Welcome to Texas Football

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before on the blog or not, but my 11 year old son has decided that he wanted to play tackle football this year. On one hand this isn't a huge surprise because he has shown interest in it previously when he was playing soccer and we shared the youth football team that was all in pads and helmets. On the other hand it is surprising, because I'm not sure that he has ever watched more than twenty minutes of football his entire life combined. I don't think he can name more than two positions or tell you how the game is scored. He did play some flag football through the YMCA a while back, and maybe he has some lingering affection from that time.

So this weekend he had try outs for youth football. This was the final weekend for tryouts. It lasts three weeks to get all of the kids in. Now don't get me wrong everybody gets put on a team, but this is Texas and we apparently take 6th grade football pretty damn seriously. Try outs lasted two hours Saturday. After registering, he was weighed in, interviewed by coaches of every team individually, ran a 40 yard dash in which his time was announced to the crowd (yes, the crowd), caught a pass, threw a pass, tackled a dummy, and then was finally sent on his way. The next day the coaches from the different teams get together and draft their teams. They only get to keep two kids from the previous year so I guess the teams change regularly.

Much to my dismay, I've also come to find out that the teams practice two hours a day four days a week. I'm having a lot of trouble with this time commitment that they are expecting. I already know my kid's going to have to miss practice every Tuesday for dance class. I guess I'll have that conversation with the coach today, as practices and conditioning are already starting. I might not actually mention the words "ballet" or "jazz dance".

More Text Pics

Since there's been such a ground swell of interest about the text messages and pictures that get shared between the Crotch Wizards I thought that I would pull back the curtain, as they say, and give the fans a glimpse at the never before seen inner workings of the group. In this House of Dagromm exclusive you the normal human mortal will get a chance to permeate some of the secret mechanisms that transpire between the Crotch Wizards. The two text message pics that you will see were sent by Dagromm himself by cell phone to one of his lieutenants in the Crotch Wizards, Q. The reason? It's hard to say, but it is suspected that Q is the only one of the group whose phone is set up to receive the pictures.



The first one was sent in June.

Big Kisses?

The second one was sent on July 12th of this year.

Thinking of you.

Much like the mystery surrounding Stone Henge and Easter Island, people will speculate for years what the ramifications of these messages truly are. Do they allude to knowledge of a higher power? Are they part of some secret language or code that can't be unlocked without the discovery of a Rosetta Stone? Does this mean there is intelligent life on other planets? Will David Faustino ever get another television show?

The world may never know.

What Season Is It?

Well summer obviously, but it is also baseball season. It's the beginning of football preseason. Very very close to soccer season. And for Q, it's stalking season. I've been hearing the adds on the radio for what I know is going to be an irrestable draw for the Q....

That's right the ever so sweet and clean former star of Trading Spaces is in NoTex singing show tunes. Two of Q's biggest obsessions; Paige Davis and show tunes. This combination will be like cocaine to an addict like Q.

To Answer Nina's Question

I finished the book last night. I'm going to be somewhat busy this morning, but anybody who wants to talk about it, we can discuss in the comments section. For those who don't want to read spoilers then please avoid the comments section. I'm talking to you Gyuss and Cyber D.

A Few Tidbits That Don't Individually Rank Needing Their Own Blog Posts

I went to a minor league ball game with my son, my dad, and Q the other day and had a great time. It's one of the perks of the new job, that I get tickets once in a while for the games with a parking pass that is right next to the stadium and free food and drinks. Minor league games attract a different crowd than major league games (read: more women) and the set up in Frisco is really top notch. The stadium is really nice and they have lots of entertainment in between innings. My favorite part was when my dad and son started slam dancing to Take Me Out To The Ball Game during the 7th inning stretch. The fireworks show afterwards was good too.

It's almost soccer season again and I am getting ramped up. I received an e-mail from the parent of a former player. Her daughter has decided that she wants to play soccer again and wants to be back on my team. I was thrilled when I got the message. She was one of our weaker players, but I feel really good that she wanted to come back and especially wanted to come back to my team.

My son wants to take up pee wee football. Try outs are next weekend. I'm scared to death, but I'm proud of him for giving it a shot.

