House of Dagromm

2011-06-13T22:13:00.002-05:00

Some Updates

Hi everyone!! I've got lots to say, but am way too tired to probably talk about everything as much as I should. First of all let me talk about work. A few months ago I found out that my job was being eliminated. I wasn't given a definite time frame, but it was going to happen and I needed to find a new job. Well, the good news is that I've outlived my job and been offered a new position with another company. I'm excited about it and it could be a really good opportunity, but it will take me away from home a lot for the next six months and ultimately will most likely mean relocating after that six month time frame. So where as I'm excited, I'm also quite worried about being away from my family for such an extended period of time. They'll probably handle it a lot better than I will. I'm the one that cries at movies.

The boy has finished his first year of high school and enjoyed most of it. He's decided not to pursue band and is hoping that he can get a job this summer. I think he's probably younger than most places will consider, so I'm going to try to help him get a volunteer job to use as a spring board for a paying one later on. Plus it's a nice thing to do.

The girl is still playing soccer and just finished a soccer camp which was led by Mia Hamm, Kristine Lilly, and other women's soccer legends. She was really excited and got their autographs and pictures with them too. The stuff is already on her wall!

I'll write more later, but like I said........pooped.

2010-12-03T22:29:00.002-06:00

That Time of Year

So it's that time of the year again when the world asks "What does Dagromm want for Christmas?". So in the spirit of saving time from responding to hundreds/thousands of e-mails I decided to post my list.

1. Mix Tape - Preferably a CD actually. Now don't ask what I want on it, because then I'll be making it. Put songs you like on it, or ones you think I should like. Make a best 2010 CD's or your favorite songs ever. Give it a theme like songs that include the words "cherry cola" somewhere in the lyrics or are about posteriors or something, both of which I think wouldn't be that tough to do. The best part is even if I get the same thing from everyone they would all be different.
2. Soccer Jersey - Preferably of a professional or national team, but barring that if you send me an adult sized version of your kids jersey I'll wear it too. Heck go online and design your own and make it weird as hell, I'll wear it. Just nothing that I can't wear around kids. I've got enough of that stuff in my closet already.
3. Fancy Cheese - I don't think this requires explanation. It's cheese!
4. Footwear in either purple or green (not both). I wear a 10.5 in mens. I'd prefer mens shoes.
5. Any book by an athlete you can't believe would ever write a book or have one published.

I hope this helps.

Love,
Dagromm

2010-04-05T15:27:00.002-05:00

What's Dagromm Been Up To?

I know that's the question that has been on everyone's mind. He hasn't been blogging, is he ok? Dags has been so quiet, does that mean he's under cover saving the world from threats too horrifying to believe. I haven't heard from Mr. Dagromm, undoubtedly he has been waylayed by nefarious sultry vixens with otherworldly powers. Well loyal blog universe I can unequivocally tell you that the answer to all of these speculations is yes, yes, and yes.

Work
Outside of that I've been busy with a multitude of other things as well. Work has been busy as we are hiring about a hundred people a month right now which makes for a very busy work week. They're not high paying positions though so it seems like we're running up the down escalator a bit.

Books
I recently have been reading books by A. Lee Martinez, an author from Terrell, TX (Represent!). This means that he probably knows Jamie Foxx and my mom as Terrell is a small town and these are the only two people of note that I can think of that have lived there. His books are light affair but I found them very entertaining and would recommend. I started with Gil's All Fright Diner, which is a bit of horrorish stuff and then read In the Company of Ogres which is a fantasy novel. Both the copies I got of these books from the library had the additional bit of coolness of having been autographed by the author.

Soccer
Countless hours of coaching one team (3rd place currently) and managing another (2nd place currently) took a slight break this last week as my daughter and I did our annual trips to the Dallas Cup to watch more soccer. This year had some very entertaining games and included us getting to watch the U-20 US National Team as well as that of Mexico. Ultimately it was won by a Brazillian club (Cruzeiro) over a Mexican club (Monterrey). The final game was a thriller and ended with an onfield brawl during stoppage time. Mexican teams don't like losing and tempers tend to flare. Security was able to break everything up after a few minutes but it was insane for a little while.

Sultry Vixens
I found out a few weeks ago that I have a secret crush here at work. The mysterious lady sent reconnaissance to inquire my marital status and let me know that she was interested. I know what you're thinking, same old same old for Dags. Needless to say I've demanded an escort to my car after work each day since to ensure my safety from my stalker.

2010-02-12T08:17:00.004-06:00

A Confession

I've wanted to talk about this for a while, but haven't had the strength to admit it. I've become a frequenter of a certain website that I need to stay away from. It's no good for me. I have doubts whether anyone should frequent it, but I can't stop. The website has pictures of things you wouldn't believe. Pictures of things that no one would ever think to take pictures of. The website in question is that of Lone Star Auctions. This is the website used by local police stations, school districts, and other government agencies to dispense of confiscated or surplus property. I'm continuously drawn there to see what new thing I can find. A lot of 30 broken school desks? A lot of 8 miscellaneous cell phones dating back 10 years? A dump truck? I've seen all of them for sale and more. Pallets of cafeteria trays, sound mixing equipment, stuffed deer heads. The merchandise varies from the mundane to the truly bizarre. For example...

Look closely. Yes indeed. That is a Cleveland Steamer. For sale!!! Who would have ever thought you could buy a Cleveland Steamer on the internet. I'm disgusted. And compelled.

2009-10-27T22:34:00.002-05:00

Another Great Sports Interview

I don't know how many of you have already heard this, but this is a news story containing a portion of the press conference of Texas Tech head coach Mike Leach after his team lost to Texas A&M. This is the first time I've ever heard a coach blame this for his team losing.

2009-10-14T22:34:00.003-05:00

Disclosure

This last weekend I had a run in that I thought I should share. Q was visiting on Saturday and since my son had friends over we holed up in his room to play video games and stay out of their way. They were watching anime in the front room and then playing Apples to Apples. The other kids left between 9:00 and 10:30, but Q and I stayed in the room playing games for a couple more hours. Finally we shut it off and while Q was talking with my wife I searched for my glasses so that I could take my contacts off.

I couldn't remember where I put them and thought that I had possibly left them in my car since I had taken them to work with me on Friday. I went outside to see if they were there only to find that someone had gotten into my car and was in the process of stealing from it. I exclaimed with a curse word and he stood up and looked at me for a second. Then he took off running. I hesitated for half a second and then I ran after him. I had left a little cash in my car and I really couldn't afford to lose it and I knew that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I just let him run away.

I followed him around the corner at the end of my street and down the next street. I was hollering the whole time for someone to call the police in the hopes that someone would hear. By the time he had gotten four houses down the next street I had caught up to him. He didn't put up a fight and a neighbor on the street heard me and came out to help me restrain him and take him back so that we could call the cops. We stopped outside my house and I hollered in to my wife to call the police. Q came out and made sure that his vehicle hadn't been broken into as well, which it hadn't. The police came and did their thing and took him away.

There was no damage done to my car, as it had been unlocked at the time. I know better, but it's an old car and the lock on that side sticks. If I had been away from home I probably would have reached over and made sure it was locked. I guess I will now, regardless. The guy pleases with us not to call the cops, but really couldn't come up with any compelling arguments. He was obviously stoned or drunk or both. I got some information from the police and looked the guy up online. He's 21 and has been arrested several times before. Multiple drug charges and counts of burglary from homes and vehicles. He's already out on bail and I don't know the timeline for court or if I will even ever have to go. It looks like he's pled out before. I'm hoping that he's had enough of a history now that he'll be doing more time but realize that probably won't be the case.

Anyway the excitement has died down. The cops told me good job and seemed really pleased that I'd gone after him. They didn't advise me doing something like that again, but felt I did well noe the less. I thought I better let everyone know before they find out from someone else and ask why I didn't say anything.

2009-10-06T15:10:00.005-05:00

One of My Favorite Sports Interviews

Sometimes I like to sit back and reflect on my favorite press conferences and interviews of all time. Some people get so full of themselves or are so caught up in the moment that they lose it. They say things that makes the casual observer says, "Woah this guy/girl has lost all touch with reality and what is expected of them" and we love it. The following is an excerpt from a press conference with NBA star Allen Iverson from 2006.

Reporter: "So you and coach Brown got caught up on Saturday about practice?"

Iverson: "If I can't practice, I can't practice. It is as simple as that. It ain't about that at all. It's easy to sum it up if you're just talking about practice. We're sitting here, and I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we're talking about practice. I mean listen, we're sitting here talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, but we're talking about practice. Not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game last it's my last but we're talking about practice man. How silly is that?
Now I know that I'm supposed to lead by example and all that but I'm not shoving that aside like it don't mean anything. I know it's important, I honestly do but we're talking about practice. We're talking about practice man. (laughter from the media crowd) We're talking about practice. We're talking about practice. We're not talking about the game. We're talking about practice. When you come to the arena, and you see me play, you've seen me play right, you've seen me give everything I've got, but we're talking about practice right now. (more laughter)

Reporter: "But it's an issue that your coach continues to raise?"

Iverson: "Hey I hear you, it's funny to me to, hey it's strange to me too but we're talking about practice man, we're not even talking about the game, when it actually matters, we're talking about practice."

Reporter: "Is it possible that if you practiced, not you but you would make your teammates better?"

Iverson: "How in the hell can I make my teammates better by practicing?

So there it is. Either by sheer hubris or by getting caught up in the moment, Allen Iverson makes no bones about the fact that he is too awesome to worry about things like practice and things he gets paid to do. The best part is that then you get geniuses like DJ Steve Porter who mix it with other interviews like Jim Mora's famous playoff speech and drunken Joe Namath to make a sick beat like this one.

2009-10-05T13:11:00.005-05:00

A Few Things I'm Liking

Is anyone else out there watching Glee on Fox? I don't know how popular this show is, but I'm finding it very enjoyable. From the comedic characters and storylines to the acapella show choir versions of songs. I admit that it is more than a little gay, but I'm loving it.

I recently watched the movie Hamlet 2. It's been available to rent for a while and I was glad that I finally got around to it. The story is about a failed actor / failing high school drama teacher who is trying to save the drama program at his school. His stage version of popular movies have flopped and he finally decides to try and create an original play. Thus he begins work on Hamlet 2. The script and songs for his play manage to attract attention and offend the majority of the community to the point where they try to shut down the play before it is ever performed, which is exactly the kind of thing that gets the ACLU involved. The lawyer from the ACLU played terrifically by Amy Poehler steps in to save the day and offers the following assurances:

Cricket Feldstein: Well, this play is gonna bitch-slap Broadway like a cheap hooker at a gangbang.

Dana Marschz: Uh... yeah.

Cricket Feldstein: Y'know, and those Bible-humping protesters can suck a bag of dicks, 'cause all I ended up doing was giving you free publicity.

Dana Marschz: Yeah, and did you see my dressing room? It has a bidet!

Elisabeth Shue: That was a sink.

Dana Marschz: It was?

And if you're asking yourself does that say Elizabeth Shue? It does. Dreams are realized as Elizabeth Shue once again graces the silver screen! Dagromm's grade for this movie: A-.

Sorry I could only find the sing along version of this song.

2009-10-02T11:12:00.004-05:00

So there's lots to talk about and catch up on. My son's birthday, playing soccer with my new workplace, coaching my daughter's team, another exciting trip by Rod Ecstacy and Skip McBoner, the return of football, and much much more. So after much consideration I have decided to begin with events and lessons learned in the most valuable of places. The workplace bathroom.

As most of the free world probably knows I've been at my new employer now for for about four months. The first three and a half were really busy with lots of hiring and conducting training classes. The few weeks....not so much. We are officially into the slow time until Open Enrollment begins and then the beginning of next year. So....I've got some time to do some writing and appear busy at work to people passing by the office.

A new workplace means once again learning the lay of the land. Learning the movers, shakers, power brokers, politicians, and who all the people are that you can go to when you need to get stuff done but don't want everyone else to know that you have no idea howto do it. It also means learning which bathrooms are safe havens for when you need a few minutes of peace or are having the most uncomfortable and embarrassing of moments (quick note-this is almost never the bathroom closest to your office). The good thing about HR is that since you have contact with all departments, it's never that much of a surprise to see someone away from their desk. It is assumed that you are meeting with a manager from another department about some issue that you can't talk about.

The lower floor bathrooms are no good. For one, we have several visually impaired individuals who work on the first floor. This has led to uncomfortable exchanges, like when a blind person walks into the back of you while you are at the urinal. Not to mention, that as much as men are not the neatest in the bathroom I have come to learn that blind men are even messier. In addition the first floor bathrooms are too well traficked.

The second floor bathrooms are much less frequented and have better connectivity for my phone. Yes I toilet text. And yes I toilet surf on my Blackberry. Don't act like you don't. I don't need your judgement and false sainthood. The only problem has been the motion sensor automatic flush. They are hypersensitive and I have had instances where NUMEROUS flushes have taken place during one sitting. I've tried sitting still, but sometimes a song comes on the MUZAK and I have to dance. I finally discovered the technique of masking my presence to the sensor by placing a length of fresh toilet paper over the sensor before I sit down. Now I'm like the Predator. Undetectable.

2009-07-12T20:22:00.003-05:00

Time for a Little Culture

One of the things I like about living in Texas is the number of cultures that are present. Many of the smaller towns have a prevalent cultural heritage and they celebrate them with festivals. San Antonio of course has a strong Mexican heritage and celebrates Cinco De Mayo each year in an elaborate fashion. Muenster and Fredericksburg have Octoberfest and German fest each year. You can find great meats and cheeses at both of these places as well as schnitzels and pastries. Near Waco is a small town named West which has West Fest where they celebrate their Czech heritage. They have dancers, music, and of course FOOD! Anyone that's ever been through there knows that you have to stop at the Czech Stop and get kolaches. They're the best in the world.

I really enjoy these events, not that I get to go to them every year. Still, I do like to go once in a while. You can imagine my delight and surprise when I found out that there was going to be a festival within a short drive of where I live. Texas is a BIG state and many of these other festivals constitute a day of driving just to enjoy them. This one was going to be in Dallas!! I wanted to keep with the spirit of the occasion so I went to the local costume shop and rented a traditional costume, complete with Lederhosen and snappy shoes with buckles. When the day came I loaded up the kids and headed to the Oak Lawn area of Dallas for what was being hailed as Sausage Fest!!!

It was an extravagant affair with over the top decorations and costumes, but wasn't the German festival that I had been expecting. It turns out Sausage Fest can be code for something entirely different. I wasn't out of place in my lederhosen and mountain climber outfit. In fact I got many compliments and approving nods for it. They weren't the kind of compliments I wanted my kids to hear and the approving nods were a little creepy as they were accompanied by long leering stares, but you take the bad with the good.

We ended up leaving early since it was not what we had expected, but not before I was called on stage and knighted by the Queen of Sausage Fest and annointed by his royal dancers. Disappointingly I didn't get anything to eat while I was there, but I had lost most of my appetite as my wife and children laughed about the days events on the way home.

2009-04-24T22:55:00.002-05:00

One More Thing

For a few months now the one thing that could consistently cheer me up has been the radio advertisement for the Texas Lottery. If you haven't heard it then click here and check it out. The long empty spot is where the voice over would normally be. Tell me this isn't the most infectious cheery song you've ever heard.

2009-04-24T22:45:00.001-05:00

I'll Write More Later

Thanks to Gordon Keith for this.

I love you all. I'll write more on Sunday.

Or Monday.

Maybe.

2009-03-13T12:45:00.003-05:00

Hoop Dreams

March Madness is upon us and a quick review of my previous posts has concluded that I have never written about my foray into semi-professional basketball with Cyber D and Q. A couple of years back we decided as a cohesive unit to enter the regional Hoop It Up tournament. Cyber D had been working out and Q had been hitting the weight room. I myself am a renowned athlete (if you've ever been to North Texas you've probably heard) so we entered the highest level group figuring it would only be fair.

