Friday, November 09, 2007

The Month in Review

Things have really been in a flurry lately as we raced to the end of our youth sports seasons and the end is in sight. This weekend will be the last game for my daughter's rec soccer team that I coach. After we defeat The Butterflies we will be 8-2 for the season and in second place. Not bad improvement for our team. The first season we went 3-7 and last season 6-4 so we are slowly creeping towards perfection. We still have plenty of area for improvement so I'm excited about next season already. After the game we will have our end o'season party and do the whole trophy thing.

My son has also finished his football season, sort of. His team went on to wint he City Championship. The player that they had lost due to a move to Arizona flew back to help out and the final score of the game was 32-19. He is so proud of his Trophy that says 1st place and City Champion. I don't know if he'll want to play again next year, but I think he'll be ready to go again come next fall. This weekend they have "Bowl Game" against a different city champion. I don't know why, because after you win the City Championship I can't help but think that anything afterwards will be a let down. After that, I think we will mercifully be done.

My daughter's other team (Liverpool) finished their season last weekend. They started the season roughly, but they had two wins and a tie in their last three games to finish on a positive note. The girl spent the last three or four games playing defense which I don't think is the right position for her, but I guess is where the coach felt like she helped the most. The girl was excited about playing defense at first, but looked a little bored about it by the last game. She's got lots of room to grow as a defender. One on one she's alright, but she's a horrible team defender right now. Oh well. They've got their end of season party on Sunday.

Additional winning that's been going on.
I did win one of the drawings at the HR conference. I don't want to say what I won, because I don't know who'll be getting it for Christmas yet, but I thought it was fairly cool. I also won the footpall pick 'em at work for last week. I don't participate too much because people have a hard time with the guy that's handing out the prizes handing one to himself, but it was my turn so f 'em. I also won first prize in the Halloween costume contest. I dressed in my best impersonation of Dingle from Reno 911. I had a wig, fake mustache, uniform, etc. People could actually identify who I was which was cool.

You read all of this and you think everything's perfect, but life is never that easy. The family has had losses, bills are always tighter then I'd like, and I have to replace my car. Just in time for the holiday season.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Corporate F'ing Around

Well blog world I'm getting away from the office for a few days. My boss and I are headed to the HR Southwest conference for the next three days. What's that mean? It means that besides being away from the computer for extended periods, I will be signing up for any and every drawing that I see in the hopes of actually winning something from one of the bazillion vendors that will be set up there. It also means that I will be sitting in many "interesting" lectures and classes. It definitely means that I will be getting a free lunch for the next three days, and ultimately that I will be taking a company paid three day vacation.

Hopefully I'll get enough continuing education credits to keep up my certification while I'm counting how many hot girls actually work in the HR field. For those of you who don't know, it's not many.

My boss has pretty much the same thing in mind that I do. We'll go late, leave early, and work on getting plenty of rest. I do have to admit that I'm excited about Friday's keynote speaker.
I don't really know what she has to do with HR, but I'm hoping for an autograph!

Thursday, October 18, 2007


I thought I'd share a few pics as I was recently overcome with nostalgia for my community at large and specifically my Blog Community.

The first one was taken at the wedding of Gyuss Baaltar a few years ago. Here he and the Mrs. are at the reception that immediately followed the wedding. Gyuss took a spare no expense approach to his wedding. The reception was at a really nice Days Inn and he bought his wedding costume as opposed to just renting it. Unfortunately the Green Lantern ring he placed on his bride's finger brought looks of disapproval from her family. They had been hoping for a Legion of Super Heroes flight ring.

This next one comes from the time when Q had seen Scarface and thought that he could become a drug overlord in a short amount of time with a few high profile displays of violence. So he snuck out one evening and keyed the cars of people that he thought might know about the drug industry (which were basically the workers at the local CVS, his family doctor, and the Hispanic families in his small town). This caused a small revolt by the Mexican gangs in the local area and this nice piece of grafitti appeared. Q feared for his life and went into hiding at my place until it was safe, or at least until I stopped buying the meatball Hot Pockets.

I also wanted to share a picture from a time I was hanging out with Cyber D. As everyone knows Cyber D loves going to the movies, like almost more than anything. So a few months back he and I went to the premiere of Transformers. Cyber D loves Sci-fi but had been drinking (big surprise, I know) and while we were waiting had to start mouthing off about how much better the Dr. Who franchise was and that the Transformers movie was like Brokeback Mountain with robots. I edged away as I could see the restlessness growing with each of his loud proclamations. As soon as Cyber D shouted that Megatron was Starscream's bitch I knew it was on. Anyway Cyber D and I didn't get to see the movie together that day, but I did get this funny picture of him totally getting his ass beat.

Susan and I met up once. Once. I had just flown into town and Susan met me at the airport. I didn't expect to even see her on that trip. To be honest I don't even know how she knew it was me. She just said she recognized my pants. She also said that she hung out at the airport all the time and asked if I wanted to buy her a drink. "Ummmmmm.....ok," I said. So she pulled me into the TGI Fridays in the airport terminal immediately ordered a bottle of Crown, poured it into a half-full two liter of Coke, and started drinkning straight from the bottle. The conversation was really weird and seemed to revolve around which of the Seven Dwarfs would be most fun to date. Just before airport security arrived I was able to get this picture.

So a few weeks back, I had run into a Barnes and Noble, when I heard an unfamiliar voice call from behind me "Dagromm! Dagromm!!!". I turned and was surprised to see Tera there. She was in a terrible fury. Before I could even ask what was wrong she shoved a book into my chest and said, "Can you believe this shit??? Well I'm not standing for it!! I'm protesting this! I'm glad you came we'll make human chain at the front door". It wasn't a really effective protest as the Barnes and Noble we were at had four doors and we only blocked two of them. I'm not sure that most people even knew it was a protest. I think they thought we were just arguing. This conception was probably exacerbated by the fact that Tera kept yelling at me when ever anyone came through one of the other doors that I was "doing it wrong". Anyway, here's a picture of the book that set Tera off. She said they stole the title she was planning on using for her memoirs.

I don't travel a whole lot, but I did earlier this year and got turned around trying to find my hotel. I went into a grocery store to ask directions. I walked up to what looked like the most available employee which was at the bakery counter. I asked for some help with directions and got a glazed stare in return. Feeling awkward I glanced down and found a disturbing array of cakes that all featured bunnies. I asked what the deal was with the cakes and was told that it was Tuesday and if you wanted a cake on Tuesday you had to buy a bunny cake. I asked why and was given the glazed over stare again and then told in a very cold voice that, "Everyone likes bunnies!". I didn't want to argue, so I just repeated my request for directions. Her response was that she wasn't being paid to give directions and that she didn't do it for free. She then advised me to buy a Tom Tom and to have a nice day. Thanks Heather.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Life Imitates Art
One of the problems of my current job is that I've been pulled from the recesses of having my own office to having to sit with the commoners in the cubicle area. This means that I have less ability to spend hours talking on personal calls and write on my blog. It also means that I am more likely to have interractions with my fellow employees. I shout out random comments over the cubicle walls like, "I like cheese", and when one person asks a question over the walls to someone else I follow it up with a question like, "Employee Z, why do bad things happen?".

