Secret Santa
I tried to tell CyberD about this over the phone yesterday, but his network hates him so much that we continuously got dropped. After about a half dozen times we gave up and I drove my car into a retaining wall. I was trying to relate to him the conversation my wife and I had just had that I thought was funny, but she did not.
Mrs. Dagromm: We're doing a secret santa at the office and I have to go out and find something to get for $20. Any ideas?
Me: Why don't you get a bra?
Mrs. Dagromm: Because I don't want to get fired.
Me: How would you get fired? It's a secret santa.
Mrs. Dagromm: But when everybody starts claiming the gifts, I'll be the one stuck with the bra.
Me (misunderstanding): Make sure you get your size then.
Me (now comprehending that she meant in an investigation): Oh, just say you didn't know what you brought, because you sent your husband out to get the gift for you. He must have misunderstood.
Mrs. Dagromm: Goodbye.