I've now settled on a title for the film about my life story. It will tentatively be titled, "Suburban Pimp". I am thinking that when the beginning credits roll they will be accompanied by the Sugar Hill Gang's "Apache".

Two more days until I go to great lengths to shut myself off from the outside world and devour the last Harry Potter book. I've been preparing for months now. Over the last three months I've re-read the entire series and watched several of the movies so that I was properly primed for the last installment.

Now, I am ready to make some predictions for the final book. If you don't like to speculate on such things then don't read any further. I wouldn't call these spoilers by any means as J.K. Rowling has a proven track record of out thinking me.

Let's start with Dumbledore is alive. At first I felt very strongly that he was dead, because if he is indeed dead then Jo has said explicitly that there is no coming back. I spoke with Pokiman about it and so I will add his input too, because I think he brought up some good points. So here is the corroborating set up. In the first Potions lessons' in book 1 & 5 numerous potions were named. One of them was named in both lessons. It is also the only one that hasn't made an appearance in the books one way or the other the entire time. That potion is the Draught of Living Death which produces a powerful sleeping potion. So the set up was complete to fake a death. If Voldemort thought he was dead then Draco would be safe and Dumbledore would want that.

The set up continued with the discussion of non-verbal spells. A decent amount of time was spent on explaining them and giving them due notice. This never came to fruition in this book either. Jo doesn't normally leave loose threads or waste time writing about something that has no consequence. I think however it did come into play. We just weren't made aware of it.

When Snape performed the killing curse, Dumbledore was blasted from the top of the tower, but that is not what the Avada Kedavra does. When the Avada Kedavra is performed then the people just fall dead where they are with no sign of anything having been done. So it would seem that Snape actually performed a different spell nonverbally and just said the words for the killing curse. This would make it appear that Dumbledore was killed and get him safely out of the way of the Death Eaters.

As far as falling to his death from the top of the tower I don't think that was the case either. We already know of about half a dozen flying things in and around Hogwarts that could have caught/saved Dumbledore. There are brooms, thestrals, the Ford Anglia, Sirius Black's motorcycle, flying carpets, Fawkes, and the Wingardium Leviosa charm.

Of course if all of this is true then I am also making the prediction that Snape is not on the side of Voldemort. For this I would point to the fact that Snape has not killed Harry or any of his friends this entire time. I think we will find out why Dumbledore trusted him when nobody else did and that he will be vindicated. Even after supposedly killing Dumbledore he didn't try to hurt Harry even thought htey were in a direct conflict.

I haven't heard any spculation on this next part, but this hit me a little while back. We know that Voldemort is a descendent of Salazar Slytherin. It has been inferred that Harry might be a descendent of Gryffindor as his parents lived in Godric's Hollow and he was able to pull the sword from the sorting hat. Is it possible then that his friends are also descendents of famous wizards? Could Hermione be from the line of Ravenclaw and Ron from Hufflepuff? They certainly display the qualities that those houses are known for. I don't have any proof to support those ideas, but I think it's an interesting thought.

R.A.B. could be Regulus, Sirius Black's brother, but could also be the missing partner from Borgin and Burkes. The owners of the dark wizard shop would be in prime position to know what Voldemort was up to. They also were the only other people we heard of that knew about the now missing locket. This could be the reason that we've only ever seen one of the owners of the shop as the other one was killed. The locket itself does seem to be in Grimmauld Place as there is mention of a heavy locket during the cleaning of the house.

As far as who lives and dies. I don't know. I expect that Voldemort must die. I don't know about anyone else. Neville and the Weasley family seem like prime targets for death. Luna and Cho have outside shots of getting killed as well. I don't know whether the final conflict will be a large scale battle or a more intimate affair, but I'm full of anticipation waiting for Friday night.

A Dangerous Hobby

I've taken up a new hobby over the last few months that I thought I would share with everyone. I've taken up storm chasing. For those who don't know storm chasing is the hobby where instead of moving away from storms I follow them to try and get as close as I can to the action and maybe try to get some good pictures of the action. In the tornado alley of North Texas this can get pretty hairy. If you've ever watched the movie Twister then you know what I'm talking about.

There are different types of storm chasers. Just like everything else different things appeal to different people. Some times geography, etc. come into play as well. Some people follow hurricanes, some tornados, some people even look for tsunamis and hail storms. We're all basically the same though. We accept the inherent danger in what we do and forge ahead because of our passion.