So it happened on a sweltering (105 degrees!!) Texas summer day we all met up in the West End section of downtown Dallas prepared to dominate the competition. We attracted quite a few looks at registration, but that tends to happen when people are intimidated. After getting checked in we still had some time before out first game so we headed to the Spaghetti Warehouse for some carbs drenched in alfredo sauce to give us energy through out the day. Afterwards Cyber D was still feeling parched so we stopped by Dick's on the way to the playing area. Cyber D fronted for some margaritas and shrimp cocktails. Cyber D does everything better after a few margaritas. Everything.

At 12:15 pm we headed to court #5 to meet our first opponent. We checked in with the officials and locked eyes with our enemy. Introductions were made and went thus:

Douchebag #1: Hey, I'm Phil. This is Tyreke and this is Steve. Pretty hot out here, huh? I hope you hydrated.

Daggs: Don't worry about us miscreant!!! I almost pity you for having to face my wrath on this day! My friends and family call me by name, but in basketball I am widely know as the Earl of Dunkington for my vicious dunks!!! (The recently passed legislation, Truth in Declarative Statements Act of 2009, compels me to disclose that I have been known to throw down some vicious dunks-windmills, 360's, tomahawks, etc-but they have mainly been after jumping off my best friend's bed and slamming on the nerf hoop hanging from his door. In our two man nerf league I am called the Earl of Dunkington by at least half the league)

Q: People call me P.C. for People's Court, because when I preside over the court the verdict is victory!! (much hi-fiving between the three of us) (Once again the Truth in Declarative Statements Act of 2009 requires me to admit that where-as Cyber D and I have called him a "P" and a "C" neither of those stand for the words "People's" or "Court")

Cyber D: And I am called the Horse's Tail, 'cause once I find the range it's nothing but swish, swish, swish. (this is accented by his miming a very limp wristed jump shot repeatedly) (The TDSA of 2009 would have me mention that Q and I have asked Cyber D not to do this at the basketball court numerous times. We have also encouraged a new nick name)

To make a long story short we left the tournament shortly after. We did learn a few things that we did not know before hand.
1) It turns out that a lighter meal would have been better on such a hot day. Three minutes in to the game stomachs were churning. Eight minutes in stomachs were emptied.
2) They don't allow you to bring a bed to jump off of to perform your vicious dunks. There was nothing about that on the website. That was a lot of extra manual labor that was wasted.
3) Costumes do not earn you extra points from the "judges". Q said that he had heard that they would, but they didn't. We had all dressed like our namesakes. Me in a 14th century courtiers costume, Q was wearing a judges robes and powdered wig, Cyber D was in a half of a horse costume. He looked like Pan.

2009-03-11T00:03:00.002-05:00

Real quick and fast

I've been sick. I feel better now. Older but better. I haven't seen the Watchmen yet. I did find this video today. I can't wait.

2009-02-25T13:05:00.002-06:00

Soccer

The soccer season is back and I am happy. Although we didn't get the result we were looking for in the first game I saw several promising things. Hopefully I can keep the girls from having too many costly brain farts and we can do better from here on out.

I know that I have probably watched more youth soccer than 99% of Americans. I actually enjoy watching it and seeing what level the kids are at. So I post this video knowing that it might only appeal to a very very small segment of people out there. This is a six year old kid in France that is amazing. He does great cutbacks, pullbacks, rainbows, step overs, dekes and more. If you've ever watched your young child playing for a team at this age just be glad he/she didn't face this kids' team.

2009-02-22T20:50:00.004-06:00

So I was Thinking and Stuff...

Recently I watched an independent movie that I really enjoyed called The Pirates of the Great Salt Lake. It's about some modern age guys that decide that they were destined to become pirates and so they head off to live by the pirates code. It reminded me of my great and real desire in middle school to become a pirate one day and gave me some good insight to what it probably would have been like. Of course White Rock Lake in Dallas would have had a different dynamic, but otherwise fairly similar I think. Anyway Netflix or Blockbuster this movie. It is genius. It gets a solid A-.

Reminiscing about my plans to one day be a pirate also got me to thinking about other plans that I had in middle school. For example I was fairly sure that I would be driving a motorcycle by now. The motorcycle is by far the coolest vehicle. It has been driven by American heroes like Captain America, Arthur Fonzerelli, Maverick (from Top Gun), Evil Knievel, and Super Dave Osborne. There have plenty of others of course, but I think I made my point. I knew that things could vary and there were other options as well, but a motorcycle seemed much more economical than driving Big Foot or Blue Thunder. Anyway, none of that has come to pass. I guess you could say that the cruel and unexpected twists and turns in my life have been utterly devastating, but I carry on. I just make sure that I let my kids know that nothing they have planned in their lives will ever come true. Except death.

2009-02-16T18:11:00.003-06:00

What's Dagromm Listening To???

That's the question I know that is on everyone's mind. Being on the forefront of of the music industry and pop culture like I am you get used to hearing questions like this. People want to know "what is cool" and they know where to find it. Me.

So this is what has been ringing around my ears lately.

The Ting Tings
I've been semi-obsessed with them for a month or more now. I love the way this song builds and I'm crushing on the lead singer.

The Blue Hearts
Rock and roll baby!! This group amps up some punk furiosity and I dig it. And yes furiosity is a word. I just created it. Feel free to spread your own furiosity at your discretion.

Katy Perry
This is my daughter's favorite video right now and so gets played through the Dagromm household quite a bit. I know that many others also love Katy Perry, so I'm just here to tell you that it's ok.

2009-01-29T09:14:00.002-06:00

I'd like to thank everyone that keeps checking in on me. That list is mainly my Unemployment Case Worker. I'm glad that although she wants me to get a job, she's concerned that it be a good fit. She recently sent me this video.

I like to think that she sent it out of love.

2009-01-27T14:29:00.003-06:00

Snow Day

Yes, that's right world travelers be forewarned that the children of Lewisville, Tx did not have school today because of closure due to inclement weather. Now what exactly that inclement weather is or where it is eludes me. I certainly didn't have any thoughts of it this morning when I drove them to school. I did luckily notice that absolutely no one was in the parking lot so I turned around and brought them back home and verified on TV that indeed the schools were closed. I seem to recall that I could never get a snow day when I was a kid yet somehow today's kids are able to get them easily, without the benefit of snow or ice on the ground. I've heard that it might ice tonight. MIGHT. M-I-G-H-T. What the hell? School lets out at 3:00. That's more than enough time to make it home before the arctic conditions make it unliveable outside. I guess I can safely assume that means that there will be no school tomorrow to.

Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. I love spending time with them. I love spending time with them on weekends and properly scheduled times called "holidays". The rest of the time is "me time". Instead I've spent my day constantly fixing them food. What is this where kids can go all day at school with just a sandwich, but at home they can't go five minutes without needing some elaborately prepared meal set before them. Like Ramen or Extra Cheesy Mac n' Cheese. I was saving that for me, you know.

Well, here's the one bright spot in the world that I was able to find today.

2009-01-20T14:05:00.001-06:00

For those of you wanting to know what I've been up to since being laid off I thought I'd share.

2009-01-09T15:18:00.002-06:00

Whew!! Made it!

Yes, that's right. I survived the holidays. It wasn't easy as you might imagine on one income and some unemployment, but we managed to get the kids a couple of things and we got a few things in return. Now we can concentrate on scraping by without the distraction of the holidays. To my son's credit he never really asks for much and seems delighted with whatever he gets and seems generally amused that anyone gets him anything at all. This was also the first year that he wanted to get gifts for some friends at school. I guess 7th grade is about that age, but it still kind of caught me by surprise. The boy remains kind of socially awkward, but he's managed to find himself a group of anime loving friends that he apparently fits in with. I've suggested that he invite them over, but he's not ready for that right now. That or he thinks I'm going to embarrass him. That remains a distinct possibility.

The girl had her 9th birthday party in early/mid December and for it we endured (cue ominous music and echo sound effects) the sleep over. We had nine girls come over and spend the night and although there were certainly the dramatic tear filled moments, in the end everyone had a good time. She also has been continuing with her writing and got some very positive feedback from her teacher about a story that she wrote. The assignment was to write a story using six of her spelling words, which for most of us means a story that is six sentences long. The girl loves to write though and wrote something considerably longer. Maybe I'll post it.

I received a soccer ball for Christmas from my son and a bouncey magic eight ball type thing from the girl. The soccer ball I wanted because I find I never have enough coaching supplies and really still need a few more. The bouncey eight ball/snow globe thing was something I had made a comment about Walmart and the girl determined was something I really wanted. It made for great conversation the rest of the break as I got to make several announcements to the family about how happy I am with my balls, and how proud I am of my balls, how I can't wait to play with my balls, etc. Finally the kids asked me to stop. That's the sign of good parenting. The kids have learned decorum.

Here are a few quick hits regardsing the last couple of months of unemployment.

I still don't know how to make much use out of Facebook. I think it's really like those memo boards that people use to put on their dorm room doors letting people know that they are out.

I've become addicted to Naruto.

I've recently made the single greatest meatloaf ever. I'm very proud of it.

I've recently made one of the hottest tastiest pots of chili ever. It'll make your eyeballs bleed it's so good.

Soccer sign ups are ongoing and I'm busily recruiting players to come back from last years team.

I am also planning practices and formulating some psychological tactics to get my team to play better. Some thing that uses less physical abuse and probably more verbal abuse. This is 2009 after all.

Happy birthday Goo.

2008-12-13T10:51:00.001-06:00

A Pick Me Up

I know it's been quiet for a while. Unfortunately there's been no real change in my situation. I'm still looking and I've had some good interviews, but nothing has been locked in yet. I've found that sometimes when you're down you need Shoes.

2008-11-04T08:57:00.002-06:00

Fool Me Once Shame on Me, Fool Me Twice.......Fuck!!!!

Okay, I wasn't really fooled. I saw it coming even through the protestations of the higher ups in the company. Regardless, for the second time in three years I was laid off from my job. In total somewhere around twenty folks were let go on Friday from the small company where I worked. Which of course answers the question, "What's worse than being pulled into an office and told that your job is being eliminated?" The answer of course is being pulled into an office and told that your job is being eliminated while dressed as Frank 'N Furter from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. If you can imagine watching person after person dressed in cowboy garb, afro wigs, and characters from the Wizard of OZ walking dejectedly out of the office than you can pretty much imagine what my Halloween was like.

So, I'm a professional job seeker now. Wish me luck. If you wish to call me about it, I'd appreciate you calling me at home rather than on my cell. My cell's been getting blown up the last few days. I'm pretty popular.

2008-10-29T20:05:00.002-05:00

The Big Fear

I voted yesterday!!! Early voting is the best thing ever. With out a doubt. It's like getting a sneak preview of something, or a backstage pass, or one of those passes that they sell at amusement parks that allow you to skip the lines. Awesome. I spent all of two minutes yesterday evening waiting in line to vote. This beats my previous best record for shortest time waiting in line to vote by about 1.63 hours. The relief is overwhelming. For once I've done my civic duty and wasn't terribly inconvenienced.

So now I sit and wait. The candidate I selected is comfortable ahead in the polls and if you ask the news agencies then all but FOX would tell you that he's already won. The underlying thing that I think most people wonder though is still there. Is it possible for a Black man to actually win the election?

Truthfully, I'm not sure.

2008-10-21T15:47:00.002-05:00

I don't know why this was on my mind, but...

cop
noun
short for copper, police officer

cop
verb
transitive verb slang : to get hold of : catch, capture; also : purchase slang : steal, swipe: adopt intransitive verb slang : admit—used with to

cop
noun
a cylindrical or conical mass of thread, yarn, or roving wound on a quill or tube ; also : a quill or tube upon which it is wound

Now you know. Feel free to take on the world and tackle your own demons today.

2008-10-19T22:22:00.002-05:00

For Those Who Are Too Lazy

I have found the Barack Roll for you. Enjoy.

2008-10-17T15:42:00.002-05:00

Where's the Dagromm At?

I've seen this and heard this asked multiple times over the last few months? Seriously, it's like where ever I go I'm hearing, "Where's Dagromm" and "Hey, Dags is missing" and stuff like that. It's been pretty crazy. I thought I'd end the silence and give you a trimmed down version of what's been indulging my time for the last several months.

1. JANGO - I love the internet, because there are always sites that the administrator misses when he tries to stop all the bandwidth from getting used up. I like to work on my on-line radio station "Dagromm's First" and increase my playlist. It's hard work though.

2. Soccer - The girl's team has started slow again and we are finally starting to turn the corner. I wish that we could get more participation at practice.

3. Election Talk - This has got to be the funniest presidential race in history. Once again I love he internet, because I receive something new almost everyday. My current favorite is the Barackroll on YouTube.

4. Fretting

5. Loving

6. Partying - Admittedly #'s 4, 5, and 6 used to happen in reverse order, but I'm older now and have had a vasectomy, so there you go.

7. Softball - We now have a social sports team at work. It includes practices once a week, games once a week, and female coworkers in shorts.

8. Poker - I now have a Facebook for no apparent reason. Q and Cyber D told me I needed one and it was free, so I caved to peer pressure. I still don't really make use of it except to play poker (for points) on line. I don't chat at the table unless I'm really bored. I am also amazed at how quickly people jump to conclusions when they see your avatar.

2008-07-22T10:31:00.002-05:00

OUCH!

I've been doing some yard work and finally set myself to clear out a large patch of unattended growth along the side of my house last week. I spent about 40 minutes hacking and picking up scraps that had been growing unfettered for the last two years. It was a mess and still is as I haven't finished the work, but I had filled up my trash can and had to stop.

About two days later my legs looked like a war zone. Red, blistered, and itching. I have my suspicions that in my side yard there is a substantial amount of poison ivy. This suspicion was reinforced when I did some more work on my yard this weekend and got a fresh new patch of rashes. I had always assumed that I was immune to the effects of poison ivy, much as I am immune to every other poison known to man (iocaine powder, etc.), but I have since learned that resistence to poison ivy can lessen with age and continued exposure to it (unlike iocaine powder). So now the warzone that was just my legs has expanded to my arms and chest. I am even now resisting the urge to roll around on the floor at work. It's not that I haven't done it before, but my pants are freshly pressed and I think they've still got another use in them.

2008-07-21T09:30:00.002-05:00

The Gift Bag for All Eternity

It has come to my attention recently that my life will eventually have a stopping point. I have my hopes that it will end with a really climactic scene. Maybe, I'll run the train off the tracks as I try to out run the law. I don't know. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this whole mortality thing. So, it occurs to me that I will have to make some arrangements for my remains after I am gone. I recently watched Conan the Barbarian again and think that I would like a funeral similar to what Conan gives to Valeria. Please when I go make sure that my soul is sent to Valhalla by means of a funeral pyre while you all curse Crom for letting this happen to such a swell guy.

I've also been thinking about who all will come to my final send off. Of course, I can't be sure of a final count, but I want you in the blog community to know that you are all invited. I'd like it to be a potluck affair, so if you'd all like to leave what you're bringing in the comments section that would help tremendously.

Lastly, I think that I should put together a Dagromm Memorial Gift Bag for everyone in attendance. I've just started to go over what will be included, but I thought I'd give you some of my preliminary thoughts.

1. A signed thank you letter for attending my funeral. I've never been good aboutdoing thank you notes, but it's how you finish not how you begin so as long as I get this right then I think it'll go in the plus column when resolving my afterlife status.

2. A toothbrush, trial size tooth paste and dental floss. I currently work for a dental care provider, so this should be pretty easy to score, and you the recipients of the gift bags get to be the lucky beneficiaries!!!

3. A CD (or equivilant futuristic media) with burned copies of my favorite songs.

4. Chinese finger cuffs.

5. Miscellaneous candy.

6. A tasteful nude photo of myself. Framed for display on any mantle.

7. Commemorative stationary with my photo (looking very peaceful and contemplative).

8. A random baseball card from the 1990 Topps set or basketball card from the 1991 Fleer set. Good luck!!

9. A puzzle piece that when joined with the other pieces from the other gift bag makes a photo of me on one side and forms a secret message on the back. Don't ask. I'm not telling.

2008-06-14T22:26:00.000-05:00

For those that couldn't find this....

