A Pick Me Up

I know it's been quiet for a while. Unfortunately there's been no real change in my situation. I'm still looking and I've had some good interviews, but nothing has been locked in yet. I've found that sometimes when you're down you need Shoes.

Fool Me Once Shame on Me, Fool Me Twice.......Fuck!!!!

Okay, I wasn't really fooled. I saw it coming even through the protestations of the higher ups in the company. Regardless, for the second time in three years I was laid off from my job. In total somewhere around twenty folks were let go on Friday from the small company where I worked. Which of course answers the question, "What's worse than being pulled into an office and told that your job is being eliminated?" The answer of course is being pulled into an office and told that your job is being eliminated while dressed as Frank 'N Furter from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. If you can imagine watching person after person dressed in cowboy garb, afro wigs, and characters from the Wizard of OZ walking dejectedly out of the office than you can pretty much imagine what my Halloween was like.

So, I'm a professional job seeker now. Wish me luck. If you wish to call me about it, I'd appreciate you calling me at home rather than on my cell. My cell's been getting blown up the last few days. I'm pretty popular.

The Big Fear

I voted yesterday!!! Early voting is the best thing ever. With out a doubt. It's like getting a sneak preview of something, or a backstage pass, or one of those passes that they sell at amusement parks that allow you to skip the lines. Awesome. I spent all of two minutes yesterday evening waiting in line to vote. This beats my previous best record for shortest time waiting in line to vote by about 1.63 hours. The relief is overwhelming. For once I've done my civic duty and wasn't terribly inconvenienced.

So now I sit and wait. The candidate I selected is comfortable ahead in the polls and if you ask the news agencies then all but FOX would tell you that he's already won. The underlying thing that I think most people wonder though is still there. Is it possible for a Black man to actually win the election?

Truthfully, I'm not sure.

I don't know why this was on my mind, but...

cop
noun
short for copper, police officer

cop
verb
transitive verb slang : to get hold of : catch, capture; also : purchase slang : steal, swipe: adopt intransitive verb slang : admit—used with to

cop
noun
a cylindrical or conical mass of thread, yarn, or roving wound on a quill or tube ; also : a quill or tube upon which it is wound

Now you know. Feel free to take on the world and tackle your own demons today.

For Those Who Are Too Lazy

I have found the Barack Roll for you. Enjoy.

Where's the Dagromm At?

I've seen this and heard this asked multiple times over the last few months? Seriously, it's like where ever I go I'm hearing, "Where's Dagromm" and "Hey, Dags is missing" and stuff like that. It's been pretty crazy. I thought I'd end the silence and give you a trimmed down version of what's been indulging my time for the last several months.

1. JANGO - I love the internet, because there are always sites that the administrator misses when he tries to stop all the bandwidth from getting used up. I like to work on my on-line radio station "Dagromm's First" and increase my playlist. It's hard work though.

2. Soccer - The girl's team has started slow again and we are finally starting to turn the corner. I wish that we could get more participation at practice.

3. Election Talk - This has got to be the funniest presidential race in history. Once again I love he internet, because I receive something new almost everyday. My current favorite is the Barackroll on YouTube.

4. Fretting

5. Loving

6. Partying - Admittedly #'s 4, 5, and 6 used to happen in reverse order, but I'm older now and have had a vasectomy, so there you go.

7. Softball - We now have a social sports team at work. It includes practices once a week, games once a week, and female coworkers in shorts.

8. Poker - I now have a Facebook for no apparent reason. Q and Cyber D told me I needed one and it was free, so I caved to peer pressure. I still don't really make use of it except to play poker (for points) on line. I don't chat at the table unless I'm really bored. I am also amazed at how quickly people jump to conclusions when they see your avatar.

OUCH!

I've been doing some yard work and finally set myself to clear out a large patch of unattended growth along the side of my house last week. I spent about 40 minutes hacking and picking up scraps that had been growing unfettered for the last two years. It was a mess and still is as I haven't finished the work, but I had filled up my trash can and had to stop.

About two days later my legs looked like a war zone. Red, blistered, and itching. I have my suspicions that in my side yard there is a substantial amount of poison ivy. This suspicion was reinforced when I did some more work on my yard this weekend and got a fresh new patch of rashes. I had always assumed that I was immune to the effects of poison ivy, much as I am immune to every other poison known to man (iocaine powder, etc.), but I have since learned that resistence to poison ivy can lessen with age and continued exposure to it (unlike iocaine powder). So now the warzone that was just my legs has expanded to my arms and chest. I am even now resisting the urge to roll around on the floor at work. It's not that I haven't done it before, but my pants are freshly pressed and I think they've still got another use in them.

The Gift Bag for All Eternity

It has come to my attention recently that my life will eventually have a stopping point. I have my hopes that it will end with a really climactic scene. Maybe, I'll run the train off the tracks as I try to out run the law. I don't know. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this whole mortality thing. So, it occurs to me that I will have to make some arrangements for my remains after I am gone. I recently watched Conan the Barbarian again and think that I would like a funeral similar to what Conan gives to Valeria. Please when I go make sure that my soul is sent to Valhalla by means of a funeral pyre while you all curse Crom for letting this happen to such a swell guy.