About a week and a half ago I made the statement that I wished we would stop doing cakes for people's birthdays since I don't have much of a sweet tooth (chocolate chip cookies excluded) and instead did nachos. The idea of nachos seemed to really resonate with my coworkers and the next thing you know a nacho potluck was being organized. There was a sign up sheet posted and it was given the title of Dagromm Appreciation Day. I couldn't believe that this had happened. Certainly Eslocura has some strong influence even all the way up into the far reaches of North Texas. When I returned to work after teh weekend a poster had been put up advertising Dagromm Appreciation Day with multiple pictures of yours truly and thought balloons making statements like, "I love cheese" and "I love me". Both of which are true.

So last Friday was Dagromm Day here at work and it was a huge success. Nothing brings the people together suppose. I gained a solid two pounds after consuming massive quantums of nachos and everyone was already making plans for the next one. The only embarrassing part was when the company owner came up and saw the sign with my picture all over it declaring it was my day. I felt bad because it was also his birthday and there wasn't nearly the same done to celebrate it.

Monday, October 08, 2007

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

If you like deviltry then you're probably a big fan of The Charlie Daniels Band and the Devil Went Down to Georgia. If you've never heard the song then feel free to enjoy.

If you do like this song then you probably also remember the more recent version done by the KMC KRU. It's so fresh I can hardly stand it. Uh uh uh uh. Sorry, I broke into the running man for a minute.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Time and Again

I'm not feeling too productive today. I find them times of intense activity and productivity are generally followed by times of intense inactivity and lack of productivity. This is one of those days. The necessities of the week have been met, and I'm done. There's plenty more for me to do, but mentally I'm on vacation.

I feel like I've been talking about the value of time a lot lately and certainly contemplating mortality brings that out in people, but hopefully it hasn't been too redundant. I thought I would spend a post listing some of the things that I think are an inordinate waste of my valuable life.

People stopped in the right lane at a traffic signal who are not going to turn right. These people should by and large be dragged from their massive SUV's and shot. You are wasting my life by sitting in front of me and holding me up.

Word Verification on comment pages. I don't know how many precious hours I've lost to this thing. I get them wrong all the time. I have yet to see any difference on my blog by not having it. Please get rid of them.

Customer Call Centers with automation instead of a live person that can quickly answer my questions.

Lines. Any of line that I have to stand in, is not a well organized event. I should never have to come to a complete stop. Ever.

The credit card pitch at the department store. I don't want it. Please don't beat me down at the register about it or ask me why I don't want to apply. It's none of your f'ing business. You need to be more concerned with how pissed I am that I had to stand in line for an extra five minutes to get to the register because you beat down every person in front of me with the same pitch.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Tera-rize Me

The current meme that's running rampant like VD in the Playboy Mansion has come back to haunt me again. This time I've been tied to the chair by Tera who has put the hot lamp in my face and put her cigarette butts out on the back of my hand until I came back with answers.

1. What is the one lesson that you've learned in life that has the biggest impact on you?
That the most valuable thing you will ever have is your time. This is one of those things that occured to me as I sit/stood bored to death in some menial minimum wage job when I was younger. I realized that I was basically selling my life away for $4.50 an hour. I look at everything I do now as a trade off of the limited amount of time I have on Earth and ask myself if it's worth it to me.

2. Write your epitaph.
Living easy, living free
Season ticket on a one-way ride
Asking nothing, leave me be
Taking everything in my stride
Don't need reason, don't need rhyme
Ain't nothing I would rather do
Going down, party time
My friends are gonna be there too

I'm on the highway to hell

3. In your estimation, what is the ideal vacation?
This is a great question and I'll tell you what I've been planning for a few years now. I feel that I've been too reclusive lately. My ideal vacation would be to get out of the House for a while and tour the world to see how Dagromm Day is celebrated by all the people's of the world. Can you imagine what a treat it would be for all the common folk around to get to see the REAL Dagromm on D-Day? I think it would be pretty special for everyone. From the noble houses of Puerto Rico to the shanties of.....well, probably Puerto Rico.

4. Your children ask you about the "birds and the bees," what do you tell them?
I tell them that we pay taxes so that teachers can answer those questions. Do I look like a trained educational professional?!???? What the hell are you learning in school anyway? Where's your homework? Let me see it!!! Clean your room!

5. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Since I can't decide on anything, I suppose I would make myself more decisive. No wait, maybe not. I'm not sure.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

I asked to be included in the newest interview chain on Eslocura's blog the other day as I love talking about myself. She responded magnificently and I will use this post to answer the interview questions that I was posed.

1) As queen of Puerto Rico, I have the power to declare "Dagromm Day", what special events/activities mark this auspicious occasion?

This is a great question Eslocura and I can only assume that you ask, because it was already being planned. I think that any Dagromm Day would have to include a large cook out/barbecue, because I like to chill at the grill and show my skill which is totally ill. A frisbee football tournament would be called for, because it would be a physical activity that doesn’t require too much athleticism and is exactly the kind of thing I excel at. Everyone would be required to walk around in only their bathing suits all day whether they live near water or not. This might not be a pretty sight every where, but it would be where ever I am!

2) This isn't an original question but I like it, so am using it. If you could meet one person from any era, who would it be and what would you ask him or her?

I’ve actually never been asked this question and there are several people through out history that I admire. Ben Franklin and Mark Twain both come to mind as being great and creative minds. J. K. Rowling would be fun to meet since I’m such a Harry Potter fan. Ultimately, I decided on Jenna Jameson. Besides being a parent like me; she’s rich, hot, and is a major player in the adult entertainment industry. All are things that I aspire to. I’d stand back, give her the look, and ask, “Would ya?”

3) As a family man, what words of wisdom or traits do you hope to teach your children?

I hope my kids learn about responsibility, compassion, problem solving, and confidence in their own potential. If they learn those things then I will feel successful as a parent.

4) Rumor has it that the "crotch wizards" are being closely monitored by special forces, with possible arrests imminent. Do you jump ship and take an "every wizard for himself stand" or go with "no man left behind" and why?

There is no question that any one of us would abandon ship at the slightest sign of trouble. Cyber D would be the one most likely to try and trip us on his way out the door. There is an old saying that when you and your friend are out camping in the woods and are attacked by an enraged bear. You don’t have to be able to out run the bear. You just have to be able to outrun your friend.

Why? Because as much as we all like each other we would also take pride in being the last living Crotch Wizard. I’ve already had my t-shirt printed up with that on it and prepared eulogies for the others. (Fingers crossed)

5) You found a magic mirror, it has the ability to let you see your future, would you want to see what it holds, and why or why not?

Without a doubt, I would look. The chance that it might help me to change things for the better would be to great a motivation. Even though it would show sad times I think it would also make several instances less scary, because I would know that things turn out ok.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Girls Soccer Update

Since I updated the boy's football yesterday, I thought I would update on the girl's soccer. My daughter is playing with two teams this season. The rec team which I coach and the Academy team which I relax and watch. They play different formats and there is only one other girl which is on both teams.

Our rec team started practicing over a month ago and we participated in a local tournament prior to the start of the season. It was a good experience, which is what people that get their asses kicked say to make themselves feel better. The truth is we are a third division that was playing a bunch of first division teams and the difference was noticeable. By the last game we were playing with more fire though and went into half time tied 1-1. In the end they pulled away, but the game was intense enough that I had to pull aside screaming parents from the other team after the game.