I recently asked Q to help me to get some of my pictures from my chsing off of my phone and onto the computer so that I can share them with you, my extended blog family. He has obliged and now I will share a couple with you. Enjoy.

This first one was a picture I took a couple of months ago. After we were hit by what seemed to be the 100th rain of the summer. I don't think the picture truly conveys the immense size of what I was facing or how fully formed it was. That's one of the challenges of storm chasing though, so I'm still proud of what I got.

The second picture was taken while I was in hot pursuit. As you can see the local law enforcement was trying to keep people away for their own safety. This bad boy ranked as an F-4 class rainbow and it's amazing that I was able to get this close to it.

The Greatest and Best Rap Group of All Time

I did a lot of driving this weekend. And when I do a lot of driving I do a lot of thinking. And when I do a lot of thinking I think about how I would construct the greatest rap group ever. Then I think about all the fly lyrics and def beats we would drop. My picks to make up my super group of rap would include

Chuck D

Chuck D has probably the best voice of any rapper ever. It's clear and commanding. He has already been part of one of the best rap groups ever and this would be the opportunity to get to even greater heights.

Mike D

As a member of the Beastie Boys for the last 20 years. Mike has helped to create new sounds and styles that have kept them relavant far longer than most musical performers.

Heavy D

Every rap group needs a guy that can spit lyrics at a faster pace than most mere mortals. The diddly diddly diddly D is exactly the guy to do it for the greatest rap group of all time.

D-12

Eminem put this group together and I think we can all agree that he knows a little something about rap. Additionally these guys will add to the fear factor that rap groups need to keep the suckas straight.

Deelight

Completely bad ass rap groups have a chick to kick out some vocals for their hype hooks (C&C Music Factory?). Deelight has made a career out of doing just that.

Tenacious D

This awesome power of a rap group would certainly want to do some rap/metal crossover stuff and adding Tenacious D would allow them to do just that.

There it is. I don't think it gets any better than that. Sorry Cyber D. You didn't make the cut.

Once More With Feeling

Back by Popular Demand, we will play

Who Am I

The rules are the same as last time. I will post a quote and you get to guess in the comments section. We'll see if anyone besides Q knows this one.

Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here, this was my dream, my wish, and it didn't come true. So I'm takin' it back. I'm takin' 'em all back.

This one is probably pretty easy too. I guess we'll see.

Who am I?

It's been awhile since we played thise guessing game on the blog. So in this game I will give you the clues and you (the lucky reader) get to take guesses in comments section. This time around I am going to change things up and I want you to name the fictional character that said these lines:

And look. Fish. The fish eat the fish food, and the shark eats the fish, but nobody eats a shark.

See, this is Pez.Candy. You see, you eat it. You put the candy in here, and when you lift the head, the candy comes out. You want some?

This is a peanut. You eat it. But you can't eat this one 'cause this is fake.

This is money. You see? We put the money in the peanut. You see. Bank.

So there you are. Take your guesses. I think one of you super smart readers will probably get this pretty quickly.

Hurry Up and Weight

That's what my summer up to this point has felt like. To much to do, not enough time, and crummy weather that hinders decisions and capabilities. The rain that has beset North Texas for the last month has pushed back plans including my own exercise plans. Even with hardly having any opportunities to work out and swim I was glad to find that I've lost an additional 3 pounds. I'm super excited as I'm now just 1.82 pounds from sheer physical perfection. I've been practicing my display poses in front of the bathroom mirror already. It looks awesome.

The rain has also caused a plethora of mosquitos. Every time I go out to grill or practice soccer I get multitudes of bites all over my legs. Luckily for me, I heal from mosquito bites within an hour and they don't linger. Just the same it's overly annoying and there are few things in the world that I hate more than mosquitos. Some of those things are Gyuss Baaltar, and....... Well Gyuss Baaltar.

Muchos Movies

Summertime is movie time so I will indulge you/me with a little more exposition on the subject.

