Thursday, January 03, 2008

My Predictions for 2008

1. Due to struggles in the Middle East, environmental concerns, and a multitude of things that the common man can't comprehend gas prices will be forced to continue to rise and fuel companies will be forced to make record breaking profits.

2. The U.S. will succeed in closing our borders to all immigrants thus causing a massive rise in the cost of health care as we will have effectively cut our main source of doctors.

3. The spelling of the word extreme will be changed to Xtreme, because it is found to be in fact more extreme that way.

4. To combat the feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem that are sweeping our country due to the constant promotion of unrealistic body type expectations a new cable station is established that stars only "real people with real looks". It is lauded by educators, acclaimed by critics, and shuts down within six weeks.

5. The NBA attempts to turn around a downward trend in television rating by instituting several rules changes including the elimination of the "free throw" and the institution of the "free dunk". Steve Nash's career scoring average drops severely and he retires within two years.

6. The term "trash T.V." will be replaced by the term "T.V."

7. To help ailing retailers Easter is changed to Second Christmas and is heavily promoted as the time when the Eater Bunny brings good children toys and electronics. Your child has been good right? They shouldn't be left out should they?????

8. Everyone will be surprised when the Academy Award for Best Picture goes to Underdog. Everyone that is, except me.

9. The country will go one step further by legalizing prostitution on Halloween each year nationwide. The Speaker of the House argues for it by pointing out the top selling adult costumes for the last year. (This would be a good place for a link, but I'm not up to actually doing the research on this one (I'm at work))

10. The United States will overthrow their current political leader and force him out of office by the end of the year.