I've also been thinking about who all will come to my final send off. Of course, I can't be sure of a final count, but I want you in the blog community to know that you are all invited. I'd like it to be a potluck affair, so if you'd all like to leave what you're bringing in the comments section that would help tremendously.

Lastly, I think that I should put together a Dagromm Memorial Gift Bag for everyone in attendance. I've just started to go over what will be included, but I thought I'd give you some of my preliminary thoughts.

1. A signed thank you letter for attending my funeral. I've never been good aboutdoing thank you notes, but it's how you finish not how you begin so as long as I get this right then I think it'll go in the plus column when resolving my afterlife status.

2. A toothbrush, trial size tooth paste and dental floss. I currently work for a dental care provider, so this should be pretty easy to score, and you the recipients of the gift bags get to be the lucky beneficiaries!!!

3. A CD (or equivilant futuristic media) with burned copies of my favorite songs.

4. Chinese finger cuffs.

5. Miscellaneous candy.

6. A tasteful nude photo of myself. Framed for display on any mantle.

7. Commemorative stationary with my photo (looking very peaceful and contemplative).

8. A random baseball card from the 1990 Topps set or basketball card from the 1991 Fleer set. Good luck!!

9. A puzzle piece that when joined with the other pieces from the other gift bag makes a photo of me on one side and forms a secret message on the back. Don't ask. I'm not telling.

For those that couldn't find this....

Hit and Run

Hey all, sorry for the long delay but it's been a busy few weeks all crammed together and I expect it to run into next week as well. I should have warned you all, but hopefully the Dagromm withdrawals haven't been to bad.

I don't know if any of you watch So You Think You Can Dance, but my daughters' former dance teacher is in the top 20 and I guess after this week is in the top 18! She was by far my favorite of all her teachers, and I still get happy eyes whenever she comes back to hang out at the studio. So if any of you watch the show then feel free to vote to keep her on. Her name is Chelsea Traille and she is still the only dance teacher to get a Christmas gift from us.

One of the other final dancers is also a previous dance teacher of my son's. His name is Chris something and I don't guess I paid much attention to him when he was here. I'm not nearly as interested in him so vote for him if you wish. His partner however is also a local product and graduated from the Arts Magnet High School. So, once again another tie to my artsy sisters who are also alums.

Best Fronds Forever

When I can’t sleep due to the worries of the real world running through my head I lay in bed and imagine that I am somewhere else. Somewhere peaceful that I can relax and let stress drift away. I envision that I am lying on a grassy hillside. There is a blue sky up above with clouds floating gingerly past. All of the clouds are shapeless and cottony. A cool breeze blows on me manufactured by a dozen Dutch milkmaids in Kabuki make-up waving giant fronds from some far off palm trees. They sing me songs from their native land about a wall made of bottles of beer, in which they dismantle the wall one bottle at a time and pass them a round. The sun peeks out from behind the clouds and gives me a wink and waves hello to me.

The grass doesn’t so much tickle my feet as it gently massages them and I can see a distant fair grounds bustling with activity just over the next hill. My cat gently nuzzles my face and gives me an affectionate nibble (that part isn’t imagined, she just likes to fuck with me when I’m trying to sleep). The steady rhythm of the breeze matches that of my heart beat and the song starts to fade in and out. Every now and again a bird chirps a playful song and I notice the sun is still poking around the clouds and waving at me, persistently.

The smell of Rosemary is in the air and I find peace in the scent. Rosemary was this chick I used to sit behind in Anthropology in college. She smelled like pot and ice cream. Come to think of it, she did use to work at a Baskin Robbins and had a reputation for partying fairly hard. She always seemed pretty mellow to me though, so I guess you can’t believe everything you hear. The sun is waving hard at me now and is very intent on getting my attention.

The vision starts to blur and come in and out of focus now. The milkmaids’ song is getting to the last few dozen bottles in the beer wall. The clouds are slowing their trek across the azure sky, and the birds sound further away now. The sun looks really frustrated so I wave back to it and it looks overjoyed. It then sends me a lollipop through a pneumatic tube and asks if I have any other transactions to make. When I say “no”, it thanks me and tells me to have a good day.

In other news, has anyone else noticed how long those lines at the bank take?

Bullet Points

• I love bullet points.


• They make random lists of things look organized and less like a bunch of last minute thoughts.


• They are also a great space killer for business documents. No need to complete paragraphs, these are just bullet points!


• Flavored cream cheese sucks. Does anyone really like strawberry flavored cream cheese? Cinnamon apple? Ugghhh.


• See how that worked. It's a bullet point so I don't need any kind of transition.


• Does the new Incredible Hulk movie have a chance when the last one sucked so bad and the CGI makes both movies look the same?