The first is a movie that once again I beat Gyuss to seeing. I actually saw it a couple of weeks ago with the family. It's probably one of the most anticipated movies of the year and you've probably been surprised not to see a review of it already. The movie that I am speaking of is of course Nancy Drew. This movie stars Emma Roberts who looks like an Anne Hathaway starter kit. It tries to play up Nancy as an ideal from another time who is somewhat out of place in current day, but still of course comes out on top. It just doesn't do it as successfully as previous movies like the Brady Bunch Movie. In fact I'm now thinking that I will enjoy the Hardy Boys Movie more. This movie was not that funny, cute, or mysterious but it did have Rachel Leigh Cook and that alone will get it an A-. I love you R.L.C. Call me.

The next movie was one I watched last night, Shooter. It's a movie that's got some moments of creativity and also got big glaring plot holes that are tough to overlook. It's a decent watch if you don't want to think too much and like playing 1st person shooter video games. The other plusses to the movie are that it it's pretty damning of the Bush Administration, it has Marky Mark, and probably best of all it has Rhona Mitra (Boston Legal, Ali G Indahouse). Those three things vault this movie to a strong A-. When ever I see her I think that she's wearing the "Keep it real" panties that she wore in Ali G. Is that just me? I love you Rhona. Call me.

Lastly is a movie that I will soon be renting. I haven't actually seen it yet, but I will of that you can be sure. Much like Transmorphers coming out on video in time to try and catch some of the Transformers spill over I have found the movie that is coming out for rent just in time to catch some of the Harry Potter spill over. Before Rupert Grint landed the set-for-life pay day playing the best friend of Harry Potter he starred in Thunderpants playing the best friend of a kid that farts a lot. This movie also has Ned Beatty and Paul Giamatti. Here is the plot outline from IMDB. An 11-year-old boy's amazing ability to break wind leads him first to fame and then to death row, before it helps him to fulfill his ambition of becoming an astronaut. That gets a pre-emptive A-. I love you Rupert. Call me.

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A Day Earlier Than Most

July 3rd. Mark it down. The day that mi familia went to see Transformers. This means that I saw it a full day before some of my Blog counterparts. I'm not saying that makes me better or anything. It's just one of many things that makes me better. I can prove my claim too. While sitting in the theater waiting for the movie to start and perusing the crowd I sent the following text message to Q at 8:19 PM July 3rd: "Hot girls don't go to see Transformers". His response dated 8:20 PM July 3rd: "Hahahahahahaha. No shit! Nerdy guys do". So there it is Gyuss. 2nd place again.


Anyway on to the review. Pretty good. Not as good as the live action Transformers movie I made with my friend 's video camera when I was 11, but whatever. Maybe they didn't have my budget for black cat firecrackers. My daughter spent the entire time pointing out everybody in the movie that has also been on a Disney Channel show. There were four of them by her count. Shia LeBeouf was terrific in Even Stephens, awesome in Holes, outstanding in Charlie's Angels 2, and pretty good in this. He's a disarmingly funny actor.


In fact it's good enough that I might say this is the best Tyrese movie ever. I know that others will argue that 2 Fast 2 Furious was good 2, but I disagree.


Megan Fox is awfully pretty in this flick and so is Rachael Taylor as the really hot Australian that works for the U.S. Department of Defense. As if we'd ever let an Aussie inside our inner defenses. Those people were sent there because they're criminals. We're not that dumb.


So anyway where was I.....Oh yeah, Anthony Anderson looked good too, but I didn't like the Portis jersey he was sporting the whole time. That's going to date this movie pretty quickly. Ummmmm.....Jon Voight looked kinda good I guess. Man I need to kick this up a notch


Oh got it!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!!!


The cars turn into robots, and apparently don't think to much of humans.


So that's an A-. I guess.

I'm Dumbledore Bitches!!

You scored as Albus Dumbledore, Strong and powerful you admirably defend your world and your charges against those who would seek to harm them. However sometimes you can fail to do what you must because you care too much to cause suffering. Albus Dumbledore 90% Hermione Granger 85% Remus Lupin 75% Draco Malfoy 75% Harry Potter 70% Sirius Black 60% Ron Weasley 60% Severus Snape 55% Lord Voldemort 45% Ginny Weasley 40% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

Summer Blockbuster

I love this time of year! It's when Hollywood goes nuts and puts out spectacle they think that mankind would like to see for the reasonable freakshow price of $8.00 a ticket. It's also when every wannabe big time company puts out knock offs of all the big hype movies that are headed to the big screen. You can only imagine my excitement when I was in Blockbuster the other day and saw this...