2008-06-13T16:25:00.003-05:00

Hit and Run

Hey all, sorry for the long delay but it's been a busy few weeks all crammed together and I expect it to run into next week as well. I should have warned you all, but hopefully the Dagromm withdrawals haven't been to bad.

I don't know if any of you watch So You Think You Can Dance, but my daughters' former dance teacher is in the top 20 and I guess after this week is in the top 18! She was by far my favorite of all her teachers, and I still get happy eyes whenever she comes back to hang out at the studio. So if any of you watch the show then feel free to vote to keep her on. Her name is Chelsea Traille and she is still the only dance teacher to get a Christmas gift from us.

One of the other final dancers is also a previous dance teacher of my son's. His name is Chris something and I don't guess I paid much attention to him when he was here. I'm not nearly as interested in him so vote for him if you wish. His partner however is also a local product and graduated from the Arts Magnet High School. So, once again another tie to my artsy sisters who are also alums.

2008-05-28T13:47:00.002-05:00

Best Fronds Forever

When I can’t sleep due to the worries of the real world running through my head I lay in bed and imagine that I am somewhere else. Somewhere peaceful that I can relax and let stress drift away. I envision that I am lying on a grassy hillside. There is a blue sky up above with clouds floating gingerly past. All of the clouds are shapeless and cottony. A cool breeze blows on me manufactured by a dozen Dutch milkmaids in Kabuki make-up waving giant fronds from some far off palm trees. They sing me songs from their native land about a wall made of bottles of beer, in which they dismantle the wall one bottle at a time and pass them a round. The sun peeks out from behind the clouds and gives me a wink and waves hello to me.

The grass doesn’t so much tickle my feet as it gently massages them and I can see a distant fair grounds bustling with activity just over the next hill. My cat gently nuzzles my face and gives me an affectionate nibble (that part isn’t imagined, she just likes to fuck with me when I’m trying to sleep). The steady rhythm of the breeze matches that of my heart beat and the song starts to fade in and out. Every now and again a bird chirps a playful song and I notice the sun is still poking around the clouds and waving at me, persistently.

The smell of Rosemary is in the air and I find peace in the scent. Rosemary was this chick I used to sit behind in Anthropology in college. She smelled like pot and ice cream. Come to think of it, she did use to work at a Baskin Robbins and had a reputation for partying fairly hard. She always seemed pretty mellow to me though, so I guess you can’t believe everything you hear. The sun is waving hard at me now and is very intent on getting my attention.

The vision starts to blur and come in and out of focus now. The milkmaids’ song is getting to the last few dozen bottles in the beer wall. The clouds are slowing their trek across the azure sky, and the birds sound further away now. The sun looks really frustrated so I wave back to it and it looks overjoyed. It then sends me a lollipop through a pneumatic tube and asks if I have any other transactions to make. When I say “no”, it thanks me and tells me to have a good day.

In other news, has anyone else noticed how long those lines at the bank take?

2008-05-20T13:04:00.003-05:00

Bullet Points

I love bullet points.

They make random lists of things look organized and less like a bunch of last minute thoughts.

They are also a great space killer for business documents. No need to complete paragraphs, these are just bullet points!

Flavored cream cheese sucks. Does anyone really like strawberry flavored cream cheese? Cinnamon apple? Ugghhh.

See how that worked. It's a bullet point so I don't need any kind of transition.

Does the new Incredible Hulk movie have a chance when the last one sucked so bad and the CGI makes both movies look the same?

I got published on a CNN blog. Look at me!!! You might have to scroll down a bit

This is my 300th post. It's not my best.

I'm still rated #1 by lesbians!!! I think.

I've been re-watching Coupling season 2 and I will list the three things that Steve says that every bloke needs to know.

You will never be famous.

You're fatter than you think you are.

Stockings are a myth. There are only ten pair in the entire world that women pass around based on need, which is why they are so prevalent early in the relationship and then disappear as the relationship continues.

I've almost got my body bathing suit ready again!

The Mucho Nachos I ate for lunch isn't going to help though.

2008-05-15T09:50:00.004-05:00

Q is an Ass

Some of you might remember former blogger, Q. I know that Fringes likes to portray Q as some sort of good guy, but I feel the world deserves the truth. In the spirit of honesty about Q's jerkdom I present the following e-mail exchange from last week.

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:02 AM

To: Q

Subject: Emergency

Q,
I need another copy of the College Dropout CD. Mine got scratched up and half of it is torn the hell up. I don’t know how much longer I can hold up.

Dagromm

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:16 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

Dude, I will get you 750 Mb of Kanye West stat!

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:17 AM

To: Q

Subject: RE: Emergency

Thanks, I’m getting the shakes real bad. Hey do you know when you might be available to come by and give me some help with a few things?

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:26 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

Saturday?

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:32 AM

To: Q

Subject: RE: Emergency

Crap, I was going to suggest Sunday, but then I remembered that’s Mother’s Day. How about the following Sunday?

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:34 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

Can’t then. That is my b-day.

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:36 AM

To: Q

Subject: RE: Emergency

Oh, I didn’t know you had a rule about avoiding me on your birthday. I understand………uhmmm………..I’m just going to cry a little bit now.

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:43 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

Well, that’s not what I meant. I will be going with my parents on Sunday to celebrate my birthday, without you. Is that better?

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:46 AM

To: Q

Subject: RE: Emergency

WHATEVER!!!!!! I don’t even care, because I’m gonna have lots of fun on my own. I already have surprise party planned…..for me……..because I’m so much fun. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!!!!!!

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:51 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

That’s fine, you don’t even like horse racing. Which is where we are going. And you hate chocolate cake. I don’t know why you would even care. I didn’t invite you because I knew you wouldn’t like what we are doing. On a side note can you believe that CyberD is going to the horse races with us?

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:58 AM

To: Q

Subject: RE: Emergency

I totally CAN believe CyberD is going, because that sounds totally lame and totally the kind of thing that a totally lame person like CyberD would appreciate. So, I’m totally glad that I’m not going even though I haven’t been to the horse races all year, because I’m not into lame. I’m into things that are totally awesome like the party I’m throwing. There’s going to be birthday cake and ice cream and balloon animals and a clown that does like really awesome magic tricks. Everyone’s going to be talking about it.

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:02 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

Wow, your party sounds really fun. Sorry I won’t be able to attend because CyberD and I will be hanging out with each other gambling on horses. You know having a good time with some chocolate cake and paramutual wagering. After words we talked about attending a strip club but we knew you wouldn’t be into that either.

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:05 AM

To: Q

Subject: RE: Emergency

You’re right I really wouldn’t want to go, because I heard that strip clubs are like the worst place a person could ever go on their birthday. They don’t even give out balloon animals!!!!!

You suck. I hate your soul.

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:09 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

Well, actually there will be a stripping clown there that day on the main stage. She makes balloon animals/things and then has relations with them. I hear it is going to be really neato. You are going to have balloon animals huh. Your party sounds really fun.

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:12 AM

To: Q

Subject: RE: Emergency

Don’t patronize me!! It’s going to suck and you know it!!! I’ve scraped your name off the cake and it looks terrible now. Plus, I’ve had to spend the last hour scratching out “Happy Birthday Q” on all the napkins and writing in, “Happy 2nd Round of the NBA Playoffs!!!” You owe me some dinero to reimburse me for your big F’ Up on this one, jerk wad.

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:19 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

Dude, after the races I am sure I will have more than enough cash to give you some for the party decorations and cake. CyberD just rented a limo, this is going to be the best birthday ever!

So as you can see, Q was completely in the wrong on this. I hope this weekend you will each join me and swear an unholy curse and spit on the ground for his birthday.

2008-05-14T12:42:00.001-05:00

Movie Update

I know that as the summer roles around people across the globe turn to the HoD to let them know what to watch. “What movies are worth watching Mr Dagromm?” they yell. Well fear not people of Earth I have heard your pleas and will help you in your time of need. Here is a quick run down of a few movies that I have watched as of late.

Iron Man

I don’t know if you’ve heard of this little motion picture, but if you have then you’ve probably heard that it’s pretty darn good…..and it is. The acting performances were good, the dialogue was fun, the look was spot on, and there were a lot pretty girls as Tony Stark really enjoys being a billionaire. This might be the best “summer blockbuster” of the year and after watching it, I’m already looking forward to the new Batman movie less. This movie is a strong A-.

Baby Mama

This movie was as funny to me as Knocked Up was supposed to be. I find Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Dax Sheppard to all be xtremely funny people. I think this is one of those movies that will circle back around as people catch it on video, etc. and realize that it’s really good. It also has smaller parts played by Sigourney Weaver, Steve Martin, and others that I didn’t realize were in the show. Check this one out and expect to get an A-.

Penelope

This is a movie that stars Christina Ricci as a girl that is born with the curse of having a pig snout and ears, a really cute figure, and a big sexy forehead. My daughter was all excited to see this movie, and was in to it from the outset. The best part of the movie to me other than Ricci and Reese Witherspoon was getting to mortify my daughter and wife at the ticket counter when I asked for three tickets to “Pee-nil-lope”. The movie is fluffy and nice and if you’ve got 8 or 9 year old daughters then it should be right in their wheel house. This one is a cuddly A- and might already be available on video.

Southland Tales (DVD)

Have you ever watched a movie that was overloaded with stars and resulted in a film that was an overwhelming disaster? 15 minutes into this flick I called FEMA and reported a disaster in Hollywood and its name was Southland Tales. This movie has everything you could ever want in a bad movie; bad acting, directing, effects, editing, cinematography, poor gaffing, and I suspect the Best Boy even under delivered. This really hurts me to write since it included former Crotch Wizard, The Rock, but I suppose this is really just indicative as to why he didn’t make it with us. It also has Sarah Michelle Gellar, Amy Poehler, Christopher Lambert, Jon Lovitz, John Larroquette, Mandy Moore, Miranda Richardson, Seann William Scott, Justin Timberlake, Kevin Smith, Janeane Garofolo. I blame how bad this movie is on Will Sasso and Nora Dunn who are also in it.

On shear name power and spectacle of atrociousness I give this movie an A-.

P.S. I know this post very easily lends itself to adding pictures, but it took too long to delete comments yesterday so I went without.

2008-05-13T15:42:00.000-05:00

Huh? What??

Once again another long delay in posting. It’s kind of becoming my new thing. Unfortunately it has been caused by technical difficulties as the computer I’ve been using burned out again and my back up suddenly decided that it doesn’t recognize what an Ethernet cable is anymore. Perplexing.

I would have been accessing at work, but there have been a culmination of events here that have made me decide that it was best not to. The first was an unfortunate event that put our company in the news at least here locally. There were reporters and truthfully it will probably be revisited by news crews before it’s all said and done. A lot of scrutiny was being put on any communications and I decided it best not to push it for the sake of blogging. The second event occurred a week or two afterwards where I became upset with my employer and a comment that was made. In the grand scheme of things it probably wasn’t a big deal, but I let my frustrations be known and once again I felt that my communications might be monitored so I kept from the blog.

So, last night I was flipping around the channels and saw a Nightline or ABC News television article talking about Dooce. I’m not a big fan of Dooce’s blog, but I know Cyber D reads it and so I felt in some way a connection to the story. Dooce and her husband apparently make a full on living from her blog. Wow. That’s all I really had to say about that.

I’m still coming to grips with the fact that times are changed from when I was growing up. It doesn’t seem that long ago, but apparently it was. This was proven to me once again by my son. He got introduced to a role-playing group through the public library. So now instead of being worried about the devil worshipping practices of RPG’s like when I was kid, it’s a publicly funded event. I left my son at the library thinking that maybe I hadn’t done my son any favors as this would certainly damage his dating potential for years to come. That’s one of the inarguable laws of man. Dice wielding role playing geeks don’t get girls. Low and behold when I pick him up I find that there were two girls in the group. One of them was one he knew from school who was also a first timer. WHAT???!!!!???!!?!?!?!?!???? I left my son for geeky fun and come back to find that it’s some hooking up thing?

The girl’s going nuts that she can’t get on the blog to write more. I don’t know what she has to say, but I know how tough it is to hold on to those fleeting ideas that work their mercurial way through our heads and I sympathize.

I think it’s safe to say that I am found to be the most attractive guy to the Lesbians at work. Seriously they’ve told me multiple times that they have crushes on me. I assume that what I feel at this prospect is akin to the legless person that wins a lifetime supply of running shoes. I’m also curious as to what kind of guy the homosexual woman finds attractive comparative to the straight woman. I also have the feeling that I don’t really want to know the answer.

2008-04-08T13:46:00.002-05:00

Thanks Cyber D

I'm glad that Cyber D still has e-mail exchanges with me once in a while. Luckily the other times I've published our e-conversations hasn't dissuaded him from communicating with me. So, I'll publish our correspondence from last week in the hopes that Cyber D will send me the receipt template that I asked for.

From: Dagromm
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 4:30 PM
To: Cyber D
Subject: receipt

Cyber D,

Do you have any sort of template for a donation receipt?

Dagromm, PHR

From: Cyber D
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 4:34 PM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: receipt

I’m certain I can provide you something, but it will have to wait until next week. I don’t process receipts so I’ll need to touch base with someone else in my department in order to get a template. Otherwise I could craft something from scratch that would fill your needs but – again – I would have to put pen to paper no earlier than next week. I hope that’s okay. Let’s circle back at that time?

Cyber D

From: Dagromm
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 4:39 PM
To: Cyber D
Subject: RE: receipt

Oh God, I got office speak from you. OK, we’ll “circle back” and “touch base” on the “particulars of the project”.

From: Cyber D
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 4:41 PM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: receipt

F-you! Sometimes office speak is the most salient way to communicate politely. Would you have preferred…

Yeah I can help but I don’t have time now. Let me talk to some people or else I’ll just pull something out of my ass but you’ll have to wait your f-ing turn! Get in line!

How’s that?

Cyber D

From: Dagromm
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 4:47 PM
To: Cyber D
Subject: RE: receipt

That’s really not what I’d expect from someone I consider a friend either, but I guess we were raised differently. I suppose I’ll just take the high road and “wait my turn”.

From: Cyber D
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 4:49 PM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: receipt

Smoke…

Cyber D

From: Cyber D
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 5:12 PM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: receipt

my

From: Cyber D
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 5:16 PM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: receipt

pole

You'll notice that Cyber D is quick to lose his temper at 4:40 on a Friday. I should have known better than to ask something of him when I know he's already been drinking.

2008-04-04T16:44:00.001-05:00

Time shoots by and there are multiple things to catch loyal readers up on. The boy has an unofficial girlfriend. It’s been going on for a while. She told a friend that she liked him who told him and he said “ummm ok” and then he asked her to the dance which she couldn’t go to because she had family coming in town, she calls him semi-regularly, he took a picture of her with his cell phone, and now she wants to know if he can go to the mall and hang out sometime. So that’s romance and dating in the modern day. Her name is Ebony. She’s a sista.

The girl’s soccer season is almost to the midway point and she and the team have been struggling. I don’t know if she’s just uncomfortable transitioning between the two teams or what, but she knows that she’s not playing well which is frustrating her and making her play worse. She and I have worked a little extra and have talked about it, so I hope that’s about to turn around this weekend. The team started getting really physical in practice and I’m hoping it carries over into the games, because we’ve been lacking in that regard to a painful degree.

Today I find out that the girl has strep throat. She had to get a shot in the leg and I don’t know that she’ll be playing this weekend. I got her McNuggets. That's the only medicine I know. That and Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

2008-04-03T16:04:00.002-05:00

Life is a Song

Sometimes I like to share the knowledge that I have gained through the many experiences in my life. In a way I feel that is my major gift to the world that will be left behind long after I am gone. I pass on knowledge so that others don’t have to make the same mistakes, so that they in turn can build from the foundation that I have lain and further the cause of creating a better humanity.

To that I end I will profess that I live my life as if it were a movie. A musical in fact, in which people will instantaneously burst in to song and dance as the whim strikes them. When I’m not crooning to my kids about the glories of fried chicken while in the drive-thru at Popeye’s, I’m espousing the inadequacies of other drivers during my morning drive, or serenading my coworkers. I feel that I have gained a unique knowledge and insight from this practice of living life as a movie and I will share it with you.