• I got published on a CNN blog. Look at me!!! You might have to scroll down a bit


• This is my 300th post. It's not my best.


• I'm still rated #1 by lesbians!!! I think.


• I've been re-watching Coupling season 2 and I will list the three things that Steve says that every bloke needs to know.

1. You will never be famous.


2. You're fatter than you think you are.


3. Stockings are a myth. There are only ten pair in the entire world that women pass around based on need, which is why they are so prevalent early in the relationship and then disappear as the relationship continues.

• I've almost got my body bathing suit ready again!


• The Mucho Nachos I ate for lunch isn't going to help though.

Q is an Ass

Some of you might remember former blogger, Q. I know that Fringes likes to portray Q as some sort of good guy, but I feel the world deserves the truth. In the spirit of honesty about Q's jerkdom I present the following e-mail exchange from last week.

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:02 AM

To: Q

Subject: Emergency

Q,
I need another copy of the College Dropout CD. Mine got scratched up and half of it is torn the hell up. I don’t know how much longer I can hold up.

Dagromm

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:16 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

Dude, I will get you 750 Mb of Kanye West stat!

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:17 AM

To: Q

Subject: RE: Emergency

Thanks, I’m getting the shakes real bad. Hey do you know when you might be available to come by and give me some help with a few things?

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:26 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

Saturday?

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:32 AM

To: Q

Subject: RE: Emergency

Crap, I was going to suggest Sunday, but then I remembered that’s Mother’s Day. How about the following Sunday?

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:34 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

Can’t then. That is my b-day.

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:36 AM

To: Q

Subject: RE: Emergency

Oh, I didn’t know you had a rule about avoiding me on your birthday. I understand………uhmmm………..I’m just going to cry a little bit now.

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:43 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

Well, that’s not what I meant. I will be going with my parents on Sunday to celebrate my birthday, without you. Is that better?

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:46 AM

To: Q

Subject: RE: Emergency

WHATEVER!!!!!! I don’t even care, because I’m gonna have lots of fun on my own. I already have surprise party planned…..for me……..because I’m so much fun. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!!!!!!

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:51 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

That’s fine, you don’t even like horse racing. Which is where we are going. And you hate chocolate cake. I don’t know why you would even care. I didn’t invite you because I knew you wouldn’t like what we are doing. On a side note can you believe that CyberD is going to the horse races with us?

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:58 AM

To: Q

Subject: RE: Emergency

I totally CAN believe CyberD is going, because that sounds totally lame and totally the kind of thing that a totally lame person like CyberD would appreciate. So, I’m totally glad that I’m not going even though I haven’t been to the horse races all year, because I’m not into lame. I’m into things that are totally awesome like the party I’m throwing. There’s going to be birthday cake and ice cream and balloon animals and a clown that does like really awesome magic tricks. Everyone’s going to be talking about it.

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:02 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

Wow, your party sounds really fun. Sorry I won’t be able to attend because CyberD and I will be hanging out with each other gambling on horses. You know having a good time with some chocolate cake and paramutual wagering. After words we talked about attending a strip club but we knew you wouldn’t be into that either.

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:05 AM

To: Q

Subject: RE: Emergency

You’re right I really wouldn’t want to go, because I heard that strip clubs are like the worst place a person could ever go on their birthday. They don’t even give out balloon animals!!!!!

You suck. I hate your soul.

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:09 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

Well, actually there will be a stripping clown there that day on the main stage. She makes balloon animals/things and then has relations with them. I hear it is going to be really neato. You are going to have balloon animals huh. Your party sounds really fun.

From: Dagromm

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:12 AM

To: Q

Subject: RE: Emergency

Don’t patronize me!! It’s going to suck and you know it!!! I’ve scraped your name off the cake and it looks terrible now. Plus, I’ve had to spend the last hour scratching out “Happy Birthday Q” on all the napkins and writing in, “Happy 2nd Round of the NBA Playoffs!!!” You owe me some dinero to reimburse me for your big F’ Up on this one, jerk wad.

From: Q

Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:19 AM

To: Dagromm

Subject: RE: Emergency

Dude, after the races I am sure I will have more than enough cash to give you some for the party decorations and cake. CyberD just rented a limo, this is going to be the best birthday ever!

So as you can see, Q was completely in the wrong on this. I hope this weekend you will each join me and swear an unholy curse and spit on the ground for his birthday.

Movie Update

I know that as the summer roles around people across the globe turn to the HoD to let them know what to watch. “What movies are worth watching Mr Dagromm?” they yell. Well fear not people of Earth I have heard your pleas and will help you in your time of need. Here is a quick run down of a few movies that I have watched as of late.

Iron Man

I don’t know if you’ve heard of this little motion picture, but if you have then you’ve probably heard that it’s pretty darn good…..and it is. The acting performances were good, the dialogue was fun, the look was spot on, and there were a lot pretty girls as Tony Stark really enjoys being a billionaire. This might be the best “summer blockbuster” of the year and after watching it, I’m already looking forward to the new Batman movie less. This movie is a strong A-.