The tournament got the girls fired up and more focused after practice. It also showed me what things we needed to work on. We're now 3 games into our season and are undefeated. None of the games have been in any real question and although I don't know anything about our next opponent I think we have made great strides and have a very real chance of going 10-0. My daughter has played well. She's scored two goals and set up several others. The girls still have work to do, but look a lot more organized and confident out there. In our last game, I had to pull girls back from offense because we were up by so many goals.

The parents are of course thrilled that we've been looking so good, but I realize that we will likely be moving up a division or two next season and I don't want them to get overconfident. I also don't want the girls to get accustomed to being able to get away with sloppy play. They might be able to slide with it this season, but not against the good teams next time we play a tournament or move up. Oh well, it's a metered excitment.

The academy team has started out 0-2-1, but has been showing improvement each week. I know it's killing the coach that she only has one evening a week to work with the girls, but I'm ok with the results so far. Most of the girls are going to quit playing with their rec teams next season to concentrate on the Academy team, but I don't think that's going to be the case with us. My daughter likes her rec team, and I enjoy coaching too much. Besides I think that the best teacher for the game is playing the game so the more the better.

In the first game with the Academy team the girl looked uncomfortable and got herself out of position a number of times. By midway through the second game I could see that she was making the adjustments and was placing herself well and becoming more involved. In the third game she had an assist and took a couple of shots that went wide. One of them just barely. It's fun for me to see her continue to figure things out and progress out there. She is by far the littlest one on the field as she's playing up a year, but she's starting to assert herself in the game.

For anyone that wants to keep up with the Academy team you can find their results here. The academy team that she is on is called The Reds of Liverpool.

OK, I'm done with proud daddy talk.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

It's the Sport of Kings, Better Than Diamond Rings, Football

I've had lots of questions in regards to the kids and how their sports seasons are going. I'm glad to say that my son is enjoying football immensely and really considers himself a football player now. The constant workouts have gotten him into good shape, his team has made him feel wlecome and his coaches have been demanding but encouraging.

His team is loaded and is certainly one of the best teams in the league. Currently they're in first place at 5-0. Their defense only this week actually gave up some points. Prior to that the only touchdown was from an interception.

The first game of the season started off roughly for the boy, but he's made progress since then. Game one began like this.
Kick to the other team.
Defense holds the other team from getting a first down and the offense takes the field. (The boy plays offensive line)
1st play for the offense, whistled dead, flags fly, False Start offense, Coach yells, "Dagromm!!!!" I sink a little bit into my place on the bleachers.
2nd play for the offense, whistled dead, flags fly, False Start offense, Coach yells, "Dagromm!!!!" I sink further down into the bleachers. The boy gets pulled and his replacement goes in.
3rd play for the offense, whistled dead, flags fly, False Start offense, I cheer maniacally for the kid that isn't mine that got the penalty. The boy gets sent back in.
4th play for the offense, whistled dead, flags fly, False Start offense, Coach yells, "Dagromm!!!!" I deflate again.
5th play for the offense, they get the play off, the running back breaks free. The defense which has by this time been lulled to sleep doesn't react in time. Touchdown.

I heard the Dagromm name yelled out about five more times that game. Not for more penalties, but for not having his shoes tied, or for failing to go on the field because he was too busy staring at the cheerleaders that were standing directly behind the bench. When the lead got insurmountable in the fourth, I finally exhaled and was able to enjoy myself.

Each week has been been better and he hasn't had a penalty the last couple of games. For anyone that would like to keep up with how the team is doing or is in the NoTex area and wants to come by and watch them play then here is the website.

He is in the 11-12 age group and his team name is the Colts. They usually update the scores from the previous Sunday late in the week, so although it says 4-0, they are actually 5-0. I think there's also a link on there somewhere to the team website, but I haven't looked for it yet.

Late addition - I just looked at the team Myspace page. Here it is for those interested in seeing some of the pics from their Homecoming this last weekend.

Monday, September 24, 2007

And at long last we reach the conclusion my friends. When we left off the story of the tumultuous weekend that Q and I shared as our alter egos (Rod Ecstasy and Skip McBoner) the sound of approaching sirens could be heard outside of the blood spattered warehouse where we found ourselves. Skip was kneeling over the headless corpse of Barbara Bush sobbing uncontrollably, and apparently under the mistaken impression that she was Lady Bird Johnson. So I give you the thrilling and heart wrenching conclusion.

Part 24

The Big Send Off

We'd been set up and I knew it. The events of the past 36 hours swam through my head in a dizzying blur. Possibly it was the after effects of the mickey that I was still feeling. Regardless the feds were closing in and it was a perfect trap. We were done for. I tried to get Skip to help me figure something out, but all he could do was whimper and keep repeating, "I'm so sorry Ladybird. You're a hero to me."

I steeled myself for what I knew I must do. I could hear the brakes squealing outside and the cars coming to a stop. Any minute they would be storming inside. I walked around the room and slowly pulled the police issued Beretta M9-92FS pistol from my waist band. I placed the barrel to the back of Skip's skull and thought momentarily about Of Mice and Men. "Don't worry Skip. We'll raise bunnies, and there won't ever be any trouble," I whispered. The gun recoiled sharply as I unloaded 5 quick shots into my friend. Then quicker than a greased panther I placed the gun into what was left of his burned and mangled hand.

As the federal agents burst through the door I threw up my hands and yelled, "Don't shoot. Don't shoot!!! He was crazy. Murder suicide!!! Murder suicide!!!! It's real popular now a days!! So that's what he did! Blame video games not me!!!" Unfortunately as I raised my hands the tattered remains of my Kevlar vest lifted far enough for the feds to see the plastic explosive that I still had strapped to my torso. My last few moments on earth were spent thinking how Butch and Sundance went out better than George and Lennie and how I wish that had occurred to me earlier. The bullets riddled my body at that moment and my meticulously chiseled physique was torn asunder. It actually might have been torn some other way, but I don't any other way in which things are torn, except asunder.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

We Apologize for The Interruption

Life has gotten hectic. You will be returned to your regularly scheduled program shortly.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I will now continue the telling of the epic travels that Q and I underwent this weekend past. We traveled into the wee hours of the night finally arriving in our destination, Shreveport by cover of darkness. As we did so we shed our normal lives to travel as our alternate persona's Ecstasy and McBoner. I was successfully laying my game down when I saw my compatriot in obvious distress. Thus I give you:

Confessions Part II

The Travails of Rod and Skip. Two Men. One Mission.

I hurried across the packed club to Skip's side. The crowd parted before me like the Red Sea for Moses, such is the respect that Rod Ecstasy commands. As I approached I saw where his glazed over gaze was looking. Standing on the other side of the club beyond the sea of writhing bodies was a woman unlike any other. She had an exotic look, as if every nation of the world had sacrificed their most beautiful women to a mad experiment that would combine them all. Who ever the Dr. Frankenstein was that concocted this woman in his lab was surely a genius.

"What's wrong Skip?" I asked. "It's time to make your move". Skip couldn't answer me though, all he could do was give that "deer in headlights" look and shake his head. I tried to break through, "This isn't a question of should you. You have to". He merely looked pleadingly at me at and said he couldn't. He had met his match. I assumed that meant he was out of money or that she was too expensive. "That's loser talk man!!! Skip McBoner and Rod Ecstasy are not losers! Do you think I could have accumulated such a vast fortune and become an industrialist magnate if I was scared to take chances? No. And couldn't have traveled the world rescuing invaluable treasures from the booby trapped tombs where they lie if you were scared to make a move! This is going to happen."

