Monday, July 21, 2008

The Gift Bag for All Eternity

It has come to my attention recently that my life will eventually have a stopping point. I have my hopes that it will end with a really climactic scene. Maybe, I'll run the train off the tracks as I try to out run the law. I don't know. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this whole mortality thing. So, it occurs to me that I will have to make some arrangements for my remains after I am gone. I recently watched Conan the Barbarian again and think that I would like a funeral similar to what Conan gives to Valeria. Please when I go make sure that my soul is sent to Valhalla by means of a funeral pyre while you all curse Crom for letting this happen to such a swell guy.

I've also been thinking about who all will come to my final send off. Of course, I can't be sure of a final count, but I want you in the blog community to know that you are all invited. I'd like it to be a potluck affair, so if you'd all like to leave what you're bringing in the comments section that would help tremendously.

Lastly, I think that I should put together a Dagromm Memorial Gift Bag for everyone in attendance. I've just started to go over what will be included, but I thought I'd give you some of my preliminary thoughts.

1. A signed thank you letter for attending my funeral. I've never been good aboutdoing thank you notes, but it's how you finish not how you begin so as long as I get this right then I think it'll go in the plus column when resolving my afterlife status.

2. A toothbrush, trial size tooth paste and dental floss. I currently work for a dental care provider, so this should be pretty easy to score, and you the recipients of the gift bags get to be the lucky beneficiaries!!!

3. A CD (or equivilant futuristic media) with burned copies of my favorite songs.

4. Chinese finger cuffs.

5. Miscellaneous candy.

6. A tasteful nude photo of myself. Framed for display on any mantle.

7. Commemorative stationary with my photo (looking very peaceful and contemplative).

8. A random baseball card from the 1990 Topps set or basketball card from the 1991 Fleer set. Good luck!!

9. A puzzle piece that when joined with the other pieces from the other gift bag makes a photo of me on one side and forms a secret message on the back. Don't ask. I'm not telling.