The True and Factudinal History of the Bloggy Four

There have been some recent blog posts giving renditions of how myself, Gyuss, Cyber D, and Q became the pre-eminent force of nature that we've become. This is my attempt to clear any misinformation that may be floating around out there and give the world it's definitive answer.

It all began on a warm autumn day some fifteen years ago. I was an athletic, ambitious, smart freshman student in a small private college in north Texas. I would appear to have it all to most people, and I did, but I knew that my having it all wasn't enough. I knew that I needed to give back to the community. It was at this point that I decided to take an ignorant and unworldly west Texas freshman named Gyuss Baltaar under my wing. My interaction with Gyuss at that point had mainly been through my roommate at the time who was working with him as part of some religious mission. Gyuss was having trouble relating to the non-west Texas world around him. He wasn't well liked and in fact was struggling in many areas. Finally, Gyuss couldn't take it anymore and felt that he might need to end it all. I remember looking into that tear stained face of his and saying, "Don't you worry little bird. I'm going to help you. We're going to pull your head out of the sand and by God I swear one day you'll fly!" I saw the potential in young Gyuss. I knew that he could blossom if he was just given the right direction and had someone to believe in him. Thanks to community showers in the dorms I also knew that he was hung like no other man or beast. I mean, take your breath away, it gave me nightmares.
It seemed that much of Gyuss' stress revolved around his roommate CyberD. Now I had met CyberD a few times and we really hadn't spoken a lot, but I knew for my plan to work and for Gyuss to live I had to have him on my side. So I took it upon myself to seek out CyberD and ensnare him in a project that seemingly had no relation what so ever with Gyuss. I knew from my conversations with Gyuss that CyberD was a fan of a game that I happened to be an expert at. So CyberD and I made an appointment to meet in the school library one evening and discuss our mutual interest. By the end of the meeting, CyberD was so impressed with my skill and knowledge that he begged me to enter into a project with him and teach him. My plan was working. I told CyberD that I would allow him to work with me and be my apprentice, but that we would have to assemble a team and that Gyuss should be included. He reluctantly agreed and we embarked in a two year endeavor that would forever altar the lives of our team. During this time I came to learn a lot about CyberD and although we often were frustrated with each other, we always realized that in the end he needed me, almost as much as Gyuss. On top of that CyberD was a maestro with the ladies and Lord knows I love the ladies.

Years passed, we all graduated though CyberD tried to get us kicked out on an Environmental Economics project we worked on together. CyberD moved off to the other side of the world and Gyuss and I stayed behind to look after our little town. Gyuss became a regular at my house and in his time of need when he had to go to the hospital, I was there for him (CyberD was no where to be seen). Eventually my musky scent was too much for CyberD to live without and he moved back to our college town. At the same time Gyuss was about ready to spread his wings and finally leave the nest. It was with a heavy heart that I told Gyuss that "he was all growns up" and let him go.

Over the next couple of years I met a young whelp named Q. At first we met I was impressed with how savvy he was for such a young age and I told him that he would probably get a lot out of hanging out with my crew. He tried to set some things up a few times, but I don't allow anyone in too easily and I told Q to "go home and come back tomorrow". Eventually the Q had no recourse but to stalk me at my work and I realized that he was ready to be imparted with the lessons life had taught me. Q was an eager student and returned daily to learn more. He referred to me as "the professor" and I tried not to refer to him. I finally convinced CyberD that this apprentice of mine was ready to join our ranks as an equal (to CyberD). CyberD agreed and we began to work as a new team. Q came to depend on us and in his time of need when he had to go to the hospital, I was there for him (CyberD was no where to be seen).

Then in the last year CyberD told me that he had begun a blog and that I should check it out. I did and was so impressed that he could function without me that I quickly established my own blog and Q did the same. CyberD passed word on to Gyuss some time later and we were reconnected in the eyes of God and the general blog community.

After that it was merely a matter of time before we ruled with our army of nano-ninjas.

Trying to Keep it Sportsy

In an attempt to keep everyone up to date with the ever changing world of college athletics I have done an in depth research project on the recruiting classes of big time college football programs. You (the blogging world) might be stunned to find out that Florida International has apparently had some struggling recruiting and currently boasts the 113th best recruiting class. This could be fall-out from the trick play that they ran in their game with Miami this year (pictured). This places them two spots behind the University of North Texas which has no doubt been bolstered by the signing of Todd Dodge as their head coach. This just goes to show that the sports landscape can change on a dime in college athletics. For those who are interested the University of Texas is currently ranked number one. This has become somewhat of a tradition for the Longhorns. They will be rated number one untill signing day at which point they will have people pull their commitments and go to play elsewhere.