Skip looked at me and as our eyes met they turned to steely resolve. He knew what had to come next. We had learned long ago from Maverick in Top Gun that to get a woman as foxy as Kelly McGillis all you had to do was sing. It was an undeniable truth. It is an aphrodisiac so strong that it cannot be resisted. Much like Funky Cold Medina.

We took the microphone and the lights dimmed across the room except where we stood. The DJ spoke over the awed crowd, "Tonight we have a special group that is going to perform for you. First I'd like to introduce Rod Ecstasy". There was a smattering of applause. They couldn't believe that it was really me. I knew they would tell their kids and grand kids about this one day. The DJ continued, "Performing with him is Rod McEcstasy." What the fuck? Skip just walked on up as if nothing had happened.

"No! No! He's not Rod McEcstasy! He's Skip McBoner! I'm Rod Ecstasy."

The DJ wanted to be a dick, "The card says McEcstasy. let's give it up for them".

"Well the card's wrong. I'm Rod Ecstasy!! Me!!" I protested as the crowd looked on clearly getting confused. I tried to straighten it out for everyone but the music began. What I had requested was You Lost That Lovin Feelin' by the Righteous Brothers. What I got was Make it Rain by Fat Joe. This DJ obviously was confused. No matter. I hit the ground running and Skip joined in on the chorus:

Yeah, I'm in this bitch for terror
Got a handful of stacks
Better grab an umbrella
I make it rain, I make it rain

Then in a moment of serendipity Skip and the DJ instinctively changed tunes the second time through the chorus. As soon as we reached the word umbrella, Skip immediately twice echoed the last two syllables and took it into Rihanna's Umbrella. This left me singing Chris Brown's part. Not exactly the partner I would have chosen for this song but as we closed out the song we were met with a calamitous round of applause. I knew it was a success even as Skip and I made our way towards his exotic prize and my waiting bronzed goddess. We weren't past all of the hurdles yet though and the next one was making a beeline towards us with heart full of hate.

Monday, August 20, 2007

So, I've gotten about 239 e-mails asking me about the weekend trip with Q. Most of them were from Q's mom who doesn't trust his version of events. Some of them were from Federal Agents trying to get me to admit too much. Still others were from you the concerned and loving Blog United Nations. I received e-mails from as near as fellow North Texans to as far away as South Texas. So wait no longer, sit back and I will tell you of a journey so harrowing and momentous it could only be called...

The Opus of Ecstasy and McBoner

It began on Friday evening as I met Q at his fortress on the corner. I don't know if he has ever mentioned this, but the Q family are reputed land barons in North Texas and so there was plenty of room for me to leave my Mustang dripping oil while we were away. Q was antsy to get going. I had almost made it to the door with my bag in hand when he came bursting out the other way pointing to his fleet of vehicles. He chose a shiny SUV. Nice but subdued so as not to garner too much attention. Good choice.

We set a course for Shreveport, Louisiana aka Cajun Vegas. It was a few hours of driving before we approached the state line and darkness had already fallen. As we entered Waskom we pulled into the Dairy Queen parking lot. Just a few scant miles from the state border. We pulled out our wallets and slid the I.D.s from their protective sleeves. They went into the glove compartment along with my wedding ring and Q's "Wham #1 Fan" button that he almost always wears. We changed clothes. Me into my silk shirt and pinstripe suit. Q into his tweed jacket, tie, and corduroy pants. As he placed his worn leather hat upon his head the transformation was complete. We were no longer Dagromm and Q. We had assumed the identities that we always do when we cross state lines. I became Rod Ecstasy, playboy billionaire, and industrialist magnate. Q as always was Skip McBoner, archaeologist adventurer and world traveler.

Before anyone could see what we had done we slipped from the shadows and proceeded across the border to the state with no remorse, Louisiana. It was about 11:00 as we approached the riverfront where all of the happening clubs are. We passed the Casinos, that could wait, and went to a club called Kokopellis. It was full to the brim, but there's always room when Rod and Skip are at the door.

As we entered I quickly spotted a bronzed beauty eyeballing me from the bar. Normally I would shun such advances, but Rod Ecstasy doesn't let opportunities pass him by. Rod Ecstasy lives every moment to the fullest. I sat next to her and ordered a drink and one for the lady. While the buxom barmaid filled our orders I introduced myself.

"Hi there, I'm Rod Ecstasy, playboy billionaire and industrialist magnate. You've probably heard of me. I just happen to be in town for a few days before I fly out to the Orient to close a big business deal. I live for the moment. How about you?" Smooth. She was gobbling up what I was setting down.

The barmaid returned with our drinks and a bill for $17.50. I pulled my wallet out and looked at the expectant server with the eyes of my gorgeous target on me, "You do take Diner's Club right? No?????? Well, I guess I'll have to pay with my check card from my untraceable Swiss Bank account. What, you don't take that either?" I quickly empty my glass. " You see I just arrived into the country and don't have much American money on me. If you take Russian rubles then I've got enough on me to pay for the drinks and the rest of the club on top of that." The saucy bartender shoots something back at me about not accepting rubles and some nonsense about a currency called "Euros". I just shrug and turn to my ardent admirer. "If you can cover this, I guarantee I'll make it up to you on my private jet". She looks at me in disbelief. Obviously she can't believe her own good luck. She's a smart girl though and pays for the drinks. An investment in her future if you will.

As I chat to the lady of the night my gaze wanders across the room and something is dreadfully wrong. Where is my companion? I finally spotted him standing in a corner looking thunderstruck. I let my lady know that I have to check on my friend and that I'll be right back...

Friday, August 17, 2007

This is Why, This is Why, This is Why I'm Hot

Hot excited? Hot sexy? Hot happening? Hell yeah!

I've continued to keep up the momentum from Susan's ten pound challenge and have exceeded my target. That's how I do. I've now lost over thirteen pounds and the jeans that had gotten too uncomfortably tight now fit very comfortably again. My diet on a normal workday goes something like this.

Breakfast - Fruit (banana, pear, plum, whatever I have on hand at the time)
Mid-morning snack - Dry cereal and cranberries. Right now the cereal is Special K, but it varies with what's on sale.
Lunch-some sort of protein drink. I've gotten used to the Myoplex Light.
Afternoon snack - Snickers Energy Bar or crackers or raisins.
Dinner - Grilled meat, veggies.

I don't kill myself with the diet. It does vary and I don't deny myself something I want. When people at the office bring in stuff (donuts, kolaches, etc.) I'll still help myself, but I monitor how much I take. I also am a less disciplined on weekends and really whenever I feel like it, but so far I haven't had much trouble sticking to this.

Anyway, I've gotten leaner and am feeling pretty good about it.

Shifting gears roughly, soccer practices have geared back up this week. We've got three new girls on the team, all with previous experience and from what I've seen so far we're going to be a tough team to beat. I'm upset with the league about not placing one of our returning players back with us that registered during late registration saying that they had alreaady filled her spot. We were willing as a team to play up a year to have more roster spots, but in the end the league pulled the rug out from us on that one too. So we will have to wait a season or two to get her back. I'm so excited about getting this season going and finally getting to see the girls in action and figuring out what they need to work on. My daughter is also excited, because she loves to compete and recognizes that the team is getting better.