The following is a list of songs that I can without hesitation tell you should not be sung while making love. In fact most of them should never be sung while naked and sweaty under any circumstances. If you are to take on an existence, like my own, in which music helps define your life then I can only hope you will follow my advice.

Knockin’ on Heavens Door (Guns in Roses) – I know it seems like this would be the perfect song especially if you can mimic Axel Rose, but it isn’t……at all.

That’s the Way (uh-huh uh-huh) I Like It (KC and the Sunshine Band) – Once again this seems like it would go over well, but it doesn’t. In fact you might get asked to leave, forcefully.

Genie in a Bottle (Christina Aguilera) – I don’t feel that I should have to explain this, just take my word for it.

Star Trekkin’ (The Firm) – OK, two words, mood & killer

American Pie (Don McLean) – Do you realize how long this song is???? Fellas, if you try to sing this while in the act you are just going to feel bad about yourself in the end. Save yourself the therapy and please don’t attempt it. For the same reason you might also want to avoid the Sugar Hill Gang’s “Rappers Delight”, Baby Bubba.

2008-03-22T11:19:00.001-05:00

It's been a little while and a few things have been rolling around in my brain to mention. The first one is this news story that I saw a while back. I didn't notice a whole lot of talk on the subject, but I found it somewhat amusing. For some reason I find myself taking the Little Miss Sunshine approach to this story. I wish they would have just gotten an autograph and then let her go on her way. Maybe take a picture with her lighting up or something.

The girl and I have spent most of our free time at the Dallas Cup watching soccer. She's been excited to watch the Liverpool U-19's from England play since she plays for a local Liverpool Academy team. She wears her Liverpool shirt to games and cheers very loudly. We've made friends with some other supporters of the team and sit with them at the games. The girl has been working on te lyrics for "You'll Never Walk Alone" which is their unofficial theme song and even persuaded me to get her a Liverpool F.C. flag. Last night we went to the semifinals and watched them play against Benfica from Portugal. My daughter's impression after the game was that the Portuguese were all a bunch of cheats and fakers, so it's a been a learning experience for her. Liverpool came out on top scoring in the last two minutes of regulation to take home a 2-1 victory and secure a spot in the Finals against Tigres (Mexico).

After the game, we stuck around and the girl got her flag autographed by the Liverpool players. They were all very nice and took the time to sign things and take pictures. They have a few stud players that I'm sure will be playing with somebody's first team before long.

2008-03-22T11:00:00.001-05:00

Two Great Powers Coming Together

2008-03-14T10:39:00.002-05:00

Spring and Rebirth

Last week my cell phone had an untimely demise. Even as, I watched its’ last remnants of life flickering away I looked up to the heavens and said, “Please forgive me for I know not what I’ve done.” My protestations could not stop the inevitable though and although my phone had often spoken the word unto me, I realized that it would not convey its’ messages that were sent from above to me any longer.

I entombed the phone within a box and laid it to rest at the feet of the virginal maidens within the Verizon Wireless location from whence it had originated. They told me not to cry for my phone would not be laid to rest for long. And as they spoke it was as if the music of angels filled the air as played in MP3 format by the speakers attached to the Samsung Juke display.

I gathered my strength as best I could and tried to emulate life for the next few days. That is when the miracle happened. On the third day my Mint Chocolate by LG rose again in accordance with the warranty. The box was returned to me by the messengers of Fed Ex and the container that had held it was unsealed. The phone was there looking as though the weary travails of its’ previous life had never happened. It was unscarred and had truly been reborn!

In other news, I’ve lost my entire contacts list from my phone. Feel free to e-mail me your numbers so I can build it up again.

2008-03-12T23:09:00.003-05:00

I Found It!!!!

With a little hard work and ingenuity I was able to find the picture that CNN had up the other day in the Teenage Girls with Venereal Diseases article.

I found it on the Black Folks Community Live Journal along with this great comment.

What I'm upset about besides these staggering numbers, is that the image used is of a Black teen aged guy and a White teen aged girl....does anyone else find that strange? She's fully dressed, he has no shirt on. There's no rap posters on the wall so I guess they're in her room....

Hopefully, the IT department at work won't ask why I was googling "teenage girls pics" or "black guys with white girls".

2008-03-11T12:55:00.004-05:00

An E-Mail I recently Received For Real

I recently received this e-mail from a dear friend of mine. For your edification, I thought I would share.

From: Big Dirty
Sent: Friday, March 07, 2008 1:29 PM
To: 'Dagromm'
Subject: Fuck This!!

Hey Dags,

I know how much you hate getting chain letters, forwarded news stories, and really hot trim (ha ha ha!!!) but you need to see this. Do you think it's for real???

At first I was like, "This is really scary", then I was like, "Man that chick is hot and totally about to give it up to that black dude. I wonder which one is about to drop some V.D. on the other? Man she's hot." Then I got to thinking that maybe they're just making all this stuff up to keep guys away from all the hot girls. More for them, right? Like weapons of mass destruction in Afganistan or Iraq or Korea or wherever.

Then I was like, "Hey, even if this is true then there's a lot of chicks out there that like to party and they're going to get pretty desperate what with news stories coming out about their infected va-jay-jays". They're going to be willing to kill for some Big Dirty!!!!

I know, what you're thinking now and I'm way ahead of you. I've already e-mailed the CDC to try and get a list of all the girls that were involved that like to do it. This is awesome! I love the government. I knew people paid taxes for a reason. Hot damn!

Stay Krunk on the Junk,
Big Dirty

For clarification purposes, that was not what I was thinking.

2008-03-03T19:06:00.002-06:00

Good Bye, Good Friend

I hate times like this. Today I found out that a good friend of mine has passed on. I had that weird feeling when I was getting ready this morning, and if I had known then that it had happened I probably wouldn't have gone in to work today.

Around midday was when I found out. I sat at my desk and looked down at my cell phone which was blinking. I knew it was bad news. I picked it up and pushed the button. My heart dropped immediately when I found out what had happened. I couldn't believe it. I slammed my phone against the desk out of despair, but nothing was going to help. I've mentioned this friend once or twice on this blog, but I suppose this will be the last time. This time I say good bye and let you know that you'll be missed.

My LG Mint Chocolate phone has rung it's last. It has crashed and gone to wherever it is that cell phones go when they die. I feel like I lost a great opportunity to talk more with it when it was still alive. That's the way it always is with these things, I guess.

If anyone would like to say a goodbye you may do so in the comments.

2008-02-25T14:56:00.002-06:00

Real American Heroes

I'd like to take a minute to recognize the great movie icons of the 80's. They fought Mr. T and the Russians for us. They flew special Top Gun missions to protect our freedoms. They took to the streets with their nearly retired partners to fight off criminals. They even drove time machines to the past and the future to make the world a better place. They didn't let anything get in their way. If their trainer or best friend died, did that stop them?? No. If they wanted to commit suicide but were too chicken to do it, did that keep them from doing right? Hell no. If they got locked in the trunk of Marvin Berry's car during the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance, did they give up?? Of course not.

These people were an inspiration to us all. These were the people that perfected the movie montage. These were the folks that taught us no matter if you've got a speech impediment like Rocky, or a dead dad like Maverick, or crazy hair like Riggs, or were out of plutonium to fuel your time travel device, or were only 5 foot 8 inches tall or less like all of them; that you could still come out on top.

Thank you little guys. Thank you all.

2008-02-23T22:51:00.003-06:00

My 8 year old daughter has decided to start a blog and made her first post tonight. She's actually been asking me for some time if she could do it and I finally consented. I helped her put it together and with spelling, but she put the content in herself. She really enjoys writing (that's one of the things her teachers like about her) and she is giddy with excitement about getting to have her own page. Feel free to check it out here. If you leave a comment she'd be thrilled.

2008-02-18T12:26:00.000-06:00

A Conversation With My Little Friend

YouTube: Hello Dagromm! What’s going on?

Dagromm: Not too much. The rain and cold cancelled out my soccer games this weekend. I’m a little bummed.

YouTube: I know how you feel. I had some big stuff planned too.

Dagromm: Oh well…..So hey, I need to catch up a little with the primaries. Can you get me up to date?

YouTube: You bet Dagromm! Nothing’s too much for my favorite guy!!!

Dagromm: I love you YouTube.

2008-02-14T13:49:00.002-06:00

Don't worry Cyber D, it's on the way!!!

2008-02-12T11:31:00.000-06:00

Flash Back

Even after all my writing the last couple of years there are still people out there that feel I am a mystery so I thought I would draw back the curtain a little bit and tell you about my time in the FBI. Now understand that a lot of it is confidential, so I won’t be able to disclose everything, but I can tell you that I was involved with some pretty intense portions of our nations’ war with underground crime.

After graduating the Academy with high marks in Marksmanship, Forensics, and Culinary Arts; I was quickly placed on a special assignment. I became part of the Elite DVD Anti-Piracy Task Force. I don’t want to go into all of the dirty details, but I can tell you that this is by far the darkest and most dangerous parts of America’s criminal underworld. Needless to say, many of my comrades didn’t make it out alive. Others even after their duty ended needed psychological counseling to deal with the trauma.

I myself am only now able to get a grip on some of the horrors that I was witness to. The physical scars have long since healed, but the emotional scars have taken much longer. Sometimes at night I relive the atrocities of the Dude, Where’s My Car Campaign that claimed the lives of so many good men. Still, I fought on in what seemed like a war that would never end. From deep in the back alleys of poverty stricken barrios to the high rise lairs of felonious kingpins I fought the good fight, but after the highly publicized Big Momma’s House 2 Incident even I couldn’t go on.

2008-02-07T15:27:00.000-06:00

Election Fever!!

Each election I get a little more interested and presumably a little more informed of the candidates running. I don’t know if this is a sign of maturity as much as it is a sign of boredom and looking for some new thing to pass the time. Kind of like the Olympics. It’s only once every four years, so I can suspend disbelief for a few months and pretend that I’m interested in things like shot put, gymnastic floor routines, or tax relief for eco friendly companies.

I knew that I would vote democrat, but wasn’t sure which candidate was right for me. Hillary or Barack. I find it interesting that the Democratic candidates are known to us by their first names. We don’t think about the Republican candidates as John, Mitt, and Mike. They are McCain, Romney, and Huckabee. They are not on a first name basis with the common man. They don’t want to be. Is it just me or does McCain look like the generic “evil/corrupt politician” from the movies?

Anywho, I was sent the candidate profile test and found that I’m 90% Barack vs. 70% Hillary so I guess that’s that. So now I will be promoting the ObamaNation. I’ll push for the one true Obama, the uni-Bama, if you will. Go America!

2008-02-06T13:56:00.000-06:00

Hey Dags, What’s Been Going On?

Glad you asked Blog Community. Lots and not a lot at the same time. At work, my medical insurance for the family tripled in cost. You read that right. TRIPLED. Ugghh. My initial reaction was that we’d have to do without and learn to be healthy, but then I thought about how well the kids follow directions and decided against it. I was more than a little pissed and voiced my concerns to the boss and company owner. Hopefully I was able to maintain a little tact. I’m afraid I might have dropped some F-Bombs. I’m afraid I might have dropped a lot of them.

The wife started a contract gig this week. It’s a four week deal, but you never know and we’ve got our fingers crossed that it could turn into more. It’s closer to home and my work, which are good things and runs 8:30–5:30 Mon-Fri, which is also good because it allows her a little time in the morning when we are scrambling getting everyone ready to go. Lots of finger crossing is going on here.

Soccer season is starting which means that I will have next to no free time for the next two to three months. We had our first practice last night in 40 degree weather and a little bit of rain. We didn’t go too long, but it was a good start and I have high hopes. The girls Academy team has been practicing for about a month already. There’s been lots of drama and our previous team manager left and tried to recruit players to go with her. In total we lost a quarter of our team. I got tapped on the shoulder to become the new team manager and I accepted before I had thought much about it. It turns out to have been a good thing though as the club has slashed the dues for me for taking on the role. If it weren’t for this then my daughter probably wouldn’t be playing with them either. It’s been a lot of extra work as well though. Recruiting, looking for practice facilities, paperwork, looking up fund raising opportunities, etc. Oh well, I’m determined to do a good job so that all the girls have a good experience.

By the way, the picture above is the Scrooge McDuck money bin that I've been hoping to build one day. I'm not close at all yet.

2008-01-16T22:58:00.000-06:00

For Those Who Want to Know

I understand that a number of you have been curious why Q has been so quiet as of late. He hasn't posted much on his blog and hasn't left many comments on the blogs of others. Well I thought I would enlighten those who aren't as close to the Q. He has of late taken to involving himself in politics. It has damn near consumed all of his time and resources.

You might ask what has led him to this. The Presidential race? A current opening in his local government? Nope. To Q it is something much more serious than that. It's bigger than whether Iraq is ruled West Coast Muslims or East Coast Muslims. He says it's about oppression and certain inalienable rights that are being tread upon. I don't want to go into the whole thing now, but I'm attaching this link for whoever wants more insight.

I'll also attach this pic of Q rallying the people to his cause.

2008-01-15T13:01:00.000-06:00

ABC Belittles the Sacrifices of US Troops

Yes my friends and fellow lovers of the American Way, I too was disgusted when I saw what ABC was doing. I don't know why they thought it was appropriate in this time of national emergency. Instead the so-called "American" Broadcast Company felt this was the right time to declare a Dance War between Bruno Tolioni and Carrie Ann Inaba. To compare the difficulties our troups are facing in Afghanistan and Iraq to the competition between Inaba (who speaks Japanese!!!) and Tonioli (an admitted non-American) is at the very least an insult to our troops and in fact an insult to all Americans.

I think it's safe to say that most U.S. Americans know better than to believe that our troops are overseas in the Iraq doing highly stylized choreography while the Al-Queda Nazis respond with their own flurry of shuffle, step, shuffle, step, smile, and turn. I expect the outrage is building to this insinuation and very soon ABC will be shut down by the public outcry. Until that time I will instead have to watch good American programming like Gossip Girl and the new Knight Rider.

2008-01-04T11:23:00.000-06:00

Books in Review

In my time away from the blog I did a little reading and thought that I'd share a few reviews for those in search of something to pass the time.

Winkie

Winkie is the story of a teddy bear that is passed down through a family and eventually wills itself to life. It then goes on the run and is captured by special forces and is brought on trial as a terrorist mastermind. The book is a lot deeper then most people glancing at it would probably think and touches on a number of subjects including politics, religion, philosophy, and sexuality. It's a well written book, but not a gripping one. All in all I'd have to give it an A-.

Fahrenheit 451

This is one of those books that has been on my "to do" list for a number of years. Well, I finally got around to reading it, and it was both enjoyable and surprising. I went into this read knowing roughly what the book was about, but I found they style of the writing to be very different to than what I expected. Still well done, but lots of fragmented sentences meant to convey feelings or confusion. Of course it was also interesting to see how something written 50 years ago was still very accurate on a lot of fronts in regards society and the way that thought and information are conveyed. Ray Bradbury certainly earned the 10 cents an hour he got paid to write this book and also his A-.

Planet Hulk

This was a Christmas gift my son received and as soon as he was done, I picked it up and poured through it. This was very well done. The story line was straight enough that a newcomer could pick it up and enjoy it, with characters that came from forgotten story lines of other comics through out the Marvel Universe. On top of that the art was very nice and the covers were beautiful. The hard back even comes with extra background information that shows how well thought out the whole thing was. Nice book for comic lovers. A-

2008-01-03T09:57:00.000-06:00

My Predictions for 2008

1. Due to struggles in the Middle East, environmental concerns, and a multitude of things that the common man can't comprehend gas prices will be forced to continue to rise and fuel companies will be forced to make record breaking profits.

2. The U.S. will succeed in closing our borders to all immigrants thus causing a massive rise in the cost of health care as we will have effectively cut our main source of doctors.