Baby Mama

This movie was as funny to me as Knocked Up was supposed to be. I find Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Dax Sheppard to all be xtremely funny people. I think this is one of those movies that will circle back around as people catch it on video, etc. and realize that it’s really good. It also has smaller parts played by Sigourney Weaver, Steve Martin, and others that I didn’t realize were in the show. Check this one out and expect to get an A-.

Penelope

This is a movie that stars Christina Ricci as a girl that is born with the curse of having a pig snout and ears, a really cute figure, and a big sexy forehead. My daughter was all excited to see this movie, and was in to it from the outset. The best part of the movie to me other than Ricci and Reese Witherspoon was getting to mortify my daughter and wife at the ticket counter when I asked for three tickets to “Pee-nil-lope”. The movie is fluffy and nice and if you’ve got 8 or 9 year old daughters then it should be right in their wheel house. This one is a cuddly A- and might already be available on video.

Southland Tales (DVD)

Have you ever watched a movie that was overloaded with stars and resulted in a film that was an overwhelming disaster? 15 minutes into this flick I called FEMA and reported a disaster in Hollywood and its name was Southland Tales. This movie has everything you could ever want in a bad movie; bad acting, directing, effects, editing, cinematography, poor gaffing, and I suspect the Best Boy even under delivered. This really hurts me to write since it included former Crotch Wizard, The Rock, but I suppose this is really just indicative as to why he didn’t make it with us. It also has Sarah Michelle Gellar, Amy Poehler, Christopher Lambert, Jon Lovitz, John Larroquette, Mandy Moore, Miranda Richardson, Seann William Scott, Justin Timberlake, Kevin Smith, Janeane Garofolo. I blame how bad this movie is on Will Sasso and Nora Dunn who are also in it.

On shear name power and spectacle of atrociousness I give this movie an A-.

P.S. I know this post very easily lends itself to adding pictures, but it took too long to delete comments yesterday so I went without.

Huh? What??

Once again another long delay in posting. It’s kind of becoming my new thing. Unfortunately it has been caused by technical difficulties as the computer I’ve been using burned out again and my back up suddenly decided that it doesn’t recognize what an Ethernet cable is anymore. Perplexing.

I would have been accessing at work, but there have been a culmination of events here that have made me decide that it was best not to. The first was an unfortunate event that put our company in the news at least here locally. There were reporters and truthfully it will probably be revisited by news crews before it’s all said and done. A lot of scrutiny was being put on any communications and I decided it best not to push it for the sake of blogging. The second event occurred a week or two afterwards where I became upset with my employer and a comment that was made. In the grand scheme of things it probably wasn’t a big deal, but I let my frustrations be known and once again I felt that my communications might be monitored so I kept from the blog.

So, last night I was flipping around the channels and saw a Nightline or ABC News television article talking about Dooce. I’m not a big fan of Dooce’s blog, but I know Cyber D reads it and so I felt in some way a connection to the story. Dooce and her husband apparently make a full on living from her blog. Wow. That’s all I really had to say about that.

I’m still coming to grips with the fact that times are changed from when I was growing up. It doesn’t seem that long ago, but apparently it was. This was proven to me once again by my son. He got introduced to a role-playing group through the public library. So now instead of being worried about the devil worshipping practices of RPG’s like when I was kid, it’s a publicly funded event. I left my son at the library thinking that maybe I hadn’t done my son any favors as this would certainly damage his dating potential for years to come. That’s one of the inarguable laws of man. Dice wielding role playing geeks don’t get girls. Low and behold when I pick him up I find that there were two girls in the group. One of them was one he knew from school who was also a first timer. WHAT???!!!!???!!?!?!?!?!???? I left my son for geeky fun and come back to find that it’s some hooking up thing?

The girl’s going nuts that she can’t get on the blog to write more. I don’t know what she has to say, but I know how tough it is to hold on to those fleeting ideas that work their mercurial way through our heads and I sympathize.

I think it’s safe to say that I am found to be the most attractive guy to the Lesbians at work. Seriously they’ve told me multiple times that they have crushes on me. I assume that what I feel at this prospect is akin to the legless person that wins a lifetime supply of running shoes. I’m also curious as to what kind of guy the homosexual woman finds attractive comparative to the straight woman. I also have the feeling that I don’t really want to know the answer.

Thanks Cyber D

I'm glad that Cyber D still has e-mail exchanges with me once in a while. Luckily the other times I've published our e-conversations hasn't dissuaded him from communicating with me. So, I'll publish our correspondence from last week in the hopes that Cyber D will send me the receipt template that I asked for.

From: Dagromm
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 4:30 PM
To: Cyber D
Subject: receipt

Cyber D,

Do you have any sort of template for a donation receipt?