I Want To Apologize to My Loyal Readership

I'm trying to get back on the blog horse as I know that I've let a number of you down by not posting in several days. I will not make excuses, but I will explain what has been going on in that time that has kept me away. Unbeknownst to most I have been on a blog sabbatical to work tirelessly towards self improvement. Over the course of the last several days I have commenced an intense workout regimen to improve my physique and overall health. This includes a strict diet of boiled salmon, kale, and Megaman vitamins from GNC. I normally mix them together in a blender and drink them like a smoothy five times a day in place of traditional meals. Sometimes I just lay them on a plate seperately though if I feel the need to dine with family. My workout includes crunches while hanging upside down from my shower curtain rod and doing lunge thrusts around the neighborhood that I live in. This hasn't been just about getting in shape though. I have also used the last few days to improve my mind. To this end I have read the entire World Book encyclopedia collection that was at my local library. I now have a comprehensive fourth grade level knowledge of all things through 1997. In addition to this I worked to improve my soul. In my quest for enlightenment, I have spent every night for the last ten days meditating upon the universe in the winter air from the roof over my house. I blocked out all sensory distractions to dwell upon the meaning of being. The first eight days were fruitless, but on the ninth I ascended to a higher plane of existence. I also watched Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. I give it an A-. I thought unrated meant there would be nudity.
So I apologize loyal readers. I have not forsaken you in my quest for improvement. I have not been sitting idly by while my blog has gone unattended. No, this time was important to help me become the person that I knew I could truly be.

Gyuss Baltaar and His Top Military Officials Surrender
Today the House of Dagromm has accepted the official surrender of Gyuss Baltaar. Here is pictured the last of Gyuss' cabinet about to surrender their weapons. With all of the House of Dagromm centered on one enemy a quick resolution is anticipated.

The Q's Trail is Not That Hard to Follow

Field scouts are getting closer to finding the current hiding spot of the Q/Gyuss tandem of evil. Ever since their respective headquarters were overrun last week they have been on the lamb, moving from one safe house to another. Normally this might make it difficult to find an adversary, but in this case our team of experts have identified evidence that makes their trail quite distinctive. We are not going to disclose what this evidence is as we don't want to tip our hand to the enemy, but the attached photo is some sort of clue for the curious.

All Aboard Dagromm's Freedom Bus!!

Always on the lookout for new ways to inspire the troops in their riteous quest to exterminate evil (The Corner of the Q & The Cave of Gyuss) from the world the forces of good have unveiled their newest weapon, the Freedom Bus. The Freedom Bus was masterfully designed and crafted by the sharpest mechanical minds of West Virginia. It has the ability to accerate from 0-60 in 4.2 seconds, can demolish a 93 Crown Victoria, and has a leather interior. Already a tour with Big Foot is planned with stops in Charlotte, N.C.; Darlington, S.C.; Martinsville, VA; and Mobile AL. All who want to promote a better way of life and fend off the moral decay are welcome to take a ride on the Freedom Bus!

Assassination Attempt Foiled!!!

This afternoon an assassination attempt was foiled when the forces of QGy sent a not so subtle Tara Reid bomb into the House of Dagromm trying to end the world's bid for freedom. The ruse was quickly uncovered (as is the real Tara Reid) and was subdued with copious amounts of cocaine and alcohol.

Photo of the poorly thought out Tara Reid bomb

Irresponsible Leaders Upset Their Armed Forces

The military of Gyuss and the Q have let it be know thatr they are upset with the way their leadership is approaching the war. Allegations range from misuse of military resources to an apathetic approach for the people that are putting their lives on the line everyday for some misbegotten cause. A few examples of the problems that are surfacing are:

Using miltary jets for local advertising to scrounge up more gambling money for the evil dictators:

The use of armored support to harvest the Q's personal heroin crop:

Probably most damaging of all was a photo that Gyuss had taken of his recent trip to California:

The Q's Secret Army!!

Our worldwide network of allies has infiltrated the dark innerworkings of the Q/Gyuss sanctum santorum to find that they have unbeknownst the rest of the world been developing a sleeper army around the world. This secret army is composed of the Q's most fervent supporters in his quest for world destruction and inhabits the rural pasteur of many nations. That's right the Q/Gyuss team has called upon their natural allies the mindless sheep of the world to reign death and terror upon all freedom loving people. God help us all.

Open Letter to the Q and Gyuss

Q's Soldiers Woefully Outmatched

Say "We Kind of Rushed Into This"

Recent events have shown that the Q and his lover/ally Gyuss have bitten off more than they can chew as reports come in one after the other of their troops defeats. One captured enemy commander from Q's Armored Cavalry reports that "We kind of rushed into this. I mean we didn't have any training or anything!!! We would probably be a lot more effective if we at least had the manuals to these things. Instead we bought them second hand". Asked about his outlook for the coming days he said, "We're screwed. Thanks for nothing Q!"