3. The spelling of the word extreme will be changed to Xtreme, because it is found to be in fact more extreme that way.

4. To combat the feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem that are sweeping our country due to the constant promotion of unrealistic body type expectations a new cable station is established that stars only "real people with real looks". It is lauded by educators, acclaimed by critics, and shuts down within six weeks.

5. The NBA attempts to turn around a downward trend in television rating by instituting several rules changes including the elimination of the "free throw" and the institution of the "free dunk". Steve Nash's career scoring average drops severely and he retires within two years.

6. The term "trash T.V." will be replaced by the term "T.V."

7. To help ailing retailers Easter is changed to Second Christmas and is heavily promoted as the time when the Eater Bunny brings good children toys and electronics. Your child has been good right? They shouldn't be left out should they?????

8. Everyone will be surprised when the Academy Award for Best Picture goes to Underdog. Everyone that is, except me.

9. The country will go one step further by legalizing prostitution on Halloween each year nationwide. The Speaker of the House argues for it by pointing out the top selling adult costumes for the last year. (This would be a good place for a link, but I'm not up to actually doing the research on this one (I'm at work))

10. The United States will overthrow their current political leader and force him out of office by the end of the year.

2007-11-09T09:28:00.000-06:00

The Month in Review

Things have really been in a flurry lately as we raced to the end of our youth sports seasons and the end is in sight. This weekend will be the last game for my daughter's rec soccer team that I coach. After we defeat The Butterflies we will be 8-2 for the season and in second place. Not bad improvement for our team. The first season we went 3-7 and last season 6-4 so we are slowly creeping towards perfection. We still have plenty of area for improvement so I'm excited about next season already. After the game we will have our end o'season party and do the whole trophy thing.

My son has also finished his football season, sort of. His team went on to wint he City Championship. The player that they had lost due to a move to Arizona flew back to help out and the final score of the game was 32-19. He is so proud of his Trophy that says 1st place and City Champion. I don't know if he'll want to play again next year, but I think he'll be ready to go again come next fall. This weekend they have "Bowl Game" against a different city champion. I don't know why, because after you win the City Championship I can't help but think that anything afterwards will be a let down. After that, I think we will mercifully be done.

My daughter's other team (Liverpool) finished their season last weekend. They started the season roughly, but they had two wins and a tie in their last three games to finish on a positive note. The girl spent the last three or four games playing defense which I don't think is the right position for her, but I guess is where the coach felt like she helped the most. The girl was excited about playing defense at first, but looked a little bored about it by the last game. She's got lots of room to grow as a defender. One on one she's alright, but she's a horrible team defender right now. Oh well. They've got their end of season party on Sunday.

Additional winning that's been going on.
I did win one of the drawings at the HR conference. I don't want to say what I won, because I don't know who'll be getting it for Christmas yet, but I thought it was fairly cool. I also won the footpall pick 'em at work for last week. I don't participate too much because people have a hard time with the guy that's handing out the prizes handing one to himself, but it was my turn so f 'em. I also won first prize in the Halloween costume contest. I dressed in my best impersonation of Dingle from Reno 911. I had a wig, fake mustache, uniform, etc. People could actually identify who I was which was cool.

You read all of this and you think everything's perfect, but life is never that easy. The family has had losses, bills are always tighter then I'd like, and I have to replace my car. Just in time for the holiday season.

2007-10-23T21:22:00.000-05:00

Corporate F'ing Around

Well blog world I'm getting away from the office for a few days. My boss and I are headed to the HR Southwest conference for the next three days. What's that mean? It means that besides being away from the computer for extended periods, I will be signing up for any and every drawing that I see in the hopes of actually winning something from one of the bazillion vendors that will be set up there. It also means that I will be sitting in many "interesting" lectures and classes. It definitely means that I will be getting a free lunch for the next three days, and ultimately that I will be taking a company paid three day vacation.

Hopefully I'll get enough continuing education credits to keep up my certification while I'm counting how many hot girls actually work in the HR field. For those of you who don't know, it's not many.

My boss has pretty much the same thing in mind that I do. We'll go late, leave early, and work on getting plenty of rest. I do have to admit that I'm excited about Friday's keynote speaker.
http://www.hrsouthwest.com/pages/Keynotes.htm
I don't really know what she has to do with HR, but I'm hoping for an autograph!

2007-10-18T08:24:00.000-05:00

Memories

I thought I'd share a few pics as I was recently overcome with nostalgia for my community at large and specifically my Blog Community.

The first one was taken at the wedding of Gyuss Baaltar a few years ago. Here he and the Mrs. are at the reception that immediately followed the wedding. Gyuss took a spare no expense approach to his wedding. The reception was at a really nice Days Inn and he bought his wedding costume as opposed to just renting it. Unfortunately the Green Lantern ring he placed on his bride's finger brought looks of disapproval from her family. They had been hoping for a Legion of Super Heroes flight ring.

This next one comes from the time when Q had seen Scarface and thought that he could become a drug overlord in a short amount of time with a few high profile displays of violence. So he snuck out one evening and keyed the cars of people that he thought might know about the drug industry (which were basically the workers at the local CVS, his family doctor, and the Hispanic families in his small town). This caused a small revolt by the Mexican gangs in the local area and this nice piece of grafitti appeared. Q feared for his life and went into hiding at my place until it was safe, or at least until I stopped buying the meatball Hot Pockets.

I also wanted to share a picture from a time I was hanging out with Cyber D. As everyone knows Cyber D loves going to the movies, like almost more than anything. So a few months back he and I went to the premiere of Transformers. Cyber D loves Sci-fi but had been drinking (big surprise, I know) and while we were waiting had to start mouthing off about how much better the Dr. Who franchise was and that the Transformers movie was like Brokeback Mountain with robots. I edged away as I could see the restlessness growing with each of his loud proclamations. As soon as Cyber D shouted that Megatron was Starscream's bitch I knew it was on. Anyway Cyber D and I didn't get to see the movie together that day, but I did get this funny picture of him totally getting his ass beat.

Susan and I met up once. Once. I had just flown into town and Susan met me at the airport. I didn't expect to even see her on that trip. To be honest I don't even know how she knew it was me. She just said she recognized my pants. She also said that she hung out at the airport all the time and asked if I wanted to buy her a drink. "Ummmmmm.....ok," I said. So she pulled me into the TGI Fridays in the airport terminal immediately ordered a bottle of Crown, poured it into a half-full two liter of Coke, and started drinkning straight from the bottle. The conversation was really weird and seemed to revolve around which of the Seven Dwarfs would be most fun to date. Just before airport security arrived I was able to get this picture.

So a few weeks back, I had run into a Barnes and Noble, when I heard an unfamiliar voice call from behind me "Dagromm! Dagromm!!!". I turned and was surprised to see Tera there. She was in a terrible fury. Before I could even ask what was wrong she shoved a book into my chest and said, "Can you believe this shit??? Well I'm not standing for it!! I'm protesting this! I'm glad you came we'll make human chain at the front door". It wasn't a really effective protest as the Barnes and Noble we were at had four doors and we only blocked two of them. I'm not sure that most people even knew it was a protest. I think they thought we were just arguing. This conception was probably exacerbated by the fact that Tera kept yelling at me when ever anyone came through one of the other doors that I was "doing it wrong". Anyway, here's a picture of the book that set Tera off. She said they stole the title she was planning on using for her memoirs.

I don't travel a whole lot, but I did earlier this year and got turned around trying to find my hotel. I went into a grocery store to ask directions. I walked up to what looked like the most available employee which was at the bakery counter. I asked for some help with directions and got a glazed stare in return. Feeling awkward I glanced down and found a disturbing array of cakes that all featured bunnies. I asked what the deal was with the cakes and was told that it was Tuesday and if you wanted a cake on Tuesday you had to buy a bunny cake. I asked why and was given the glazed over stare again and then told in a very cold voice that, "Everyone likes bunnies!". I didn't want to argue, so I just repeated my request for directions. Her response was that she wasn't being paid to give directions and that she didn't do it for free. She then advised me to buy a Tom Tom and to have a nice day. Thanks Heather.

2007-10-14T21:03:00.000-05:00

Life Imitates Art

One of the problems of my current job is that I've been pulled from the recesses of having my own office to having to sit with the commoners in the cubicle area. This means that I have less ability to spend hours talking on personal calls and write on my blog. It also means that I am more likely to have interractions with my fellow employees. I shout out random comments over the cubicle walls like, "I like cheese", and when one person asks a question over the walls to someone else I follow it up with a question like, "Employee Z, why do bad things happen?".

About a week and a half ago I made the statement that I wished we would stop doing cakes for people's birthdays since I don't have much of a sweet tooth (chocolate chip cookies excluded) and instead did nachos. The idea of nachos seemed to really resonate with my coworkers and the next thing you know a nacho potluck was being organized. There was a sign up sheet posted and it was given the title of Dagromm Appreciation Day. I couldn't believe that this had happened. Certainly Eslocura has some strong influence even all the way up into the far reaches of North Texas. When I returned to work after teh weekend a poster had been put up advertising Dagromm Appreciation Day with multiple pictures of yours truly and thought balloons making statements like, "I love cheese" and "I love me". Both of which are true.

So last Friday was Dagromm Day here at work and it was a huge success. Nothing brings the people together like........well........me.......I suppose. I gained a solid two pounds after consuming massive quantums of nachos and everyone was already making plans for the next one. The only embarrassing part was when the company owner came up and saw the sign with my picture all over it declaring it was my day. I felt bad because it was also his birthday and there wasn't nearly the same done to celebrate it.

2007-10-08T09:32:00.001-05:00

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

If you like deviltry then you're probably a big fan of The Charlie Daniels Band and the Devil Went Down to Georgia. If you've never heard the song then feel free to enjoy.

If you do like this song then you probably also remember the more recent version done by the KMC KRU. It's so fresh I can hardly stand it. Uh uh uh uh. Sorry, I broke into the running man for a minute.

2007-10-05T12:03:00.000-05:00

Time and Again

I'm not feeling too productive today. I find them times of intense activity and productivity are generally followed by times of intense inactivity and lack of productivity. This is one of those days. The necessities of the week have been met, and I'm done. There's plenty more for me to do, but mentally I'm on vacation.

I feel like I've been talking about the value of time a lot lately and certainly contemplating mortality brings that out in people, but hopefully it hasn't been too redundant. I thought I would spend a post listing some of the things that I think are an inordinate waste of my valuable life.

People stopped in the right lane at a traffic signal who are not going to turn right. These people should by and large be dragged from their massive SUV's and shot. You are wasting my life by sitting in front of me and holding me up.

Word Verification on comment pages. I don't know how many precious hours I've lost to this thing. I get them wrong all the time. I have yet to see any difference on my blog by not having it. Please get rid of them.

Customer Call Centers with automation instead of a live person that can quickly answer my questions.

Lines. Any of line that I have to stand in, is not a well organized event. I should never have to come to a complete stop. Ever.

The credit card pitch at the department store. I don't want it. Please don't beat me down at the register about it or ask me why I don't want to apply. It's none of your f'ing business. You need to be more concerned with how pissed I am that I had to stand in line for an extra five minutes to get to the register because you beat down every person in front of me with the same pitch.

2007-10-02T22:00:00.000-05:00

Tera-rize Me

The current meme that's running rampant like VD in the Playboy Mansion has come back to haunt me again. This time I've been tied to the chair by Tera who has put the hot lamp in my face and put her cigarette butts out on the back of my hand until I came back with answers.

1. What is the one lesson that you've learned in life that has the biggest impact on you?
That the most valuable thing you will ever have is your time. This is one of those things that occured to me as I sit/stood bored to death in some menial minimum wage job when I was younger. I realized that I was basically selling my life away for $4.50 an hour. I look at everything I do now as a trade off of the limited amount of time I have on Earth and ask myself if it's worth it to me.

2. Write your epitaph.
Living easy, living free
Season ticket on a one-way ride
Asking nothing, leave me be
Taking everything in my stride
Don't need reason, don't need rhyme
Ain't nothing I would rather do
Going down, party time
My friends are gonna be there too

I'm on the highway to hell

3. In your estimation, what is the ideal vacation?
This is a great question and I'll tell you what I've been planning for a few years now. I feel that I've been too reclusive lately. My ideal vacation would be to get out of the House for a while and tour the world to see how Dagromm Day is celebrated by all the people's of the world. Can you imagine what a treat it would be for all the common folk around to get to see the REAL Dagromm on D-Day? I think it would be pretty special for everyone. From the noble houses of Puerto Rico to the shanties of.....well, probably Puerto Rico.

4. Your children ask you about the "birds and the bees," what do you tell them?
I tell them that we pay taxes so that teachers can answer those questions. Do I look like a trained educational professional?!???? What the hell are you learning in school anyway? Where's your homework? Let me see it!!! Clean your room!

5. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Since I can't decide on anything, I suppose I would make myself more decisive. No wait, maybe not. I'm not sure.

2007-09-27T16:54:00.000-05:00

I asked to be included in the newest interview chain on Eslocura's blog the other day as I love talking about myself. She responded magnificently and I will use this post to answer the interview questions that I was posed.

1) As queen of Puerto Rico, I have the power to declare "Dagromm Day", what special events/activities mark this auspicious occasion?

This is a great question Eslocura and I can only assume that you ask, because it was already being planned. I think that any Dagromm Day would have to include a large cook out/barbecue, because I like to chill at the grill and show my skill which is totally ill. A frisbee football tournament would be called for, because it would be a physical activity that doesn’t require too much athleticism and is exactly the kind of thing I excel at. Everyone would be required to walk around in only their bathing suits all day whether they live near water or not. This might not be a pretty sight every where, but it would be where ever I am!

2) This isn't an original question but I like it, so am using it. If you could meet one person from any era, who would it be and what would you ask him or her?

I’ve actually never been asked this question and there are several people through out history that I admire. Ben Franklin and Mark Twain both come to mind as being great and creative minds. J. K. Rowling would be fun to meet since I’m such a Harry Potter fan. Ultimately, I decided on Jenna Jameson. Besides being a parent like me; she’s rich, hot, and is a major player in the adult entertainment industry. All are things that I aspire to. I’d stand back, give her the look, and ask, “Would ya?”

3) As a family man, what words of wisdom or traits do you hope to teach your children?

I hope my kids learn about responsibility, compassion, problem solving, and confidence in their own potential. If they learn those things then I will feel successful as a parent.

4) Rumor has it that the "crotch wizards" are being closely monitored by special forces, with possible arrests imminent. Do you jump ship and take an "every wizard for himself stand" or go with "no man left behind" and why?

There is no question that any one of us would abandon ship at the slightest sign of trouble. Cyber D would be the one most likely to try and trip us on his way out the door. There is an old saying that when you and your friend are out camping in the woods and are attacked by an enraged bear. You don’t have to be able to out run the bear. You just have to be able to outrun your friend.

Why? Because as much as we all like each other we would also take pride in being the last living Crotch Wizard. I’ve already had my t-shirt printed up with that on it and prepared eulogies for the others. (Fingers crossed)

5) You found a magic mirror, it has the ability to let you see your future, would you want to see what it holds, and why or why not?

Without a doubt, I would look. The chance that it might help me to change things for the better would be to great a motivation. Even though it would show sad times I think it would also make several instances less scary, because I would know that things turn out ok.

2007-09-26T10:41:00.000-05:00

Girls Soccer Update

Since I updated the boy's football yesterday, I thought I would update on the girl's soccer. My daughter is playing with two teams this season. The rec team which I coach and the Academy team which I relax and watch. They play different formats and there is only one other girl which is on both teams.

Our rec team started practicing over a month ago and we participated in a local tournament prior to the start of the season. It was a good experience, which is what people that get their asses kicked say to make themselves feel better. The truth is we are a third division that was playing a bunch of first division teams and the difference was noticeable. By the last game we were playing with more fire though and went into half time tied 1-1. In the end they pulled away, but the game was intense enough that I had to pull aside screaming parents from the other team after the game.

The tournament got the girls fired up and more focused after practice. It also showed me what things we needed to work on. We're now 3 games into our season and are undefeated. None of the games have been in any real question and although I don't know anything about our next opponent I think we have made great strides and have a very real chance of going 10-0. My daughter has played well. She's scored two goals and set up several others. The girls still have work to do, but look a lot more organized and confident out there. In our last game, I had to pull girls back from offense because we were up by so many goals.