Dagromm, PHR


From: Cyber D
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 4:34 PM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: receipt

I’m certain I can provide you something, but it will have to wait until next week. I don’t process receipts so I’ll need to touch base with someone else in my department in order to get a template. Otherwise I could craft something from scratch that would fill your needs but – again – I would have to put pen to paper no earlier than next week. I hope that’s okay. Let’s circle back at that time?

Cyber D


From: Dagromm
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 4:39 PM
To: Cyber D
Subject: RE: receipt

Oh God, I got office speak from you. OK, we’ll “circle back” and “touch base” on the “particulars of the project”.

From: Cyber D
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 4:41 PM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: receipt

F-you! Sometimes office speak is the most salient way to communicate politely. Would you have preferred…

Yeah I can help but I don’t have time now. Let me talk to some people or else I’ll just pull something out of my ass but you’ll have to wait your f-ing turn! Get in line!

How’s that?

Cyber D

From: Dagromm
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 4:47 PM
To: Cyber D
Subject: RE: receipt

That’s really not what I’d expect from someone I consider a friend either, but I guess we were raised differently. I suppose I’ll just take the high road and “wait my turn”.

From: Cyber D
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 4:49 PM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: receipt

Smoke…

Cyber D

From: Cyber D
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 5:12 PM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: receipt

my


From: Cyber D
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 5:16 PM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: receipt

pole


You'll notice that Cyber D is quick to lose his temper at 4:40 on a Friday. I should have known better than to ask something of him when I know he's already been drinking.

Time shoots by and there are multiple things to catch loyal readers up on. The boy has an unofficial girlfriend. It’s been going on for a while. She told a friend that she liked him who told him and he said “ummm ok” and then he asked her to the dance which she couldn’t go to because she had family coming in town, she calls him semi-regularly, he took a picture of her with his cell phone, and now she wants to know if he can go to the mall and hang out sometime. So that’s romance and dating in the modern day. Her name is Ebony. She’s a sista.

The girl’s soccer season is almost to the midway point and she and the team have been struggling. I don’t know if she’s just uncomfortable transitioning between the two teams or what, but she knows that she’s not playing well which is frustrating her and making her play worse. She and I have worked a little extra and have talked about it, so I hope that’s about to turn around this weekend. The team started getting really physical in practice and I’m hoping it carries over into the games, because we’ve been lacking in that regard to a painful degree.

Today I find out that the girl has strep throat. She had to get a shot in the leg and I don’t know that she’ll be playing this weekend. I got her McNuggets. That's the only medicine I know. That and Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

Life is a Song

Sometimes I like to share the knowledge that I have gained through the many experiences in my life. In a way I feel that is my major gift to the world that will be left behind long after I am gone. I pass on knowledge so that others don’t have to make the same mistakes, so that they in turn can build from the foundation that I have lain and further the cause of creating a better humanity.

To that I end I will profess that I live my life as if it were a movie. A musical in fact, in which people will instantaneously burst in to song and dance as the whim strikes them. When I’m not crooning to my kids about the glories of fried chicken while in the drive-thru at Popeye’s, I’m espousing the inadequacies of other drivers during my morning drive, or serenading my coworkers. I feel that I have gained a unique knowledge and insight from this practice of living life as a movie and I will share it with you.

The following is a list of songs that I can without hesitation tell you should not be sung while making love. In fact most of them should never be sung while naked and sweaty under any circumstances. If you are to take on an existence, like my own, in which music helps define your life then I can only hope you will follow my advice.

Knockin’ on Heavens Door (Guns in Roses) – I know it seems like this would be the perfect song especially if you can mimic Axel Rose, but it isn’t……at all.

That’s the Way (uh-huh uh-huh) I Like It (KC and the Sunshine Band) – Once again this seems like it would go over well, but it doesn’t. In fact you might get asked to leave, forcefully.

Genie in a Bottle (Christina Aguilera) – I don’t feel that I should have to explain this, just take my word for it.

Star Trekkin’ (The Firm) – OK, two words, mood & killer

American Pie (Don McLean) – Do you realize how long this song is???? Fellas, if you try to sing this while in the act you are just going to feel bad about yourself in the end. Save yourself the therapy and please don’t attempt it. For the same reason you might also want to avoid the Sugar Hill Gang’s “Rappers Delight”, Baby Bubba.

It's been a little while and a few things have been rolling around in my brain to mention. The first one is this news story that I saw a while back. I didn't notice a whole lot of talk on the subject, but I found it somewhat amusing. For some reason I find myself taking the Little Miss Sunshine approach to this story. I wish they would have just gotten an autograph and then let her go on her way. Maybe take a picture with her lighting up or something.

The girl and I have spent most of our free time at the Dallas Cup watching soccer. She's been excited to watch the Liverpool U-19's from England play since she plays for a local Liverpool Academy team. She wears her Liverpool shirt to games and cheers very loudly. We've made friends with some other supporters of the team and sit with them at the games. The girl has been working on te lyrics for "You'll Never Walk Alone" which is their unofficial theme song and even persuaded me to get her a Liverpool F.C. flag. Last night we went to the semifinals and watched them play against Benfica from Portugal. My daughter's impression after the game was that the Portuguese were all a bunch of cheats and fakers, so it's a been a learning experience for her. Liverpool came out on top scoring in the last two minutes of regulation to take home a 2-1 victory and secure a spot in the Finals against Tigres (Mexico).