Hear that? That's the transmission trying to handle me very poorly dropping the clutch and shifting gears again. The boy got his football jersey last night. My wife says that he was looking anxious when they were handing them out and was possibly afraid he wasn't going to get one. He was proud of his jersey with the Dagromm name on the back. I admit they look nice. I'm sorely disappointed that they've scheduled a "preseason game" this weekend that I will miss. I am excited however about my weekend plans. Q and I have our annual trip to Shreveport scheduled already and we can't disappoint the bookies! Cyber D used to come with us every year, but he has submitted to the dominating authority of his wife and doesn't come any more. I on the other hand retain my manhood and go where I please when I please!

Dagromm Out!!!!!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Some Decisions

I've made a few decisions that I thought I'd share. First of all Lasic surgery is for losers. I like contacts and glasses. I get to change up my look. Sometimes I look like the professor with the smokin' hot bod. Other times I'm the sporty looking guy with the smokin' hot bod. So, you can keep your stupid Lasic surgery. I don't need it.

Next, big screen hi-def plasma T.V.'s suck. It totally ruins the look of your room when you can't have that massive space consuming entertainment center. Where are you gonna store all of those old VHS tapes??? Sure you could still put the T.V. on an entertainment center, but then you're just being stupid. So they suck.

Third, new luxury cars BLOW. Why would you want to drive some comfy shiny piece of crap when you could be like a real American and drive a shitty old Mustang? I believe that every trip should be an adventure and there's no bigger adventure then not knowing if you're going to make it to your destination every time you strap the seat belt on. So you can keep your Cadillacs, Mercedes, BMW's, etc. I'm not interested.

Lobster dinners at fancy restaraunts are awful. Who would want that? Not me, I tell you.

Playstation 3's? Garbage.

Stays at resorts and spas? Crap.

Having people cook, clean, do your lawn? Stupid. Really really stupid. Just so stupid!!!

Monday, August 13, 2007

A Bunny Pic

I took this shot a while back on with the Mint Chocolate by LG phone that I carry. I know how the group likes their bunny pictures and thought of my blog friends when I was at the costume shop and saw this.

Why was I at the costume shop? Don't judge me!

Friday, August 10, 2007


If you like your westerns with a Muy Thai twist then this movie is for you. Loads of action scenes, the likes of which seem to make perfect sense in foreign movies. As opposed to other westerns in which the hero rides in on a huge white stallion, this hero rides in standing on a rocket! He then commits to kicking so much ass that this movie can't help but be a winner.

Mix in a villainous tractor dealer, mystics with magical powers, and the threat of a cannibalistic evil henchman and this movie has all of the ingredients for a recurring franchise. I know what you're thinking, "This sounds exactly like Unforgiven", but trust me it's different.

So, when you get the chance add Dynamite Warrior to your online movie que, get your curry noodles ready, sit back and enjoy. This movie earns a solid A-.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

If Your Actions Inspire Others

Well blog folk, I have to admit that I am impressed and somewhat concerned that I have inspired so many of you to take up the dangerous pastime of storm chasing. I have received numerous e-mails from around the world with your own pictures of Mother Nature dressed in her most wicked of clubbing clothes bringing her wrath down upon the world. I just urge you all to consider your own safety first and don't feel that you have to live up to my example of daring. It's too much to attempt.

The first picture comes from the D.C. area. It appears that the photographer has taken to higher ground to get this pic which of course has it's pros and cons. I myself prefer to stay at "ground zero" for my pictures, but I don't fault anyone for looking for protective cover.

The next picture comes courtesy of Eslocura. I know that Cyber D protested this picture saying that the American government had put a stop to Puerto Rico getting rainbows anymore. As soon as he saw it he was on the phone calling Congressman and Senators to try and get this idea enacted.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007


The boy has completed 1 1/2 weeks of practice for football now. The first week was all conditioning and basics. This week has been in full gear with hitting. Practice #1 was fine. The second practice was fine as well. The third practice he lost his helmet at the field somewhere. Not a good night for the boy as he had to endure some Dagrommian fury at it's worst. The fourth practice his coach brought the helmet which he had found, and the boy had to run more laps than any football player, ever. Punishment for losing his helmet and for not paying enough attention to the drills. The fifth practice was full contact and had some tackling/hitting drills. The boy got lit up. Repeatedly. He made one tackle to which everyone really cheered him. Otherwise he was blown up by the other kids. Everything you could do wrong in trying to tackle someone he did. Poor form, too high, tentative, lack of power. It looked painful. Repeatedly. Yesterday he made two tackles at practice and felt that he did better. He still got blown up a lot. The team gave him an ovation at the end of practice for his effort. The coach told him that if he didn't quit before the first game then he would buy him dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Now he's motivated. Hell, if I'd thought of it I'd have told the kid to attack the others like they were made of mole sauce. He loves himself some Mexican food.

Two more practices to go this week. Here's hoping he figures it out before he gets himself killed.

Friday, August 03, 2007

If I Ever Go To Prison (again)...

let it please be in the Philipines.

Ahhhh Yes. The Old Make a Movie Out of a Syndicated TV Show Trick!

I was all set to blog about any number of different ideas and notes that I've been meaning to get to for a while when I stumbled across this news last night and had to look for more information.

This has potential to be really good or really terrible. I like the cast so far, I'm just worried about the writing/directing.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Night Time Thoughts

I've stated before that I believe that we all have moments of clarity when the great morass of daily life clears and we suddenly can see things for what they truly are. The mist parts and in seeing the truth we become strong. These moments are sometimes accompanied with great surges of thought, feeling, or determination.

I had one of those moments last night as a I lay in bed. Something about laying in the darkness, with the sheets only partially covering me, and the overhead fan sending waves of air to brush my skin put my mind and heart traveling down the path to clarity. As I said, these moments are accompanied by different thoughts and feelings that have probably been bottled up or obscured for any length of time. I find at these times that the things that are truly important to me come to the forefront of my thought. I realize how grateful I should be for these things and people.

As I lay there many of thoughts took the form of a poem in my head. This happens frome time to time, and I almost never share them. Poems are a very personal form of art and expression. People get very judgemental with things like that and I tend not to want to expose my emotions to these criticisms. I have the utmost respect for those that are brave enough to do this. I find that I am just as judgemental as those I fear, but I credit the individual for being strong enough to put it out there. So it with hesitancy and trepidation that I share with you the poem that flooded my thoughts as I lay in bed last night. If you feel that you will not be able to read it without caustic sentiment or simply don't want to see this side of me then by all means do not proceed.

I know that you are not good for me.
You are a desire
And yet you flood my mind.
I dream of embracing you.
That moment when my lips make contact
and the universe explodes.
Even though you are not here
I imagine your essence and
your scent seems to linger in the air.
The wait for morning is agony.
I long for the time when I can reach out and make contact.
I know that I am not the only one who has eyes for you.
Louche contemplations.
There are others who will get to you before me.
I've come to grips with that,
But I cannot deny what I know in my heart.
I need you.
And so I will stand in line if need be.
I will wait for my opportunity.
And when that time comes and
Those quizzical eyes turn to me.
My stomach will churn with anticipation and
I will proudly announce to the world
That I will wait no longer for you
Meatball Sub.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Information You Need To Know

Here at the House of Dagromm, we try to keep our readers up to date with the latest information so that they can live the most complete lives possible. According to it takes two hours of vigorous sexual activity to burn off one can of coke.