The parents are of course thrilled that we've been looking so good, but I realize that we will likely be moving up a division or two next season and I don't want them to get overconfident. I also don't want the girls to get accustomed to being able to get away with sloppy play. They might be able to slide with it this season, but not against the good teams next time we play a tournament or move up. Oh well, it's a metered excitment.

The academy team has started out 0-2-1, but has been showing improvement each week. I know it's killing the coach that she only has one evening a week to work with the girls, but I'm ok with the results so far. Most of the girls are going to quit playing with their rec teams next season to concentrate on the Academy team, but I don't think that's going to be the case with us. My daughter likes her rec team, and I enjoy coaching too much. Besides I think that the best teacher for the game is playing the game so the more the better.

In the first game with the Academy team the girl looked uncomfortable and got herself out of position a number of times. By midway through the second game I could see that she was making the adjustments and was placing herself well and becoming more involved. In the third game she had an assist and took a couple of shots that went wide. One of them just barely. It's fun for me to see her continue to figure things out and progress out there. She is by far the littlest one on the field as she's playing up a year, but she's starting to assert herself in the game.

For anyone that wants to keep up with the Academy team you can find their results here. The academy team that she is on is called The Reds of Liverpool.

http://www.primetimefiles.com/tourn_sched.cfm?id=470

OK, I'm done with proud daddy talk.

2007-09-25T09:20:00.000-05:00

It's the Sport of Kings, Better Than Diamond Rings, Football

I've had lots of questions in regards to the kids and how their sports seasons are going. I'm glad to say that my son is enjoying football immensely and really considers himself a football player now. The constant workouts have gotten him into good shape, his team has made him feel wlecome and his coaches have been demanding but encouraging.

His team is loaded and is certainly one of the best teams in the league. Currently they're in first place at 5-0. Their defense only this week actually gave up some points. Prior to that the only touchdown was from an interception.

The first game of the season started off roughly for the boy, but he's made progress since then. Game one began like this.
Kick to the other team.
Defense holds the other team from getting a first down and the offense takes the field. (The boy plays offensive line)
1st play for the offense, whistled dead, flags fly, False Start offense, Coach yells, "Dagromm!!!!" I sink a little bit into my place on the bleachers.
2nd play for the offense, whistled dead, flags fly, False Start offense, Coach yells, "Dagromm!!!!" I sink further down into the bleachers. The boy gets pulled and his replacement goes in.
3rd play for the offense, whistled dead, flags fly, False Start offense, I cheer maniacally for the kid that isn't mine that got the penalty. The boy gets sent back in.
4th play for the offense, whistled dead, flags fly, False Start offense, Coach yells, "Dagromm!!!!" I deflate again.
5th play for the offense, they get the play off, the running back breaks free. The defense which has by this time been lulled to sleep doesn't react in time. Touchdown.

I heard the Dagromm name yelled out about five more times that game. Not for more penalties, but for not having his shoes tied, or for failing to go on the field because he was too busy staring at the cheerleaders that were standing directly behind the bench. When the lead got insurmountable in the fourth, I finally exhaled and was able to enjoy myself.

Each week has been been better and he hasn't had a penalty the last couple of games. For anyone that would like to keep up with how the team is doing or is in the NoTex area and wants to come by and watch them play then here is the website.

http://www.lewisvillepeeweefootball.com/

He is in the 11-12 age group and his team name is the Colts. They usually update the scores from the previous Sunday late in the week, so although it says 4-0, they are actually 5-0. I think there's also a link on there somewhere to the team website, but I haven't looked for it yet.

Late addition - I just looked at the team Myspace page. Here it is for those interested in seeing some of the pics from their Homecoming this last weekend.

http://www.myspace.com/lfacolts2007

2007-09-24T16:24:00.000-05:00

And at long last we reach the conclusion my friends. When we left off the story of the tumultuous weekend that Q and I shared as our alter egos (Rod Ecstasy and Skip McBoner) the sound of approaching sirens could be heard outside of the blood spattered warehouse where we found ourselves. Skip was kneeling over the headless corpse of Barbara Bush sobbing uncontrollably, and apparently under the mistaken impression that she was Lady Bird Johnson. So I give you the thrilling and heart wrenching conclusion.

Part 24

The Big Send Off

We'd been set up and I knew it. The events of the past 36 hours swam through my head in a dizzying blur. Possibly it was the after effects of the mickey that I was still feeling. Regardless the feds were closing in and it was a perfect trap. We were done for. I tried to get Skip to help me figure something out, but all he could do was whimper and keep repeating, "I'm so sorry Ladybird. You're a hero to me."

I steeled myself for what I knew I must do. I could hear the brakes squealing outside and the cars coming to a stop. Any minute they would be storming inside. I walked around the room and slowly pulled the police issued Beretta M9-92FS pistol from my waist band. I placed the barrel to the back of Skip's skull and thought momentarily about Of Mice and Men. "Don't worry Skip. We'll raise bunnies, and there won't ever be any trouble," I whispered. The gun recoiled sharply as I unloaded 5 quick shots into my friend. Then quicker than a greased panther I placed the gun into what was left of his burned and mangled hand.

As the federal agents burst through the door I threw up my hands and yelled, "Don't shoot. Don't shoot!!! He was crazy. Murder suicide!!! Murder suicide!!!! It's real popular now a days!! So that's what he did! Blame video games not me!!!" Unfortunately as I raised my hands the tattered remains of my Kevlar vest lifted far enough for the feds to see the plastic explosive that I still had strapped to my torso. My last few moments on earth were spent thinking how Butch and Sundance went out better than George and Lennie and how I wish that had occurred to me earlier. The bullets riddled my body at that moment and my meticulously chiseled physique was torn asunder. It actually might have been torn some other way, but I don't any other way in which things are torn, except asunder.

2007-08-23T11:54:00.000-05:00

We Apologize for The Interruption

Life has gotten hectic. You will be returned to your regularly scheduled program shortly.

2007-08-21T23:44:00.000-05:00

I will now continue the telling of the epic travels that Q and I underwent this weekend past. We traveled into the wee hours of the night finally arriving in our destination, Shreveport by cover of darkness. As we did so we shed our normal lives to travel as our alternate persona's Ecstasy and McBoner. I was successfully laying my game down when I saw my compatriot in obvious distress. Thus I give you:

Confessions Part II

The Travails of Rod and Skip. Two Men. One Mission.

I hurried across the packed club to Skip's side. The crowd parted before me like the Red Sea for Moses, such is the respect that Rod Ecstasy commands. As I approached I saw where his glazed over gaze was looking. Standing on the other side of the club beyond the sea of writhing bodies was a woman unlike any other. She had an exotic look, as if every nation of the world had sacrificed their most beautiful women to a mad experiment that would combine them all. Who ever the Dr. Frankenstein was that concocted this woman in his lab was surely a genius.

"What's wrong Skip?" I asked. "It's time to make your move". Skip couldn't answer me though, all he could do was give that "deer in headlights" look and shake his head. I tried to break through, "This isn't a question of should you. You have to". He merely looked pleadingly at me at and said he couldn't. He had met his match. I assumed that meant he was out of money or that she was too expensive. "That's loser talk man!!! Skip McBoner and Rod Ecstasy are not losers! Do you think I could have accumulated such a vast fortune and become an industrialist magnate if I was scared to take chances? No. And you....you couldn't have traveled the world rescuing invaluable treasures from the booby trapped tombs where they lie if you were scared to make a move! This is going to happen."

Skip looked at me and as our eyes met they turned to steely resolve. He knew what had to come next. We had learned long ago from Maverick in Top Gun that to get a woman as foxy as Kelly McGillis all you had to do was sing. It was an undeniable truth. It is an aphrodisiac so strong that it cannot be resisted. Much like Funky Cold Medina.

We took the microphone and the lights dimmed across the room except where we stood. The DJ spoke over the awed crowd, "Tonight we have a special group that is going to perform for you. First I'd like to introduce Rod Ecstasy". There was a smattering of applause. They couldn't believe that it was really me. I knew they would tell their kids and grand kids about this one day. The DJ continued, "Performing with him is Rod McEcstasy." What the fuck? Skip just walked on up as if nothing had happened.

"No! No! He's not Rod McEcstasy! He's Skip McBoner! I'm Rod Ecstasy."

The DJ wanted to be a dick, "The card says McEcstasy. let's give it up for them".

"Well the card's wrong. I'm Rod Ecstasy!! Me!!" I protested as the crowd looked on clearly getting confused. I tried to straighten it out for everyone but the music began. What I had requested was You Lost That Lovin Feelin' by the Righteous Brothers. What I got was Make it Rain by Fat Joe. This DJ obviously was confused. No matter. I hit the ground running and Skip joined in on the chorus:

Yeah, I'm in this bitch for terror
Got a handful of stacks
Better grab an umbrella
I make it rain, I make it rain

Then in a moment of serendipity Skip and the DJ instinctively changed tunes the second time through the chorus. As soon as we reached the word umbrella, Skip immediately twice echoed the last two syllables and took it into Rihanna's Umbrella. This left me singing Chris Brown's part. Not exactly the partner I would have chosen for this song but as we closed out the song we were met with a calamitous round of applause. I knew it was a success even as Skip and I made our way towards his exotic prize and my waiting bronzed goddess. We weren't past all of the hurdles yet though and the next one was making a beeline towards us with heart full of hate.

2007-08-20T22:38:00.000-05:00

So, I've gotten about 239 e-mails asking me about the weekend trip with Q. Most of them were from Q's mom who doesn't trust his version of events. Some of them were from Federal Agents trying to get me to admit too much. Still others were from you the concerned and loving Blog United Nations. I received e-mails from as near as fellow North Texans to as far away as South Texas. So wait no longer, sit back and I will tell you of a journey so harrowing and momentous it could only be called...

The Opus of Ecstasy and McBoner

It began on Friday evening as I met Q at his fortress on the corner. I don't know if he has ever mentioned this, but the Q family are reputed land barons in North Texas and so there was plenty of room for me to leave my Mustang dripping oil while we were away. Q was antsy to get going. I had almost made it to the door with my bag in hand when he came bursting out the other way pointing to his fleet of vehicles. He chose a shiny SUV. Nice but subdued so as not to garner too much attention. Good choice.

We set a course for Shreveport, Louisiana aka Cajun Vegas. It was a few hours of driving before we approached the state line and darkness had already fallen. As we entered Waskom we pulled into the Dairy Queen parking lot. Just a few scant miles from the state border. We pulled out our wallets and slid the I.D.s from their protective sleeves. They went into the glove compartment along with my wedding ring and Q's "Wham #1 Fan" button that he almost always wears. We changed clothes. Me into my silk shirt and pinstripe suit. Q into his tweed jacket, tie, and corduroy pants. As he placed his worn leather hat upon his head the transformation was complete. We were no longer Dagromm and Q. We had assumed the identities that we always do when we cross state lines. I became Rod Ecstasy, playboy billionaire, and industrialist magnate. Q as always was Skip McBoner, archaeologist adventurer and world traveler.

Before anyone could see what we had done we slipped from the shadows and proceeded across the border to the state with no remorse, Louisiana. It was about 11:00 as we approached the riverfront where all of the happening clubs are. We passed the Casinos, that could wait, and went to a club called Kokopellis. It was full to the brim, but there's always room when Rod and Skip are at the door.

As we entered I quickly spotted a bronzed beauty eyeballing me from the bar. Normally I would shun such advances, but Rod Ecstasy doesn't let opportunities pass him by. Rod Ecstasy lives every moment to the fullest. I sat next to her and ordered a drink and one for the lady. While the buxom barmaid filled our orders I introduced myself.

"Hi there, I'm Rod Ecstasy, playboy billionaire and industrialist magnate. You've probably heard of me. I just happen to be in town for a few days before I fly out to the Orient to close a big business deal. I live for the moment. How about you?" Smooth. She was gobbling up what I was setting down.

The barmaid returned with our drinks and a bill for $17.50. I pulled my wallet out and looked at the expectant server with the eyes of my gorgeous target on me, "You do take Diner's Club right? No?????? Well, I guess I'll have to pay with my check card from my untraceable Swiss Bank account. What, you don't take that either?" I quickly empty my glass. " You see I just arrived into the country and don't have much American money on me. If you take Russian rubles then I've got enough on me to pay for the drinks and the rest of the club on top of that." The saucy bartender shoots something back at me about not accepting rubles and some nonsense about a currency called "Euros". I just shrug and turn to my ardent admirer. "If you can cover this, I guarantee I'll make it up to you on my private jet". She looks at me in disbelief. Obviously she can't believe her own good luck. She's a smart girl though and pays for the drinks. An investment in her future if you will.

As I chat to the lady of the night my gaze wanders across the room and something is dreadfully wrong. Where is my companion? I finally spotted him standing in a corner looking thunderstruck. I let my lady know that I have to check on my friend and that I'll be right back...

2007-08-17T09:42:00.000-05:00

This is Why, This is Why, This is Why I'm Hot

Hot excited? Hot sexy? Hot happening? Hell yeah!

I've continued to keep up the momentum from Susan's ten pound challenge and have exceeded my target. That's how I do. I've now lost over thirteen pounds and the jeans that had gotten too uncomfortably tight now fit very comfortably again. My diet on a normal workday goes something like this.

Breakfast - Fruit (banana, pear, plum, whatever I have on hand at the time)
Mid-morning snack - Dry cereal and cranberries. Right now the cereal is Special K, but it varies with what's on sale.
Lunch-some sort of protein drink. I've gotten used to the Myoplex Light.
Afternoon snack - Snickers Energy Bar or crackers or raisins.
Dinner - Grilled meat, veggies.

I don't kill myself with the diet. It does vary and I don't deny myself something I want. When people at the office bring in stuff (donuts, kolaches, etc.) I'll still help myself, but I monitor how much I take. I also am a less disciplined on weekends and really whenever I feel like it, but so far I haven't had much trouble sticking to this.

Anyway, I've gotten leaner and am feeling pretty good about it.

Shifting gears roughly, soccer practices have geared back up this week. We've got three new girls on the team, all with previous experience and from what I've seen so far we're going to be a tough team to beat. I'm upset with the league about not placing one of our returning players back with us that registered during late registration saying that they had alreaady filled her spot. We were willing as a team to play up a year to have more roster spots, but in the end the league pulled the rug out from us on that one too. So we will have to wait a season or two to get her back. I'm so excited about getting this season going and finally getting to see the girls in action and figuring out what they need to work on. My daughter is also excited, because she loves to compete and recognizes that the team is getting better.

Hear that? That's the transmission trying to handle me very poorly dropping the clutch and shifting gears again. The boy got his football jersey last night. My wife says that he was looking anxious when they were handing them out and was possibly afraid he wasn't going to get one. He was proud of his jersey with the Dagromm name on the back. I admit they look nice. I'm sorely disappointed that they've scheduled a "preseason game" this weekend that I will miss. I am excited however about my weekend plans. Q and I have our annual trip to Shreveport scheduled already and we can't disappoint the bookies! Cyber D used to come with us every year, but he has submitted to the dominating authority of his wife and doesn't come any more. I on the other hand retain my manhood and go where I please when I please!

Dagromm Out!!!!!

2007-08-14T12:40:00.000-05:00

Some Decisions

I've made a few decisions that I thought I'd share. First of all Lasic surgery is for losers. I like contacts and glasses. I get to change up my look. Sometimes I look like the professor with the smokin' hot bod. Other times I'm the sporty looking guy with the smokin' hot bod. So, you can keep your stupid Lasic surgery. I don't need it.

Next, big screen hi-def plasma T.V.'s suck. It totally ruins the look of your room when you can't have that massive space consuming entertainment center. Where are you gonna store all of those old VHS tapes??? Sure you could still put the T.V. on an entertainment center, but then you're just being stupid. So they suck.