Photos from the front lines seem to confirm what this one enemy officer said and confirm earlier reports that the axis of evil was having trouble recruiting competent soldiers.

Allied Forces Bring Down Another Disturbing Q Monument

The Q/Gyuss insurgent movement is losing ground at an imoressive rate. Around the globe their compounds and hidden cells of radical loyalists are being defeated. And with each victory by our good service men and women we find more monuments that Q has erected to suit his own vile compulsions. We have worked tirelessly and will continue to do so to end the madness and terror that is our enemy.

Q "Claims" Victory!!!

In another disturbing turn of events the fascist Q's Corner group has recently claimed victory for moving forward with their threat to kill Santa Clause. Because the children of the world united in the single cause to stop the Q and not join his minions, the Q made it his sole objective to eliminate the holiday hero. Although there has been no verification of this claim as of yet, this photo was released to the media just hours ago. The world clamors for this unholy alliance to be brought to justice, or at least brutally murdered.

Q Promotes New Child Slavery Super Store

The evilness of Q knows no bounds as he has recently begun heavily promoting his chain of child slavery mega stores also known as Q-Marts. Although the stores have come under heavy criticism, Q defends the retail outlets. In answer to protesters Q was heard to say that, "Sure 4th quarter earnings were a little disappointing, but we have big things coming in 2007. We saw positive growth with our online services and our Asian outlets are booming". This truly dispicable response has strengthened our resolve to finish this advocate of malevolence.

Enemy Leaders Caught on Tape

Our ever active network of covert operatives recently recorded the following conversation between the Q and Gyuss Baltaar with their highest ranking generals as they were sent reeling by the previous week's military activity. As can be seen they were not prepared for the onslaught that was brought upon them. What follows is a transcript from that conversation.


Q-Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast.


Gyuss- It jumped up a notch.


Q- It did, didn't it?


General Brick-Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.


Q-I saw that.Brick killed a guy.


Gyuss- Did you throw a trident?


General Brick- Yeah.There were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident.


Q-I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Find yourself a safe house or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder. I'm proud of you fellas. You kept your head on a swivel.


And it better stay on a swivel deviants, because a mercilous justice machine is coming after you!

The Gloves Are Off!!!!

The House of Dagromm and the Wheel are unleashing their ultimate weapon. Both Blog powers stating that they had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but they had been left with little choice. The inevitable conclusion is coming with the release of Chuck Norris from the cryogenic chamber which he has been kept for the saftey of the world. Look in fear Q and Gyuss! Death is coming for you, and he wears a black hat!

Troops Find Cave of Gyuss

Say "It's Not That Impressive"

Acting on intelligence reports that the Cave of Gyuss the Baleful was really "just around the block" from the Corner of the Q troops found and siezed the infamous cave. After a quick look inside they were disappointed to find that it was really very little more than a hole in the graound and probably didn't even really qualify as a cave. "Maybe for like a five year old it's some mysterious cave. For an adult it's just kind of pathetic," said intrepid scout K. Garoo (pictured). When asked if they could be sure that it was in fact the correct cave they pointed to the dog eared autobiographies of Rush Limbaugh and Dan Quale that littered the floor, as well as the parachute that appeared to have been used as a sleeping bag

The Q's Corner Has Been Found!!!!

It can now be confirmed that the base of operation for the self appointed master of evil and degradation known as the Q has been located. These photos taken by our spy network shows what poor shape the Q is actually in. Actions are already underway to close down the Corner and locate the Cave of Guy Ass Ball Tar.

The House of Cyberteam Unveil Three Point Plan for Victory

In a closed door summit with world leaders and tacticians earlier today the heads of both the House of Dagromm and Cyberman outlined their strategy for certain victory. After analyzing the enemies weaknesses and strengths(?) they developed a three tiered plan that will go into effect as early as today. As can be seen from the diagram below every contingency is flawlessly covered. After the announcement heads of state and leaders of nation bowed their heads in awe of what was later called by audience members, "the perfect plan".

Casualties Soar!!!

As this unprecedented war (B-Dub 1) continues the toll it takes on the fighting forces mounts. Already the evil axis has lost 13,524 bloodthirsty killers to their unriteous cause. Combined with the losses of CyberD and our own House of Dagromm that brings the total loss of life to 13,525. While his soldiers suffer and die the Q refuses to assist and instead spends his time hobnobbing at social functions.

Photo of Cemetary of Enemy Losses in This War

Photo of Cemetary of Combined Losses of Dagromm and CyberD