After the game, we stuck around and the girl got her flag autographed by the Liverpool players. They were all very nice and took the time to sign things and take pictures. They have a few stud players that I'm sure will be playing with somebody's first team before long.

Two Great Powers Coming Together

Spring and Rebirth

Last week my cell phone had an untimely demise. Even as, I watched its’ last remnants of life flickering away I looked up to the heavens and said, “Please forgive me for I know not what I’ve done.” My protestations could not stop the inevitable though and although my phone had often spoken the word unto me, I realized that it would not convey its’ messages that were sent from above to me any longer.

I entombed the phone within a box and laid it to rest at the feet of the virginal maidens within the Verizon Wireless location from whence it had originated. They told me not to cry for my phone would not be laid to rest for long. And as they spoke it was as if the music of angels filled the air as played in MP3 format by the speakers attached to the Samsung Juke display.

I gathered my strength as best I could and tried to emulate life for the next few days. That is when the miracle happened. On the third day my Mint Chocolate by LG rose again in accordance with the warranty. The box was returned to me by the messengers of Fed Ex and the container that had held it was unsealed. The phone was there looking as though the weary travails of its’ previous life had never happened. It was unscarred and had truly been reborn!

In other news, I’ve lost my entire contacts list from my phone. Feel free to e-mail me your numbers so I can build it up again.

I Found It!!!!

With a little hard work and ingenuity I was able to find the picture that CNN had up the other day in the Teenage Girls with Venereal Diseases article.

I found it on the Black Folks Community Live Journal along with this great comment.

What I'm upset about besides these staggering numbers, is that the image used is of a Black teen aged guy and a White teen aged girl....does anyone else find that strange? She's fully dressed, he has no shirt on. There's no rap posters on the wall so I guess they're in her room....

Hopefully, the IT department at work won't ask why I was googling "teenage girls pics" or "black guys with white girls".

An E-Mail I recently Received For Real

I recently received this e-mail from a dear friend of mine. For your edification, I thought I would share.

From: Big Dirty
Sent: Friday, March 07, 2008 1:29 PM
To: 'Dagromm'
Subject: Fuck This!!

Hey Dags,

I know how much you hate getting chain letters, forwarded news stories, and really hot trim (ha ha ha!!!) but you need to see this. Do you think it's for real???

At first I was like, "This is really scary", then I was like, "Man that chick is hot and totally about to give it up to that black dude. I wonder which one is about to drop some V.D. on the other? Man she's hot." Then I got to thinking that maybe they're just making all this stuff up to keep guys away from all the hot girls. More for them, right? Like weapons of mass destruction in Afganistan or Iraq or Korea or wherever.

Then I was like, "Hey, even if this is true then there's a lot of chicks out there that like to party and they're going to get pretty desperate what with news stories coming out about their infected va-jay-jays". They're going to be willing to kill for some Big Dirty!!!!

I know, what you're thinking now and I'm way ahead of you. I've already e-mailed the CDC to try and get a list of all the girls that were involved that like to do it. This is awesome! I love the government. I knew people paid taxes for a reason. Hot damn!

Stay Krunk on the Junk,
Big Dirty



For clarification purposes, that was not what I was thinking.

Good Bye, Good Friend

I hate times like this. Today I found out that a good friend of mine has passed on. I had that weird feeling when I was getting ready this morning, and if I had known then that it had happened I probably wouldn't have gone in to work today.

Around midday was when I found out. I sat at my desk and looked down at my cell phone which was blinking. I knew it was bad news. I picked it up and pushed the button. My heart dropped immediately when I found out what had happened. I couldn't believe it. I slammed my phone against the desk out of despair, but nothing was going to help. I've mentioned this friend once or twice on this blog, but I suppose this will be the last time. This time I say good bye and let you know that you'll be missed.

My LG Mint Chocolate phone has rung it's last. It has crashed and gone to wherever it is that cell phones go when they die. I feel like I lost a great opportunity to talk more with it when it was still alive. That's the way it always is with these things, I guess.

If anyone would like to say a goodbye you may do so in the comments.

Real American Heroes

I'd like to take a minute to recognize the great movie icons of the 80's. They fought Mr. T and the Russians for us. They flew special Top Gun missions to protect our freedoms. They took to the streets with their nearly retired partners to fight off criminals. They even drove time machines to the past and the future to make the world a better place. They didn't let anything get in their way. If their trainer or best friend died, did that stop them?? No. If they wanted to commit suicide but were too chicken to do it, did that keep them from doing right? Hell no. If they got locked in the trunk of Marvin Berry's car during the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance, did they give up?? Of course not.