Third, new luxury cars BLOW. Why would you want to drive some comfy shiny piece of crap when you could be like a real American and drive a shitty old Mustang? I believe that every trip should be an adventure and there's no bigger adventure then not knowing if you're going to make it to your destination every time you strap the seat belt on. So you can keep your Cadillacs, Mercedes, BMW's, etc. I'm not interested.

Lobster dinners at fancy restaraunts are awful. Who would want that? Not me, I tell you.

Playstation 3's? Garbage.

Stays at resorts and spas? Crap.

Having people cook, clean, do your lawn? Stupid. Really really stupid. Just so stupid!!!

2007-08-13T09:24:00.001-05:00

A Bunny Pic

I took this shot a while back on with the Mint Chocolate by LG phone that I carry. I know how the group likes their bunny pictures and thought of my blog friends when I was at the costume shop and saw this.

Why was I at the costume shop? Don't judge me!

2007-08-10T08:19:00.000-05:00

Dyn-o-mite!!!

If you like your westerns with a Muy Thai twist then this movie is for you. Loads of action scenes, the likes of which seem to make perfect sense in foreign movies. As opposed to other westerns in which the hero rides in on a huge white stallion, this hero rides in standing on a rocket! He then commits to kicking so much ass that this movie can't help but be a winner.

Mix in a villainous tractor dealer, mystics with magical powers, and the threat of a cannibalistic evil henchman and this movie has all of the ingredients for a recurring franchise. I know what you're thinking, "This sounds exactly like Unforgiven", but trust me it's different.

So, when you get the chance add Dynamite Warrior to your online movie que, get your curry noodles ready, sit back and enjoy. This movie earns a solid A-.

2007-08-09T09:45:00.000-05:00

If Your Actions Inspire Others

Well blog folk, I have to admit that I am impressed and somewhat concerned that I have inspired so many of you to take up the dangerous pastime of storm chasing. I have received numerous e-mails from around the world with your own pictures of Mother Nature dressed in her most wicked of clubbing clothes bringing her wrath down upon the world. I just urge you all to consider your own safety first and don't feel that you have to live up to my example of daring. It's too much to attempt.

The first picture comes from the D.C. area. It appears that the photographer has taken to higher ground to get this pic which of course has it's pros and cons. I myself prefer to stay at "ground zero" for my pictures, but I don't fault anyone for looking for protective cover.

The next picture comes courtesy of Eslocura. I know that Cyber D protested this picture saying that the American government had put a stop to Puerto Rico getting rainbows anymore. As soon as he saw it he was on the phone calling Congressman and Senators to try and get this idea enacted.

2007-08-08T08:25:00.001-05:00

Struggling

The boy has completed 1 1/2 weeks of practice for football now. The first week was all conditioning and basics. This week has been in full gear with hitting. Practice #1 was fine. The second practice was fine as well. The third practice he lost his helmet at the field somewhere. Not a good night for the boy as he had to endure some Dagrommian fury at it's worst. The fourth practice his coach brought the helmet which he had found, and the boy had to run more laps than any football player, ever. Punishment for losing his helmet and for not paying enough attention to the drills. The fifth practice was full contact and had some tackling/hitting drills. The boy got lit up. Repeatedly. He made one tackle to which everyone really cheered him. Otherwise he was blown up by the other kids. Everything you could do wrong in trying to tackle someone he did. Poor form, too high, tentative, lack of power. It looked painful. Repeatedly. Yesterday he made two tackles at practice and felt that he did better. He still got blown up a lot. The team gave him an ovation at the end of practice for his effort. The coach told him that if he didn't quit before the first game then he would buy him dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Now he's motivated. Hell, if I'd thought of it I'd have told the kid to attack the others like they were made of mole sauce. He loves himself some Mexican food.

Two more practices to go this week. Here's hoping he figures it out before he gets himself killed.

2007-08-03T21:57:00.000-05:00

If I Ever Go To Prison (again)...

let it please be in the Philipines.

2007-08-03T10:47:00.000-05:00

Ahhhh Yes. The Old Make a Movie Out of a Syndicated TV Show Trick!

I was all set to blog about any number of different ideas and notes that I've been meaning to get to for a while when I stumbled across this news last night and had to look for more information.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0425061/

This has potential to be really good or really terrible. I like the cast so far, I'm just worried about the writing/directing.

2007-08-02T09:22:00.000-05:00

Night Time Thoughts

I've stated before that I believe that we all have moments of clarity when the great morass of daily life clears and we suddenly can see things for what they truly are. The mist parts and in seeing the truth we become strong. These moments are sometimes accompanied with great surges of thought, feeling, or determination.

I had one of those moments last night as a I lay in bed. Something about laying in the darkness, with the sheets only partially covering me, and the overhead fan sending waves of air to brush my skin put my mind and heart traveling down the path to clarity. As I said, these moments are accompanied by different thoughts and feelings that have probably been bottled up or obscured for any length of time. I find at these times that the things that are truly important to me come to the forefront of my thought. I realize how grateful I should be for these things and people.

As I lay there many of thoughts took the form of a poem in my head. This happens frome time to time, and I almost never share them. Poems are a very personal form of art and expression. People get very judgemental with things like that and I tend not to want to expose my emotions to these criticisms. I have the utmost respect for those that are brave enough to do this. I find that I am just as judgemental as those I fear, but I credit the individual for being strong enough to put it out there. So it with hesitancy and trepidation that I share with you the poem that flooded my thoughts as I lay in bed last night. If you feel that you will not be able to read it without caustic sentiment or simply don't want to see this side of me then by all means do not proceed.

Epiphany

I know that you are not good for me.

You are a desire

And yet you flood my mind.

I dream of embracing you.

That moment when my lips make contact

and the universe explodes.

Even though you are not here

I imagine your essence and

your scent seems to linger in the air.

The wait for morning is agony.

I long for the time when I can reach out and make contact.

I know that I am not the only one who has eyes for you.

Louche contemplations.

There are others who will get to you before me.

I've come to grips with that,

But I cannot deny what I know in my heart.

I need you.

And so I will stand in line if need be.

I will wait for my opportunity.

And when that time comes and

Those quizzical eyes turn to me.

My stomach will churn with anticipation and

I will proudly announce to the world

That I will wait no longer for you

Meatball Sub.

2007-07-31T16:47:00.000-05:00

Information You Need To Know

Here at the House of Dagromm, we try to keep our readers up to date with the latest information so that they can live the most complete lives possible. According to calorie-count.com it takes two hours of vigorous sexual activity to burn off one can of coke. http://www.calorie-count.com/calories/activity/368.html

FYI, I'm about to consume a twenty four pack of coke.

2007-07-30T08:26:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Texas Football

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before on the blog or not, but my 11 year old son has decided that he wanted to play tackle football this year. On one hand this isn't a huge surprise because he has shown interest in it previously when he was playing soccer and we shared the youth football team that was all in pads and helmets. On the other hand it is surprising, because I'm not sure that he has ever watched more than twenty minutes of football his entire life combined. I don't think he can name more than two positions or tell you how the game is scored. He did play some flag football through the YMCA a while back, and maybe he has some lingering affection from that time.

So this weekend he had try outs for youth football. This was the final weekend for tryouts. It lasts three weeks to get all of the kids in. Now don't get me wrong everybody gets put on a team, but this is Texas and we apparently take 6th grade football pretty damn seriously. Try outs lasted two hours Saturday. After registering, he was weighed in, interviewed by coaches of every team individually, ran a 40 yard dash in which his time was announced to the crowd (yes, the crowd), caught a pass, threw a pass, tackled a dummy, and then was finally sent on his way. The next day the coaches from the different teams get together and draft their teams. They only get to keep two kids from the previous year so I guess the teams change regularly.

Much to my dismay, I've also come to find out that the teams practice two hours a day four days a week. I'm having a lot of trouble with this time commitment that they are expecting. I already know my kid's going to have to miss practice every Tuesday for dance class. I guess I'll have that conversation with the coach today, as practices and conditioning are already starting. I might not actually mention the words "ballet" or "jazz dance".

2007-07-27T08:31:00.000-05:00

More Text Pics

Since there's been such a ground swell of interest about the text messages and pictures that get shared between the Crotch Wizards I thought that I would pull back the curtain, as they say, and give the fans a glimpse at the never before seen inner workings of the group. In this House of Dagromm exclusive you the normal human mortal will get a chance to permeate some of the secret mechanisms that transpire between the Crotch Wizards. The two text message pics that you will see were sent by Dagromm himself by cell phone to one of his lieutenants in the Crotch Wizards, Q. The reason? It's hard to say, but it is suspected that Q is the only one of the group whose phone is set up to receive the pictures.

The first one was sent in June.

Big Kisses?

The second one was sent on July 12th of this year.

Thinking of you.

Much like the mystery surrounding Stone Henge and Easter Island, people will speculate for years what the ramifications of these messages truly are. Do they allude to knowledge of a higher power? Are they part of some secret language or code that can't be unlocked without the discovery of a Rosetta Stone? Does this mean there is intelligent life on other planets? Will David Faustino ever get another television show?

The world may never know.

2007-07-26T08:23:00.000-05:00

What Season Is It?

Well summer obviously, but it is also baseball season. It's the beginning of football preseason. Very very close to soccer season. And for Q, it's stalking season. I've been hearing the adds on the radio for what I know is going to be an irrestable draw for the Q....

That's right the ever so sweet and clean former star of Trading Spaces is in NoTex singing show tunes. Two of Q's biggest obsessions; Paige Davis and show tunes. This combination will be like cocaine to an addict like Q.

2007-07-23T09:04:00.000-05:00

To Answer Nina's Question

I finished the book last night. I'm going to be somewhat busy this morning, but anybody who wants to talk about it, we can discuss in the comments section. For those who don't want to read spoilers then please avoid the comments section. I'm talking to you Gyuss and Cyber D.

2007-07-19T11:54:00.001-05:00

A Few Tidbits That Don't Individually Rank Needing Their Own Blog Posts

I went to a minor league ball game with my son, my dad, and Q the other day and had a great time. It's one of the perks of the new job, that I get tickets once in a while for the games with a parking pass that is right next to the stadium and free food and drinks. Minor league games attract a different crowd than major league games (read: more women) and the set up in Frisco is really top notch. The stadium is really nice and they have lots of entertainment in between innings. My favorite part was when my dad and son started slam dancing to Take Me Out To The Ball Game during the 7th inning stretch. The fireworks show afterwards was good too.

It's almost soccer season again and I am getting ramped up. I received an e-mail from the parent of a former player. Her daughter has decided that she wants to play soccer again and wants to be back on my team. I was thrilled when I got the message. She was one of our weaker players, but I feel really good that she wanted to come back and especially wanted to come back to my team.

My son wants to take up pee wee football. Try outs are next weekend. I'm scared to death, but I'm proud of him for giving it a shot.

I've now settled on a title for the film about my life story. It will tentatively be titled, "Suburban Pimp". I am thinking that when the beginning credits roll they will be accompanied by the Sugar Hill Gang's "Apache".

2007-07-18T09:04:00.000-05:00

Two more days until I go to great lengths to shut myself off from the outside world and devour the last Harry Potter book. I've been preparing for months now. Over the last three months I've re-read the entire series and watched several of the movies so that I was properly primed for the last installment.

Now, I am ready to make some predictions for the final book. If you don't like to speculate on such things then don't read any further. I wouldn't call these spoilers by any means as J.K. Rowling has a proven track record of out thinking me.

Let's start with Dumbledore is alive. At first I felt very strongly that he was dead, because if he is indeed dead then Jo has said explicitly that there is no coming back. I spoke with Pokiman about it and so I will add his input too, because I think he brought up some good points. So here is the corroborating set up. In the first Potions lessons' in book 1 & 5 numerous potions were named. One of them was named in both lessons. It is also the only one that hasn't made an appearance in the books one way or the other the entire time. That potion is the Draught of Living Death which produces a powerful sleeping potion. So the set up was complete to fake a death. If Voldemort thought he was dead then Draco would be safe and Dumbledore would want that.

The set up continued with the discussion of non-verbal spells. A decent amount of time was spent on explaining them and giving them due notice. This never came to fruition in this book either. Jo doesn't normally leave loose threads or waste time writing about something that has no consequence. I think however it did come into play. We just weren't made aware of it.

When Snape performed the killing curse, Dumbledore was blasted from the top of the tower, but that is not what the Avada Kedavra does. When the Avada Kedavra is performed then the people just fall dead where they are with no sign of anything having been done. So it would seem that Snape actually performed a different spell nonverbally and just said the words for the killing curse. This would make it appear that Dumbledore was killed and get him safely out of the way of the Death Eaters.

As far as falling to his death from the top of the tower I don't think that was the case either. We already know of about half a dozen flying things in and around Hogwarts that could have caught/saved Dumbledore. There are brooms, thestrals, the Ford Anglia, Sirius Black's motorcycle, flying carpets, Fawkes, and the Wingardium Leviosa charm.

Of course if all of this is true then I am also making the prediction that Snape is not on the side of Voldemort. For this I would point to the fact that Snape has not killed Harry or any of his friends this entire time. I think we will find out why Dumbledore trusted him when nobody else did and that he will be vindicated. Even after supposedly killing Dumbledore he didn't try to hurt Harry even thought htey were in a direct conflict.

I haven't heard any spculation on this next part, but this hit me a little while back. We know that Voldemort is a descendent of Salazar Slytherin. It has been inferred that Harry might be a descendent of Gryffindor as his parents lived in Godric's Hollow and he was able to pull the sword from the sorting hat. Is it possible then that his friends are also descendents of famous wizards? Could Hermione be from the line of Ravenclaw and Ron from Hufflepuff? They certainly display the qualities that those houses are known for. I don't have any proof to support those ideas, but I think it's an interesting thought.

R.A.B. could be Regulus, Sirius Black's brother, but could also be the missing partner from Borgin and Burkes. The owners of the dark wizard shop would be in prime position to know what Voldemort was up to. They also were the only other people we heard of that knew about the now missing locket. This could be the reason that we've only ever seen one of the owners of the shop as the other one was killed. The locket itself does seem to be in Grimmauld Place as there is mention of a heavy locket during the cleaning of the house.

As far as who lives and dies. I don't know. I expect that Voldemort must die. I don't know about anyone else. Neville and the Weasley family seem like prime targets for death. Luna and Cho have outside shots of getting killed as well. I don't know whether the final conflict will be a large scale battle or a more intimate affair, but I'm full of anticipation waiting for Friday night.

2007-07-17T08:28:00.001-05:00

A Dangerous Hobby

I've taken up a new hobby over the last few months that I thought I would share with everyone. I've taken up storm chasing. For those who don't know storm chasing is the hobby where instead of moving away from storms I follow them to try and get as close as I can to the action and maybe try to get some good pictures of the action. In the tornado alley of North Texas this can get pretty hairy. If you've ever watched the movie Twister then you know what I'm talking about.

There are different types of storm chasers. Just like everything else different things appeal to different people. Some times geography, etc. come into play as well. Some people follow hurricanes, some tornados, some people even look for tsunamis and hail storms. We're all basically the same though. We accept the inherent danger in what we do and forge ahead because of our passion.

I recently asked Q to help me to get some of my pictures from my chsing off of my phone and onto the computer so that I can share them with you, my extended blog family. He has obliged and now I will share a couple with you. Enjoy.

This first one was a picture I took a couple of months ago. After we were hit by what seemed to be the 100th rain of the summer. I don't think the picture truly conveys the immense size of what I was facing or how fully formed it was. That's one of the challenges of storm chasing though, so I'm still proud of what I got.

The second picture was taken while I was in hot pursuit. As you can see the local law enforcement was trying to keep people away for their own safety. This bad boy ranked as an F-4 class rainbow and it's amazing that I was able to get this close to it.

2007-07-16T11:31:00.000-05:00

The Greatest and Best Rap Group of All Time

I did a lot of driving this weekend. And when I do a lot of driving I do a lot of thinking. And when I do a lot of thinking I think about how I would construct the greatest rap group ever. Then I think about all the fly lyrics and def beats we would drop. My picks to make up my super group of rap would include

Chuck D

Chuck D has probably the best voice of any rapper ever. It's clear and commanding. He has already been part of one of the best rap groups ever and this would be the opportunity to get to even greater heights.