FYI, I'm about to consume a twenty four pack of coke.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Welcome to Texas Football

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before on the blog or not, but my 11 year old son has decided that he wanted to play tackle football this year. On one hand this isn't a huge surprise because he has shown interest in it previously when he was playing soccer and we shared the youth football team that was all in pads and helmets. On the other hand it is surprising, because I'm not sure that he has ever watched more than twenty minutes of football his entire life combined. I don't think he can name more than two positions or tell you how the game is scored. He did play some flag football through the YMCA a while back, and maybe he has some lingering affection from that time.

So this weekend he had try outs for youth football. This was the final weekend for tryouts. It lasts three weeks to get all of the kids in. Now don't get me wrong everybody gets put on a team, but this is Texas and we apparently take 6th grade football pretty damn seriously. Try outs lasted two hours Saturday. After registering, he was weighed in, interviewed by coaches of every team individually, ran a 40 yard dash in which his time was announced to the crowd (yes, the crowd), caught a pass, threw a pass, tackled a dummy, and then was finally sent on his way. The next day the coaches from the different teams get together and draft their teams. They only get to keep two kids from the previous year so I guess the teams change regularly.

Much to my dismay, I've also come to find out that the teams practice two hours a day four days a week. I'm having a lot of trouble with this time commitment that they are expecting. I already know my kid's going to have to miss practice every Tuesday for dance class. I guess I'll have that conversation with the coach today, as practices and conditioning are already starting. I might not actually mention the words "ballet" or "jazz dance".

Friday, July 27, 2007

More Text Pics

Since there's been such a ground swell of interest about the text messages and pictures that get shared between the Crotch Wizards I thought that I would pull back the curtain, as they say, and give the fans a glimpse at the never before seen inner workings of the group. In this House of Dagromm exclusive you the normal human mortal will get a chance to permeate some of the secret mechanisms that transpire between the Crotch Wizards. The two text message pics that you will see were sent by Dagromm himself by cell phone to one of his lieutenants in the Crotch Wizards, Q. The reason? It's hard to say, but it is suspected that Q is the only one of the group whose phone is set up to receive the pictures.

The first one was sent in June.

Big Kisses?

The second one was sent on July 12th of this year.

Thinking of you.

Much like the mystery surrounding Stone Henge and Easter Island, people will speculate for years what the ramifications of these messages truly are. Do they allude to knowledge of a higher power? Are they part of some secret language or code that can't be unlocked without the discovery of a Rosetta Stone? Does this mean there is intelligent life on other planets? Will David Faustino ever get another television show?

The world may never know.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

What Season Is It?

Well summer obviously, but it is also baseball season. It's the beginning of football preseason. Very very close to soccer season. And for Q, it's stalking season. I've been hearing the adds on the radio for what I know is going to be an irrestable draw for the Q....

That's right the ever so sweet and clean former star of Trading Spaces is in NoTex singing show tunes. Two of Q's biggest obsessions; Paige Davis and show tunes. This combination will be like cocaine to an addict like Q.

Monday, July 23, 2007

To Answer Nina's Question

I finished the book last night. I'm going to be somewhat busy this morning, but anybody who wants to talk about it, we can discuss in the comments section. For those who don't want to read spoilers then please avoid the comments section. I'm talking to you Gyuss and Cyber D.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

A Few Tidbits That Don't Individually Rank Needing Their Own Blog Posts

I went to a minor league ball game with my son, my dad, and Q the other day and had a great time. It's one of the perks of the new job, that I get tickets once in a while for the games with a parking pass that is right next to the stadium and free food and drinks. Minor league games attract a different crowd than major league games (read: more women) and the set up in Frisco is really top notch. The stadium is really nice and they have lots of entertainment in between innings. My favorite part was when my dad and son started slam dancing to Take Me Out To The Ball Game during the 7th inning stretch. The fireworks show afterwards was good too.

It's almost soccer season again and I am getting ramped up. I received an e-mail from the parent of a former player. Her daughter has decided that she wants to play soccer again and wants to be back on my team. I was thrilled when I got the message. She was one of our weaker players, but I feel really good that she wanted to come back and especially wanted to come back to my team.

My son wants to take up pee wee football. Try outs are next weekend. I'm scared to death, but I'm proud of him for giving it a shot.

I've now settled on a title for the film about my life story. It will tentatively be titled, "Suburban Pimp". I am thinking that when the beginning credits roll they will be accompanied by the Sugar Hill Gang's "Apache".

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Two more days until I go to great lengths to shut myself off from the outside world and devour the last Harry Potter book. I've been preparing for months now. Over the last three months I've re-read the entire series and watched several of the movies so that I was properly primed for the last installment.

Now, I am ready to make some predictions for the final book. If you don't like to speculate on such things then don't read any further. I wouldn't call these spoilers by any means as J.K. Rowling has a proven track record of out thinking me.

Let's start with Dumbledore is alive. At first I felt very strongly that he was dead, because if he is indeed dead then Jo has said explicitly that there is no coming back. I spoke with Pokiman about it and so I will add his input too, because I think he brought up some good points. So here is the corroborating set up. In the first Potions lessons' in book 1 & 5 numerous potions were named. One of them was named in both lessons. It is also the only one that hasn't made an appearance in the books one way or the other the entire time. That potion is the Draught of Living Death which produces a powerful sleeping potion. So the set up was complete to fake a death. If Voldemort thought he was dead then Draco would be safe and Dumbledore would want that.

The set up continued with the discussion of non-verbal spells. A decent amount of time was spent on explaining them and giving them due notice. This never came to fruition in this book either. Jo doesn't normally leave loose threads or waste time writing about something that has no consequence. I think however it did come into play. We just weren't made aware of it.

When Snape performed the killing curse, Dumbledore was blasted from the top of the tower, but that is not what the Avada Kedavra does. When the Avada Kedavra is performed then the people just fall dead where they are with no sign of anything having been done. So it would seem that Snape actually performed a different spell nonverbally and just said the words for the killing curse. This would make it appear that Dumbledore was killed and get him safely out of the way of the Death Eaters.

As far as falling to his death from the top of the tower I don't think that was the case either. We already know of about half a dozen flying things in and around Hogwarts that could have caught/saved Dumbledore. There are brooms, thestrals, the Ford Anglia, Sirius Black's motorcycle, flying carpets, Fawkes, and the Wingardium Leviosa charm.

Of course if all of this is true then I am also making the prediction that Snape is not on the side of Voldemort. For this I would point to the fact that Snape has not killed Harry or any of his friends this entire time. I think we will find out why Dumbledore trusted him when nobody else did and that he will be vindicated. Even after supposedly killing Dumbledore he didn't try to hurt Harry even thought htey were in a direct conflict.

I haven't heard any spculation on this next part, but this hit me a little while back. We know that Voldemort is a descendent of Salazar Slytherin. It has been inferred that Harry might be a descendent of Gryffindor as his parents lived in Godric's Hollow and he was able to pull the sword from the sorting hat. Is it possible then that his friends are also descendents of famous wizards? Could Hermione be from the line of Ravenclaw and Ron from Hufflepuff? They certainly display the qualities that those houses are known for. I don't have any proof to support those ideas, but I think it's an interesting thought.

R.A.B. could be Regulus, Sirius Black's brother, but could also be the missing partner from Borgin and Burkes. The owners of the dark wizard shop would be in prime position to know what Voldemort was up to. They also were the only other people we heard of that knew about the now missing locket. This could be the reason that we've only ever seen one of the owners of the shop as the other one was killed. The locket itself does seem to be in Grimmauld Place as there is mention of a heavy locket during the cleaning of the house.