These people were an inspiration to us all. These were the people that perfected the movie montage. These were the folks that taught us no matter if you've got a speech impediment like Rocky, or a dead dad like Maverick, or crazy hair like Riggs, or were out of plutonium to fuel your time travel device, or were only 5 foot 8 inches tall or less like all of them; that you could still come out on top.

Thank you little guys. Thank you all.

My 8 year old daughter has decided to start a blog and made her first post tonight. She's actually been asking me for some time if she could do it and I finally consented. I helped her put it together and with spelling, but she put the content in herself. She really enjoys writing (that's one of the things her teachers like about her) and she is giddy with excitement about getting to have her own page. Feel free to check it out here. If you leave a comment she'd be thrilled.

A Conversation With My Little Friend

YouTube: Hello Dagromm! What’s going on?

Dagromm: Not too much. The rain and cold cancelled out my soccer games this weekend. I’m a little bummed.

YouTube: I know how you feel. I had some big stuff planned too.

Dagromm: Oh well…..So hey, I need to catch up a little with the primaries. Can you get me up to date?

YouTube: You bet Dagromm! Nothing’s too much for my favorite guy!!!

Dagromm: I love you YouTube.

Don't worry Cyber D, it's on the way!!!

Flash Back

Even after all my writing the last couple of years there are still people out there that feel I am a mystery so I thought I would draw back the curtain a little bit and tell you about my time in the FBI. Now understand that a lot of it is confidential, so I won’t be able to disclose everything, but I can tell you that I was involved with some pretty intense portions of our nations’ war with underground crime.

After graduating the Academy with high marks in Marksmanship, Forensics, and Culinary Arts; I was quickly placed on a special assignment. I became part of the Elite DVD Anti-Piracy Task Force. I don’t want to go into all of the dirty details, but I can tell you that this is by far the darkest and most dangerous parts of America’s criminal underworld. Needless to say, many of my comrades didn’t make it out alive. Others even after their duty ended needed psychological counseling to deal with the trauma.

I myself am only now able to get a grip on some of the horrors that I was witness to. The physical scars have long since healed, but the emotional scars have taken much longer. Sometimes at night I relive the atrocities of the Dude, Where’s My Car Campaign that claimed the lives of so many good men. Still, I fought on in what seemed like a war that would never end. From deep in the back alleys of poverty stricken barrios to the high rise lairs of felonious kingpins I fought the good fight, but after the highly publicized Big Momma’s House 2 Incident even I couldn’t go on.

Election Fever!!

Each election I get a little more interested and presumably a little more informed of the candidates running. I don’t know if this is a sign of maturity as much as it is a sign of boredom and looking for some new thing to pass the time. Kind of like the Olympics. It’s only once every four years, so I can suspend disbelief for a few months and pretend that I’m interested in things like shot put, gymnastic floor routines, or tax relief for eco friendly companies.

I knew that I would vote democrat, but wasn’t sure which candidate was right for me. Hillary or Barack. I find it interesting that the Democratic candidates are known to us by their first names. We don’t think about the Republican candidates as John, Mitt, and Mike. They are McCain, Romney, and Huckabee. They are not on a first name basis with the common man. They don’t want to be. Is it just me or does McCain look like the generic “evil/corrupt politician” from the movies?

Anywho, I was sent the candidate profile test and found that I’m 90% Barack vs. 70% Hillary so I guess that’s that. So now I will be promoting the ObamaNation. I’ll push for the one true Obama, the uni-Bama, if you will. Go America!

Hey Dags, What’s Been Going On?

Glad you asked Blog Community. Lots and not a lot at the same time. At work, my medical insurance for the family tripled in cost. You read that right. TRIPLED. Ugghh. My initial reaction was that we’d have to do without and learn to be healthy, but then I thought about how well the kids follow directions and decided against it. I was more than a little pissed and voiced my concerns to the boss and company owner. Hopefully I was able to maintain a little tact. I’m afraid I might have dropped some F-Bombs. I’m afraid I might have dropped a lot of them.

The wife started a contract gig this week. It’s a four week deal, but you never know and we’ve got our fingers crossed that it could turn into more. It’s closer to home and my work, which are good things and runs 8:30–5:30 Mon-Fri, which is also good because it allows her a little time in the morning when we are scrambling getting everyone ready to go. Lots of finger crossing is going on here.

Soccer season is starting which means that I will have next to no free time for the next two to three months. We had our first practice last night in 40 degree weather and a little bit of rain. We didn’t go too long, but it was a good start and I have high hopes. The girls Academy team has been practicing for about a month already. There’s been lots of drama and our previous team manager left and tried to recruit players to go with her. In total we lost a quarter of our team. I got tapped on the shoulder to become the new team manager and I accepted before I had thought much about it. It turns out to have been a good thing though as the club has slashed the dues for me for taking on the role. If it weren’t for this then my daughter probably wouldn’t be playing with them either. It’s been a lot of extra work as well though. Recruiting, looking for practice facilities, paperwork, looking up fund raising opportunities, etc. Oh well, I’m determined to do a good job so that all the girls have a good experience.