Mike D

As a member of the Beastie Boys for the last 20 years. Mike has helped to create new sounds and styles that have kept them relavant far longer than most musical performers.

Heavy D

Every rap group needs a guy that can spit lyrics at a faster pace than most mere mortals. The diddly diddly diddly D is exactly the guy to do it for the greatest rap group of all time.

D-12

Eminem put this group together and I think we can all agree that he knows a little something about rap. Additionally these guys will add to the fear factor that rap groups need to keep the suckas straight.

Deelight

Completely bad ass rap groups have a chick to kick out some vocals for their hype hooks (C&C Music Factory?). Deelight has made a career out of doing just that.

Tenacious D

This awesome power of a rap group would certainly want to do some rap/metal crossover stuff and adding Tenacious D would allow them to do just that.

There it is. I don't think it gets any better than that. Sorry Cyber D. You didn't make the cut.

2007-07-16T09:04:00.000-05:00

Once More With Feeling

Back by Popular Demand, we will play

Who Am I

The rules are the same as last time. I will post a quote and you get to guess in the comments section. We'll see if anyone besides Q knows this one.

Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here, this was my dream, my wish, and it didn't come true. So I'm takin' it back. I'm takin' 'em all back.

This one is probably pretty easy too. I guess we'll see.

2007-07-13T08:58:00.000-05:00

Who am I?

It's been awhile since we played thise guessing game on the blog. So in this game I will give you the clues and you (the lucky reader) get to take guesses in comments section. This time around I am going to change things up and I want you to name the fictional character that said these lines:

And look. Fish. The fish eat the fish food, and the shark eats the fish, but nobody eats a shark.

See, this is Pez.Candy. You see, you eat it. You put the candy in here, and when you lift the head, the candy comes out. You want some?

This is a peanut. You eat it. But you can't eat this one 'cause this is fake.

This is money. You see? We put the money in the peanut. You see. Bank.

So there you are. Take your guesses. I think one of you super smart readers will probably get this pretty quickly.

2007-07-12T14:36:00.000-05:00

Hurry Up and Weight

That's what my summer up to this point has felt like. To much to do, not enough time, and crummy weather that hinders decisions and capabilities. The rain that has beset North Texas for the last month has pushed back plans including my own exercise plans. Even with hardly having any opportunities to work out and swim I was glad to find that I've lost an additional 3 pounds. I'm super excited as I'm now just 1.82 pounds from sheer physical perfection. I've been practicing my display poses in front of the bathroom mirror already. It looks awesome.

The rain has also caused a plethora of mosquitos. Every time I go out to grill or practice soccer I get multitudes of bites all over my legs. Luckily for me, I heal from mosquito bites within an hour and they don't linger. Just the same it's overly annoying and there are few things in the world that I hate more than mosquitos. Some of those things are Gyuss Baaltar, and....... Well Gyuss Baaltar.

2007-07-11T10:24:00.000-05:00

Muchos Movies

Summertime is movie time so I will indulge you/me with a little more exposition on the subject.

The first is a movie that once again I beat Gyuss to seeing. I actually saw it a couple of weeks ago with the family. It's probably one of the most anticipated movies of the year and you've probably been surprised not to see a review of it already. The movie that I am speaking of is of course Nancy Drew. This movie stars Emma Roberts who looks like an Anne Hathaway starter kit. It tries to play up Nancy as an ideal from another time who is somewhat out of place in current day, but still of course comes out on top. It just doesn't do it as successfully as previous movies like the Brady Bunch Movie. In fact I'm now thinking that I will enjoy the Hardy Boys Movie more. This movie was not that funny, cute, or mysterious but it did have Rachel Leigh Cook and that alone will get it an A-. I love you R.L.C. Call me.

The next movie was one I watched last night, Shooter. It's a movie that's got some moments of creativity and also got big glaring plot holes that are tough to overlook. It's a decent watch if you don't want to think too much and like playing 1st person shooter video games. The other plusses to the movie are that it it's pretty damning of the Bush Administration, it has Marky Mark, and probably best of all it has Rhona Mitra (Boston Legal, Ali G Indahouse). Those three things vault this movie to a strong A-. When ever I see her I think that she's wearing the "Keep it real" panties that she wore in Ali G. Is that just me? I love you Rhona. Call me.

Lastly is a movie that I will soon be renting. I haven't actually seen it yet, but I will of that you can be sure. Much like Transmorphers coming out on video in time to try and catch some of the Transformers spill over I have found the movie that is coming out for rent just in time to catch some of the Harry Potter spill over. Before Rupert Grint landed the set-for-life pay day playing the best friend of Harry Potter he starred in Thunderpants playing the best friend of a kid that farts a lot. This movie also has Ned Beatty and Paul Giamatti. Here is the plot outline from IMDB. An 11-year-old boy's amazing ability to break wind leads him first to fame and then to death row, before it helps him to fulfill his ambition of becoming an astronaut. That gets a pre-emptive A-. I love you Rupert. Call me.

2007-07-05T14:03:00.001-05:00

Which ElfQuest Character Are You? (FEMALE)

You are Kahvi; the violent one!
Take this quiz!

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2007-07-05T12:34:00.000-05:00

A Day Earlier Than Most

July 3rd. Mark it down. The day that mi familia went to see Transformers. This means that I saw it a full day before some of my Blog counterparts. I'm not saying that makes me better or anything. It's just one of many things that makes me better. I can prove my claim too. While sitting in the theater waiting for the movie to start and perusing the crowd I sent the following text message to Q at 8:19 PM July 3rd: "Hot girls don't go to see Transformers". His response dated 8:20 PM July 3rd: "Hahahahahahaha. No shit! Nerdy guys do". So there it is Gyuss. 2nd place again.

Anyway on to the review. Pretty good. Not as good as the live action Transformers movie I made with my friend 's video camera when I was 11, but whatever. Maybe they didn't have my budget for black cat firecrackers. My daughter spent the entire time pointing out everybody in the movie that has also been on a Disney Channel show. There were four of them by her count. Shia LeBeouf was terrific in Even Stephens, awesome in Holes, outstanding in Charlie's Angels 2, and pretty good in this. He's a disarmingly funny actor.

In fact it's good enough that I might say this is the best Tyrese movie ever. I know that others will argue that 2 Fast 2 Furious was good 2, but I disagree.

Megan Fox is awfully pretty in this flick and so is Rachael Taylor as the really hot Australian that works for the U.S. Department of Defense. As if we'd ever let an Aussie inside our inner defenses. Those people were sent there because they're criminals. We're not that dumb.

So anyway where was I.....Oh yeah, Anthony Anderson looked good too, but I didn't like the Portis jersey he was sporting the whole time. That's going to date this movie pretty quickly. Ummmmm.....Jon Voight looked kinda good I guess. Man I need to kick this up a notch

Oh got it!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

The cars turn into robots, and apparently don't think to much of humans.

So that's an A-. I guess.

2007-07-03T11:36:00.000-05:00

I'm Dumbledore Bitches!!

You scored as Albus Dumbledore, Strong and powerful you admirably defend your world and your charges against those who would seek to harm them. However sometimes you can fail to do what you must because you care too much to cause suffering.

Albus Dumbledore

90%

Hermione Granger

85%

Remus Lupin

75%

Draco Malfoy

75%

Harry Potter

70%

Sirius Black

60%

Ron Weasley

60%

Severus Snape

55%

Lord Voldemort

45%

Ginny Weasley

40%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
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2007-07-03T10:49:00.000-05:00

Summer Blockbuster

I love this time of year! It's when Hollywood goes nuts and puts out spectacle they think that mankind would like to see for the reasonable freakshow price of $8.00 a ticket. It's also when every wannabe big time company puts out knock offs of all the big hype movies that are headed to the big screen. You can only imagine my excitement when I was in Blockbuster the other day and saw this...

Well I snatched it up as fast as I could. Nobody was going to beat me to this monstrosity. It didn't boast a big budget, an all star cast, or even decent reviews. What it did have was the quote, "It's like The Matrix, Aliens, and Starship Troopers rolled in one". Even for a person that openly will go out of his way to rent a movie that he thinks will be bad, this one was a stand out. It had everything. Poor writing. Poor acting. Shaky camera work. Really bad and inconsistent special effects. Bad editing. The sound obviously had some issues because the middle two-thirds sounded as if it had been dubbed in the producers' parents' bathroom and it didn't synch up to the action at all. The mouths were moving in a totally disjointed fashion in comparison to the sound. All in a mad rush to get it out the week before Transformers hits theaters.

If you like poorly put together movies then I would recommend this Blockbuster New Release! Dagromm gives it an A-.

On a side note my son, who was very eager by the way to see Transmorphers, recently wanted to watch Austin Powers. We capitulated and rented it online so that he could see it. I don't know what he had heard or what exactly he had expected, but everytime some slightly sexual scene would come on screen he would sit up attentively and say things like, "ok" and "here we go". It was really uncomfortable for me and Mrs. Dagromm. I finally called him out on it, said that I don't know wat he was expecting, but we weren't watching any freaky movies during dinner. It still makes me giggle.

2007-06-30T11:09:00.000-05:00

Mingle² - Online Dating

2007-06-29T08:58:00.000-05:00

The Unerring and Most Accurate Recollections of the Blogworthy Weekend Shared by the Crotch Wizards

Part 3

The third day was met in a groggy fashion as Cyber D and Q arrived at the House of Dagromm in the early hours of the morning. Gyuss, Pokiman, and I had already awoken. I severely burned from long shirtless hours in the sun. Pokiman and Gyuss severely burning from unprotected sex in a less than hygienic fashion.

Still we were excited to meet the days challenges head on. We all had visions of the everlasting glory that we would have for the next year if we could triumph in any of the days' events. Q had early success as the first competition was his strongest, Twister. In anything Q considers a contact sport he likes to bring the pain and with Gyuss, Poki, and myself being in weakened states we were little competition. Cyber D was much to fragile for Q's onslaught and this one was over before it ever truly began.
The next tournament was a closely contested battle for supremacy between Gyuss and myself. The Slip and Slide was pushed to its limits as we each tried to outduel each other. There has been some controversy as to what the final results of this contest were. Although I dominated the early goings on Gyuss was able to squeek out some success towards the end. In the end, nobody wanted to tell Gyuss he had ultimately lost.

We moved on to a game of survival, which may sound dangerous but when you hang with the Wizards you learn to thrive on danger. I won't go into details about the competition but I will say that it included shotguns, fire axes, explosives. I don't really remember who won this challenge. It wasn't me so I tried to forget about it.

We moved on to a challenge where we switched from the hunted to the hunter and no cheerleader was safe. For this we split into pairs and since there was an odd number of attendees I paired up with my son. I can't account for anyone else, but my son did well for his young age. He had tons of enthusiasm and was pleased that he was getting to join in on some manly fun. I think that Cyber D and Pokiman also did well. Gyuss and Q? Not so much.

Lastly, was the battle of knowledge. Sadly this was a lot less competitive than I would have expected. It came down to Q and myself. I was able to secure 1st runner up and Q won on a poor judges decision. They approved an incorrect answer as being "close enough". I'm not bitter or anything, but that shit isn't happening again! Whatever, I should've known Q would be fixed. What a bunch of a-holes!!!!

My family was great to put up with us the entire 14 hours that day. My son participated at points which was cool even if he was a little over enthusiastic at times. My daughter was cool and didn't raise a fit at being ignored all day. I think I've set her up for some really healthy relationships in the future.

2007-06-27T23:17:00.000-05:00

The Unerring Account of What Transpired on the Very Bloggish Weekend of the Quad Four

Part 2

The second day of the big weekend was spent in the company of minors. My kids. I chaperoned Gyuss as he escorted them to the water park. Gyuss wussed out and wore his shirt the whole time. Not me though. I was halfway from the parking lot to the front gate before my shirt came off. The splendor that is Dagromm was laid bare for the world. Glistening in the sun. Thank God I lost that two pounds from the weight loss challenge.

We rented a locker, I threw on some Joop, and the day was begun. The kids didn't back down from any challenge and Gyuss being the good godfather that he is took them on several things they probably shouldn't have been on. The girl rode a few things that she didn't meet the height requirements for as Gyuss would rush her on them before the employees could measure her. They even rode the ginormous suicide swing that flew out over the wave pool.

Gyuss also stepped up pretty well. He kept going past the point that I know that he was exhausted and even did a sled race against a guy that looked a lot like Professor Dumbledore. It was fairly awesome.

There was relatively little crowd the day we went which is good, because as I mentioned the shirt was off. We still got an eyeful of cute bikini wearing girls and Gyuss felt that he was being discrete in his looking by wearing dark glasses. I didn't point out to him that they could tell he was looking by the way his head would jerk violently when ever a cutie walked by. For my part I went through an entire bottle of Joop as I had to reapply it every time I got out of the pool. Eventually though it was time to leave. I was out of cologne and my crotch needed a break from wet clothes.

2007-06-26T12:21:00.000-05:00

The True and Unflinching Account of the Bloggity Weekend that was Shared By the Blog Foursome Known as the Quad

Part 1 - The Quad Frisbee Golf Celebrity Pro Am

The festivities really got rolling on June 14th, 2007 with the Quad Frisbee Golf Celebrity Pro Am. Gyuss was nonplussed to find that he had received Stephen Hawking as his partner. As awkward as this might have been on its' own it was made more so by the fact that Gyuss had very publicly vetoed Stephen's application for membership within the Quad. Most of us avoided talking to Gyuss in front of Stephen. We would instead walk behind him.

Q was pleased as punch to find that he had been assigned Ernest Borgnine. For the entirety of the tournament if anyone wandered to close to this pairing they would over hear Q boisterously saying to Ern, "So Airwolf was awesome, right? Is it parked around here?? (Looking around hopefully) We should take it to the mall later, I bet that'd get lots of chicks!" It was kind of sad, for Ernest Borgnine.

Cyber D had been partnered with The Rock. This was pretty uncomfortable for all of us. Well except for Cyber D who greeted him enthusiastically with, "Hi Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson! The Quad welcomes you. Well, not into the Quad, but you get to hang with us for the day. I am Cyber D, one of the founding members of the Quad. It's pretty awesome you know, being in the Quad. You should maybe start your own group. You could call it 'The Almost Good Enough to Make Its'. Ha ha ha". The rest of us moved away from this quickly.

I came to the event excited because I knew that I was slated to play with Michael Bivins of New Edition and Bell Biv Devoe fame. I was eager to tell him how his music had changed my life and that the lyrics to "Poison" were what I lived my life by. You can imagine my disappointment when I arrived to find some hack in glasses standing there instead. Below is a small segment of the conversation that followed.

Dags: So, where's Biv? Is he running late or something?

The Hack: No, he couldn't make it. I'm his replacement.

Dags: Who are you?

The Hack: Maybe this will help. (Puts right hand to ear) Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?

Dags: I heard you the first time. Who the F are you?

The Hack: I'm the Verizon guy. I'll give you an autograph after the tournament ok?

Dags: Oh. You see, I just thought this was supposed to be a celebrity event.

The Hack: I am a celebrity. People around the world know me and love me. In Mexico they call me El Lobo de Verizon! In Japan, school girls line up around the block to get a chance to see me.

Dags: Yeah. Ok. Whatever.

The Hack: I'm the second biggest spokesman in the world. There's the Marlboro Man and then there's me, and my product hasn't even been definitively linked to cancer.

Dags: I'd say Tiger Woods is a bigger spokesman than you.

The Hack: Tiger Woods??!???? He's not a spokesman!! When have you ever heard him talk about Nike??? He's just in the commercials. I don't even thinks he knows he's there making a commercial. I wouldn't trade places with him for anything.

The rest of the tournament was the Verizon guy trying to justify his presence there. It was the longest day of my life, even though we were dominating the scoreboard. Luckily the tournament ended early when Cyber D was injured with 3 holes left to play. None of us know exactly what happened as The Rock did not stick around long enough to give anyone an explanation and Cyber D didn't want to talk about it.