As far as who lives and dies. I don't know. I expect that Voldemort must die. I don't know about anyone else. Neville and the Weasley family seem like prime targets for death. Luna and Cho have outside shots of getting killed as well. I don't know whether the final conflict will be a large scale battle or a more intimate affair, but I'm full of anticipation waiting for Friday night.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

A Dangerous Hobby

I've taken up a new hobby over the last few months that I thought I would share with everyone. I've taken up storm chasing. For those who don't know storm chasing is the hobby where instead of moving away from storms I follow them to try and get as close as I can to the action and maybe try to get some good pictures of the action. In the tornado alley of North Texas this can get pretty hairy. If you've ever watched the movie Twister then you know what I'm talking about.

There are different types of storm chasers. Just like everything else different things appeal to different people. Some times geography, etc. come into play as well. Some people follow hurricanes, some tornados, some people even look for tsunamis and hail storms. We're all basically the same though. We accept the inherent danger in what we do and forge ahead because of our passion.

I recently asked Q to help me to get some of my pictures from my chsing off of my phone and onto the computer so that I can share them with you, my extended blog family. He has obliged and now I will share a couple with you. Enjoy.

This first one was a picture I took a couple of months ago. After we were hit by what seemed to be the 100th rain of the summer. I don't think the picture truly conveys the immense size of what I was facing or how fully formed it was. That's one of the challenges of storm chasing though, so I'm still proud of what I got.

The second picture was taken while I was in hot pursuit. As you can see the local law enforcement was trying to keep people away for their own safety. This bad boy ranked as an F-4 class rainbow and it's amazing that I was able to get this close to it.

Monday, July 16, 2007

The Greatest and Best Rap Group of All Time

I did a lot of driving this weekend. And when I do a lot of driving I do a lot of thinking. And when I do a lot of thinking I think about how I would construct the greatest rap group ever. Then I think about all the fly lyrics and def beats we would drop. My picks to make up my super group of rap would include

Chuck D
Chuck D has probably the best voice of any rapper ever. It's clear and commanding. He has already been part of one of the best rap groups ever and this would be the opportunity to get to even greater heights.
Mike D

As a member of the Beastie Boys for the last 20 years. Mike has helped to create new sounds and styles that have kept them relavant far longer than most musical performers.

Heavy D

Every rap group needs a guy that can spit lyrics at a faster pace than most mere mortals. The diddly diddly diddly D is exactly the guy to do it for the greatest rap group of all time.


Eminem put this group together and I think we can all agree that he knows a little something about rap. Additionally these guys will add to the fear factor that rap groups need to keep the suckas straight.


Completely bad ass rap groups have a chick to kick out some vocals for their hype hooks (C&C Music Factory?). Deelight has made a career out of doing just that.

Tenacious D

This awesome power of a rap group would certainly want to do some rap/metal crossover stuff and adding Tenacious D would allow them to do just that.

There it is. I don't think it gets any better than that. Sorry Cyber D. You didn't make the cut.
Once More With Feeling

Back by Popular Demand, we will play

Who Am I
The rules are the same as last time. I will post a quote and you get to guess in the comments section. We'll see if anyone besides Q knows this one.

Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here, this was my dream, my wish, and it didn't come true. So I'm takin' it back. I'm takin' 'em all back.

This one is probably pretty easy too. I guess we'll see.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Who am I?

It's been awhile since we played thise guessing game on the blog. So in this game I will give you the clues and you (the lucky reader) get to take guesses in comments section. This time around I am going to change things up and I want you to name the fictional character that said these lines:

And look. Fish. The fish eat the fish food, and the shark eats the fish, but nobody eats a shark.

See, this is Pez.Candy. You see, you eat it. You put the candy in here, and when you lift the head, the candy comes out. You want some?

This is a peanut. You eat it. But you can't eat this one 'cause this is fake.

This is money. You see? We put the money in the peanut. You see. Bank.

So there you are. Take your guesses. I think one of you super smart readers will probably get this pretty quickly.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Hurry Up and Weight

That's what my summer up to this point has felt like. To much to do, not enough time, and crummy weather that hinders decisions and capabilities. The rain that has beset North Texas for the last month has pushed back plans including my own exercise plans. Even with hardly having any opportunities to work out and swim I was glad to find that I've lost an additional 3 pounds. I'm super excited as I'm now just 1.82 pounds from sheer physical perfection. I've been practicing my display poses in front of the bathroom mirror already. It looks awesome.

The rain has also caused a plethora of mosquitos. Every time I go out to grill or practice soccer I get multitudes of bites all over my legs. Luckily for me, I heal from mosquito bites within an hour and they don't linger. Just the same it's overly annoying and there are few things in the world that I hate more than mosquitos. Some of those things are Gyuss Baaltar, and....... Well Gyuss Baaltar.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Muchos Movies
Summertime is movie time so I will indulge you/me with a little more exposition on the subject.
The first is a movie that once again I beat Gyuss to seeing. I actually saw it a couple of weeks ago with the family. It's probably one of the most anticipated movies of the year and you've probably been surprised not to see a review of it already. The movie that I am speaking of is of course Nancy Drew. This movie stars Emma Roberts who looks like an Anne Hathaway starter kit. It tries to play up Nancy as an ideal from another time who is somewhat out of place in current day, but still of course comes out on top. It just doesn't do it as successfully as previous movies like the Brady Bunch Movie. In fact I'm now thinking that I will enjoy the Hardy Boys Movie more. This movie was not that funny, cute, or mysterious but it did have Rachel Leigh Cook and that alone will get it an A-. I love you R.L.C. Call me.

The next movie was one I watched last night, Shooter. It's a movie that's got some moments of creativity and also got big glaring plot holes that are tough to overlook. It's a decent watch if you don't want to think too much and like playing 1st person shooter video games. The other plusses to the movie are that it it's pretty damning of the Bush Administration, it has Marky Mark, and probably best of all it has Rhona Mitra (Boston Legal, Ali G Indahouse). Those three things vault this movie to a strong A-. When ever I see her I think that she's wearing the "Keep it real" panties that she wore in Ali G. Is that just me? I love you Rhona. Call me.
Lastly is a movie that I will soon be renting. I haven't actually seen it yet, but I will of that you can be sure. Much like Transmorphers coming out on video in time to try and catch some of the Transformers spill over I have found the movie that is coming out for rent just in time to catch some of the Harry Potter spill over. Before Rupert Grint landed the set-for-life pay day playing the best friend of Harry Potter he starred in Thunderpants playing the best friend of a kid that farts a lot. This movie also has Ned Beatty and Paul Giamatti. Here is the plot outline from IMDB. An 11-year-old boy's amazing ability to break wind leads him first to fame and then to death row, before it helps him to fulfill his ambition of becoming an astronaut. That gets a pre-emptive A-. I love you Rupert. Call me.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Which ElfQuest Character Are You? (FEMALE)

You are Kahvi; the violent one!
Take this quiz!