By the way, the picture above is the Scrooge McDuck money bin that I've been hoping to build one day. I'm not close at all yet.

For Those Who Want to Know

I understand that a number of you have been curious why Q has been so quiet as of late. He hasn't posted much on his blog and hasn't left many comments on the blogs of others. Well I thought I would enlighten those who aren't as close to the Q. He has of late taken to involving himself in politics. It has damn near consumed all of his time and resources.


You might ask what has led him to this. The Presidential race? A current opening in his local government? Nope. To Q it is something much more serious than that. It's bigger than whether Iraq is ruled West Coast Muslims or East Coast Muslims. He says it's about oppression and certain inalienable rights that are being tread upon. I don't want to go into the whole thing now, but I'm attaching this link for whoever wants more insight.


I'll also attach this pic of Q rallying the people to his cause.

ABC Belittles the Sacrifices of US Troops

Yes my friends and fellow lovers of the American Way, I too was disgusted when I saw what ABC was doing. I don't know why they thought it was appropriate in this time of national emergency. Instead the so-called "American" Broadcast Company felt this was the right time to declare a Dance War between Bruno Tolioni and Carrie Ann Inaba. To compare the difficulties our troups are facing in Afghanistan and Iraq to the competition between Inaba (who speaks Japanese!!!) and Tonioli (an admitted non-American) is at the very least an insult to our troops and in fact an insult to all Americans.

I think it's safe to say that most U.S. Americans know better than to believe that our troops are overseas in the Iraq doing highly stylized choreography while the Al-Queda Nazis respond with their own flurry of shuffle, step, shuffle, step, smile, and turn. I expect the outrage is building to this insinuation and very soon ABC will be shut down by the public outcry. Until that time I will instead have to watch good American programming like Gossip Girl and the new Knight Rider.

Books in Review

In my time away from the blog I did a little reading and thought that I'd share a few reviews for those in search of something to pass the time.

Winkie

Winkie is the story of a teddy bear that is passed down through a family and eventually wills itself to life. It then goes on the run and is captured by special forces and is brought on trial as a terrorist mastermind. The book is a lot deeper then most people glancing at it would probably think and touches on a number of subjects including politics, religion, philosophy, and sexuality. It's a well written book, but not a gripping one. All in all I'd have to give it an A-.

Fahrenheit 451

This is one of those books that has been on my "to do" list for a number of years. Well, I finally got around to reading it, and it was both enjoyable and surprising. I went into this read knowing roughly what the book was about, but I found they style of the writing to be very different to than what I expected. Still well done, but lots of fragmented sentences meant to convey feelings or confusion. Of course it was also interesting to see how something written 50 years ago was still very accurate on a lot of fronts in regards society and the way that thought and information are conveyed. Ray Bradbury certainly earned the 10 cents an hour he got paid to write this book and also his A-.

Planet Hulk

This was a Christmas gift my son received and as soon as he was done, I picked it up and poured through it. This was very well done. The story line was straight enough that a newcomer could pick it up and enjoy it, with characters that came from forgotten story lines of other comics through out the Marvel Universe. On top of that the art was very nice and the covers were beautiful. The hard back even comes with extra background information that shows how well thought out the whole thing was. Nice book for comic lovers. A-

My Predictions for 2008

1. Due to struggles in the Middle East, environmental concerns, and a multitude of things that the common man can't comprehend gas prices will be forced to continue to rise and fuel companies will be forced to make record breaking profits.

2. The U.S. will succeed in closing our borders to all immigrants thus causing a massive rise in the cost of health care as we will have effectively cut our main source of doctors.

3. The spelling of the word extreme will be changed to Xtreme, because it is found to be in fact more extreme that way.

4. To combat the feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem that are sweeping our country due to the constant promotion of unrealistic body type expectations a new cable station is established that stars only "real people with real looks". It is lauded by educators, acclaimed by critics, and shuts down within six weeks.

5. The NBA attempts to turn around a downward trend in television rating by instituting several rules changes including the elimination of the "free throw" and the institution of the "free dunk". Steve Nash's career scoring average drops severely and he retires within two years.

6. The term "trash T.V." will be replaced by the term "T.V."

7. To help ailing retailers Easter is changed to Second Christmas and is heavily promoted as the time when the Eater Bunny brings good children toys and electronics. Your child has been good right? They shouldn't be left out should they?????

8. Everyone will be surprised when the Academy Award for Best Picture goes to Underdog. Everyone that is, except me.

9. The country will go one step further by legalizing prostitution on Halloween each year nationwide. The Speaker of the House argues for it by pointing out the top selling adult costumes for the last year. (This would be a good place for a link, but I'm not up to actually doing the research on this one (I'm at work))

10. The United States will overthrow their current political leader and force him out of office by the end of the year.