Well I snatched it up as fast as I could. Nobody was going to beat me to this monstrosity. It didn't boast a big budget, an all star cast, or even decent reviews. What it did have was the quote, "It's like The Matrix, Aliens, and Starship Troopers rolled in one". Even for a person that openly will go out of his way to rent a movie that he thinks will be bad, this one was a stand out. It had everything. Poor writing. Poor acting. Shaky camera work. Really bad and inconsistent special effects. Bad editing. The sound obviously had some issues because the middle two-thirds sounded as if it had been dubbed in the producers' parents' bathroom and it didn't synch up to the action at all. The mouths were moving in a totally disjointed fashion in comparison to the sound. All in a mad rush to get it out the week before Transformers hits theaters.

If you like poorly put together movies then I would recommend this Blockbuster New Release! Dagromm gives it an A-.

On a side note my son, who was very eager by the way to see Transmorphers, recently wanted to watch Austin Powers. We capitulated and rented it online so that he could see it. I don't know what he had heard or what exactly he had expected, but everytime some slightly sexual scene would come on screen he would sit up attentively and say things like, "ok" and "here we go". It was really uncomfortable for me and Mrs. Dagromm. I finally called him out on it, said that I don't know wat he was expecting, but we weren't watching any freaky movies during dinner. It still makes me giggle.

Mingle² - Online Dating

The Unerring and Most Accurate Recollections of the Blogworthy Weekend Shared by the Crotch Wizards

Part 3

The third day was met in a groggy fashion as Cyber D and Q arrived at the House of Dagromm in the early hours of the morning. Gyuss, Pokiman, and I had already awoken. I severely burned from long shirtless hours in the sun. Pokiman and Gyuss severely burning from unprotected sex in a less than hygienic fashion.

Still we were excited to meet the days challenges head on. We all had visions of the everlasting glory that we would have for the next year if we could triumph in any of the days' events. Q had early success as the first competition was his strongest, Twister. In anything Q considers a contact sport he likes to bring the pain and with Gyuss, Poki, and myself being in weakened states we were little competition. Cyber D was much to fragile for Q's onslaught and this one was over before it ever truly began.
The next tournament was a closely contested battle for supremacy between Gyuss and myself. The Slip and Slide was pushed to its limits as we each tried to outduel each other. There has been some controversy as to what the final results of this contest were. Although I dominated the early goings on Gyuss was able to squeek out some success towards the end. In the end, nobody wanted to tell Gyuss he had ultimately lost.

We moved on to a game of survival, which may sound dangerous but when you hang with the Wizards you learn to thrive on danger. I won't go into details about the competition but I will say that it included shotguns, fire axes, explosives. I don't really remember who won this challenge. It wasn't me so I tried to forget about it.

We moved on to a challenge where we switched from the hunted to the hunter and no cheerleader was safe. For this we split into pairs and since there was an odd number of attendees I paired up with my son. I can't account for anyone else, but my son did well for his young age. He had tons of enthusiasm and was pleased that he was getting to join in on some manly fun. I think that Cyber D and Pokiman also did well. Gyuss and Q? Not so much.

Lastly, was the battle of knowledge. Sadly this was a lot less competitive than I would have expected. It came down to Q and myself. I was able to secure 1st runner up and Q won on a poor judges decision. They approved an incorrect answer as being "close enough". I'm not bitter or anything, but that shit isn't happening again! Whatever, I should've known Q would be fixed. What a bunch of a-holes!!!!

My family was great to put up with us the entire 14 hours that day. My son participated at points which was cool even if he was a little over enthusiastic at times. My daughter was cool and didn't raise a fit at being ignored all day. I think I've set her up for some really healthy relationships in the future.

The Unerring Account of What Transpired on the Very Bloggish Weekend of the Quad Four

Part 2

The second day of the big weekend was spent in the company of minors. My kids. I chaperoned Gyuss as he escorted them to the water park. Gyuss wussed out and wore his shirt the whole time. Not me though. I was halfway from the parking lot to the front gate before my shirt came off. The splendor that is Dagromm was laid bare for the world. Glistening in the sun. Thank God I lost that two pounds from the weight loss challenge.