Make A Quiz More Quizzes Grab Code

A Day Earlier Than Most

July 3rd. Mark it down. The day that mi familia went to see Transformers. This means that I saw it a full day before some of my Blog counterparts. I'm not saying that makes me better or anything. It's just one of many things that makes me better. I can prove my claim too. While sitting in the theater waiting for the movie to start and perusing the crowd I sent the following text message to Q at 8:19 PM July 3rd: "Hot girls don't go to see Transformers". His response dated 8:20 PM July 3rd: "Hahahahahahaha. No shit! Nerdy guys do". So there it is Gyuss. 2nd place again.

Anyway on to the review. Pretty good. Not as good as the live action Transformers movie I made with my friend 's video camera when I was 11, but whatever. Maybe they didn't have my budget for black cat firecrackers. My daughter spent the entire time pointing out everybody in the movie that has also been on a Disney Channel show. There were four of them by her count. Shia LeBeouf was terrific in Even Stephens, awesome in Holes, outstanding in Charlie's Angels 2, and pretty good in this. He's a disarmingly funny actor.

In fact it's good enough that I might say this is the best Tyrese movie ever. I know that others will argue that 2 Fast 2 Furious was good 2, but I disagree.

Megan Fox is awfully pretty in this flick and so is Rachael Taylor as the really hot Australian that works for the U.S. Department of Defense. As if we'd ever let an Aussie inside our inner defenses. Those people were sent there because they're criminals. We're not that dumb.

So anyway where was I.....Oh yeah, Anthony Anderson looked good too, but I didn't like the Portis jersey he was sporting the whole time. That's going to date this movie pretty quickly. Ummmmm.....Jon Voight looked kinda good I guess. Man I need to kick this up a notch

Oh got it!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

The cars turn into robots, and apparently don't think to much of humans.

So that's an A-. I guess.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

I'm Dumbledore Bitches!!

You scored as Albus Dumbledore, Strong and powerful you admirably defend your world and your charges against those who would seek to harm them. However sometimes you can fail to do what you must because you care too much to cause suffering.

Albus Dumbledore


Hermione Granger


Remus Lupin


Draco Malfoy


Harry Potter


Sirius Black


Ron Weasley


Severus Snape


Lord Voldemort


Ginny Weasley


Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with
Summer Blockbuster

I love this time of year! It's when Hollywood goes nuts and puts out spectacle they think that mankind would like to see for the reasonable freakshow price of $8.00 a ticket. It's also when every wannabe big time company puts out knock offs of all the big hype movies that are headed to the big screen. You can only imagine my excitement when I was in Blockbuster the other day and saw this...

Well I snatched it up as fast as I could. Nobody was going to beat me to this monstrosity. It didn't boast a big budget, an all star cast, or even decent reviews. What it did have was the quote, "It's like The Matrix, Aliens, and Starship Troopers rolled in one". Even for a person that openly will go out of his way to rent a movie that he thinks will be bad, this one was a stand out. It had everything. Poor writing. Poor acting. Shaky camera work. Really bad and inconsistent special effects. Bad editing. The sound obviously had some issues because the middle two-thirds sounded as if it had been dubbed in the producers' parents' bathroom and it didn't synch up to the action at all. The mouths were moving in a totally disjointed fashion in comparison to the sound. All in a mad rush to get it out the week before Transformers hits theaters.

If you like poorly put together movies then I would recommend this Blockbuster New Release! Dagromm gives it an A-.

On a side note my son, who was very eager by the way to see Transmorphers, recently wanted to watch Austin Powers. We capitulated and rented it online so that he could see it. I don't know what he had heard or what exactly he had expected, but everytime some slightly sexual scene would come on screen he would sit up attentively and say things like, "ok" and "here we go". It was really uncomfortable for me and Mrs. Dagromm. I finally called him out on it, said that I don't know wat he was expecting, but we weren't watching any freaky movies during dinner. It still makes me giggle.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Friday, June 29, 2007

The Unerring and Most Accurate Recollections of the Blogworthy Weekend Shared by the Crotch Wizards

Part 3

The third day was met in a groggy fashion as Cyber D and Q arrived at the House of Dagromm in the early hours of the morning. Gyuss, Pokiman, and I had already awoken. I severely burned from long shirtless hours in the sun. Pokiman and Gyuss severely burning from unprotected sex in a less than hygienic fashion.

Still we were excited to meet the days challenges head on. We all had visions of the everlasting glory that we would have for the next year if we could triumph in any of the days' events. Q had early success as the first competition was his strongest, Twister. In anything Q considers a contact sport he likes to bring the pain and with Gyuss, Poki, and myself being in weakened states we were little competition. Cyber D was much to fragile for Q's onslaught and this one was over before it ever truly began.
The next tournament was a closely contested battle for supremacy between Gyuss and myself. The Slip and Slide was pushed to its limits as we each tried to outduel each other. There has been some controversy as to what the final results of this contest were. Although I dominated the early goings on Gyuss was able to squeek out some success towards the end. In the end, nobody wanted to tell Gyuss he had ultimately lost.

We moved on to a game of survival, which may sound dangerous but when you hang with the Wizards you learn to thrive on danger. I won't go into details about the competition but I will say that it included shotguns, fire axes, explosives. I don't really remember who won this challenge. It wasn't me so I tried to forget about it.

We moved on to a challenge where we switched from the hunted to the hunter and no cheerleader was safe. For this we split into pairs and since there was an odd number of attendees I paired up with my son. I can't account for anyone else, but my son did well for his young age. He had tons of enthusiasm and was pleased that he was getting to join in on some manly fun. I think that Cyber D and Pokiman also did well. Gyuss and Q? Not so much.

Lastly, was the battle of knowledge. Sadly this was a lot less competitive than I would have expected. It came down to Q and myself. I was able to secure 1st runner up and Q won on a poor judges decision. They approved an incorrect answer as being "close enough". I'm not bitter or anything, but that shit isn't happening again! Whatever, I should've known Q would be fixed. What a bunch of a-holes!!!!

My family was great to put up with us the entire 14 hours that day. My son participated at points which was cool even if he was a little over enthusiastic at times. My daughter was cool and didn't raise a fit at being ignored all day. I think I've set her up for some really healthy relationships in the future.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Unerring Account of What Transpired on the Very Bloggish Weekend of the Quad Four

Part 2

The second day of the big weekend was spent in the company of minors. My kids. I chaperoned Gyuss as he escorted them to the water park. Gyuss wussed out and wore his shirt the whole time. Not me though. I was halfway from the parking lot to the front gate before my shirt came off. The splendor that is Dagromm was laid bare for the world. Glistening in the sun. Thank God I lost that two pounds from the weight loss challenge.

We rented a locker, I threw on some Joop, and the day was begun. The kids didn't back down from any challenge and Gyuss being the good godfather that he is took them on several things they probably shouldn't have been on. The girl rode a few things that she didn't meet the height requirements for as Gyuss would rush her on them before the employees could measure her. They even rode the ginormous suicide swing that flew out over the wave pool.

Gyuss also stepped up pretty well. He kept going past the point that I know that he was exhausted and even did a sled race against a guy that looked a lot like Professor Dumbledore. It was fairly awesome.

There was relatively little crowd the day we went which is good, because as I mentioned the shirt was off. We still got an eyeful of cute bikini wearing girls and Gyuss felt that he was being discrete in his looking by wearing dark glasses. I didn't point out to him that they could tell he was looking by the way his head would jerk violently when ever a cutie walked by. For my part I went through an entire bottle of Joop as I had to reapply it every time I got out of the pool. Eventually though it was time to leave. I was out of cologne and my crotch needed a break from wet clothes.