We rented a locker, I threw on some Joop, and the day was begun. The kids didn't back down from any challenge and Gyuss being the good godfather that he is took them on several things they probably shouldn't have been on. The girl rode a few things that she didn't meet the height requirements for as Gyuss would rush her on them before the employees could measure her. They even rode the ginormous suicide swing that flew out over the wave pool.

Gyuss also stepped up pretty well. He kept going past the point that I know that he was exhausted and even did a sled race against a guy that looked a lot like Professor Dumbledore. It was fairly awesome.

There was relatively little crowd the day we went which is good, because as I mentioned the shirt was off. We still got an eyeful of cute bikini wearing girls and Gyuss felt that he was being discrete in his looking by wearing dark glasses. I didn't point out to him that they could tell he was looking by the way his head would jerk violently when ever a cutie walked by. For my part I went through an entire bottle of Joop as I had to reapply it every time I got out of the pool. Eventually though it was time to leave. I was out of cologne and my crotch needed a break from wet clothes.

The True and Unflinching Account of the Bloggity Weekend that was Shared By the Blog Foursome Known as the Quad

Part 1 - The Quad Frisbee Golf Celebrity Pro Am

The festivities really got rolling on June 14th, 2007 with the Quad Frisbee Golf Celebrity Pro Am. Gyuss was nonplussed to find that he had received Stephen Hawking as his partner. As awkward as this might have been on its' own it was made more so by the fact that Gyuss had very publicly vetoed Stephen's application for membership within the Quad. Most of us avoided talking to Gyuss in front of Stephen. We would instead walk behind him.

Q was pleased as punch to find that he had been assigned Ernest Borgnine. For the entirety of the tournament if anyone wandered to close to this pairing they would over hear Q boisterously saying to Ern, "So Airwolf was awesome, right? Is it parked around here?? (Looking around hopefully) We should take it to the mall later, I bet that'd get lots of chicks!" It was kind of sad, for Ernest Borgnine.

Cyber D had been partnered with The Rock. This was pretty uncomfortable for all of us. Well except for Cyber D who greeted him enthusiastically with, "Hi Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson! The Quad welcomes you. Well, not into the Quad, but you get to hang with us for the day. I am Cyber D, one of the founding members of the Quad. It's pretty awesome you know, being in the Quad. You should maybe start your own group. You could call it 'The Almost Good Enough to Make Its'. Ha ha ha". The rest of us moved away from this quickly.

I came to the event excited because I knew that I was slated to play with Michael Bivins of New Edition and Bell Biv Devoe fame. I was eager to tell him how his music had changed my life and that the lyrics to "Poison" were what I lived my life by. You can imagine my disappointment when I arrived to find some hack in glasses standing there instead. Below is a small segment of the conversation that followed.

Dags: So, where's Biv? Is he running late or something?

The Hack: No, he couldn't make it. I'm his replacement.

Dags: Who are you?

The Hack: Maybe this will help. (Puts right hand to ear) Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?

Dags: I heard you the first time. Who the F are you?

The Hack: I'm the Verizon guy. I'll give you an autograph after the tournament ok?

Dags: Oh. You see, I just thought this was supposed to be a celebrity event.

The Hack: I am a celebrity. People around the world know me and love me. In Mexico they call me El Lobo de Verizon! In Japan, school girls line up around the block to get a chance to see me.

Dags: Yeah. Ok. Whatever.

The Hack: I'm the second biggest spokesman in the world. There's the Marlboro Man and then there's me, and my product hasn't even been definitively linked to cancer.

Dags: I'd say Tiger Woods is a bigger spokesman than you.

The Hack: Tiger Woods??!???? He's not a spokesman!! When have you ever heard him talk about Nike??? He's just in the commercials. I don't even thinks he knows he's there making a commercial. I wouldn't trade places with him for anything.

The rest of the tournament was the Verizon guy trying to justify his presence there. It was the longest day of my life, even though we were dominating the scoreboard. Luckily the tournament ended early when Cyber D was injured with 3 holes left to play. None of us know exactly what happened as The Rock did not stick around long enough to give anyone an explanation and Cyber D didn't want to talk about it.