Thursday, May 15, 2008

Q is an Ass

Some of you might remember former blogger, Q. I know that Fringes likes to portray Q as some sort of good guy, but I feel the world deserves the truth. In the spirit of honesty about Q's jerkdom I present the following e-mail exchange from last week.


From: Dagromm
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:02 AM
To: Q
Subject: Emergency

Q,
I need another copy of the College Dropout CD. Mine got scratched up and half of it is torn the hell up. I don’t know how much longer I can hold up.

Dagromm

From: Q
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:16 AM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: Emergency

Dude, I will get you 750 Mb of Kanye West stat!

From: Dagromm
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:17 AM
To: Q
Subject: RE: Emergency

Thanks, I’m getting the shakes real bad. Hey do you know when you might be available to come by and give me some help with a few things?

From: Q
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:26 AM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: Emergency

Saturday?

From: Dagromm
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:32 AM
To: Q
Subject: RE: Emergency

Crap, I was going to suggest Sunday, but then I remembered that’s Mother’s Day. How about the following Sunday?

From: Q
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:34 AM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: Emergency

Can’t then. That is my b-day.

From: Dagromm
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:36 AM
To: Q
Subject: RE: Emergency

Oh, I didn’t know you had a rule about avoiding me on your birthday. I understand………uhmmm………..I’m just going to cry a little bit now.

From: Q
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:43 AM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: Emergency

Well, that’s not what I meant. I will be going with my parents on Sunday to celebrate my birthday, without you. Is that better?

From: Dagromm
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:46 AM
To: Q
Subject: RE: Emergency

WHATEVER!!!!!! I don’t even care, because I’m gonna have lots of fun on my own. I already have surprise party planned…..for me……..because I’m so much fun. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!!!!!!

From: Q
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:51 AM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: Emergency

That’s fine, you don’t even like horse racing. Which is where we are going. And you hate chocolate cake. I don’t know why you would even care. I didn’t invite you because I knew you wouldn’t like what we are doing. On a side note can you believe that CyberD is going to the horse races with us?

From: Dagromm
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:58 AM
To: Q
Subject: RE: Emergency

I totally CAN believe CyberD is going, because that sounds totally lame and totally the kind of thing that a totally lame person like CyberD would appreciate. So, I’m totally glad that I’m not going even though I haven’t been to the horse races all year, because I’m not into lame. I’m into things that are totally awesome like the party I’m throwing. There’s going to be birthday cake and ice cream and balloon animals and a clown that does like really awesome magic tricks. Everyone’s going to be talking about it.

From: Q
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:02 AM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: Emergency

Wow, your party sounds really fun. Sorry I won’t be able to attend because CyberD and I will be hanging out with each other gambling on horses. You know having a good time with some chocolate cake and paramutual wagering. After words we talked about attending a strip club but we knew you wouldn’t be into that either.

From: Dagromm
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:05 AM
To: Q
Subject: RE: Emergency

You’re right I really wouldn’t want to go, because I heard that strip clubs are like the worst place a person could ever go on their birthday. They don’t even give out balloon animals!!!!!

You suck. I hate your soul.

From: Q
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:09 AM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: Emergency

Well, actually there will be a stripping clown there that day on the main stage. She makes balloon animals/things and then has relations with them. I hear it is going to be really neato. You are going to have balloon animals huh. Your party sounds really fun.

From: Dagromm
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:12 AM
To: Q
Subject: RE: Emergency

Don’t patronize me!! It’s going to suck and you know it!!! I’ve scraped your name off the cake and it looks terrible now. Plus, I’ve had to spend the last hour scratching out “Happy Birthday Q” on all the napkins and writing in, “Happy 2nd Round of the NBA Playoffs!!!” You owe me some dinero to reimburse me for your big F’ Up on this one, jerk wad.

From: Q
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:19 AM
To: Dagromm
Subject: RE: Emergency

Dude, after the races I am sure I will have more than enough cash to give you some for the party decorations and cake. CyberD just rented a limo, this is going to be the best birthday ever!

So as you can see, Q was completely in the wrong on this. I hope this weekend you will each join me and swear an unholy curse and spit on the ground for his birthday.


17 comments:

Q said...

Dude, the limo CyberD got us is going to have a jacuzzi. Best. Birthday. Party. Ever.

Dagromm said...

Q - I think you misunderstood Cyber D. It's going to have Jack Uzi. Cyber D's favorite AIDS riddled male stripper.

Churlita said...

Jack Uzi is my favorite AIDS riddled male stripper.

NoRegrets said...

Boy, Q is such a dick. Oh, wait, I mean he has one.

Dagromm said...

Churlita - He's fairly popular. Aww who am I kidding. He's awesome.

Nore - Yeah he sure is!

jaz said...

I used to have a stripper on my caseload. I never did find out whether she was able to take the cost of enhancing her curb appeal off her income taxes.

The guy across the hall had a stripper on his caseload and I never figured out how she made a living. She always had oozing scabs visible on her arms and legs when she came to the probation office.

Wonder if either of them ever worked with Jack Uzi. Probably the second.

Dagromm said...

JAZ - Does "stripper on his case load" mean what I think it means??? Wink wink nudge nudge.

jaz said...

Only if you think it means he is part of the intensive probation unit in special services. Feel free to place the emphasis on whichever words you choose.

Oh--he now supervises the sexual offenders caseload. And I always tried to not overhear what was happening in his office.

Susan said...

People try not to overhear what's going on in my office, too. Sadly, we're in an "open layout" office thus there's no avoiding it.

plug said...

Wow. This conversation gives a whole new meaning to "Party Favors."

Dagromm said...

JAZ - Don't worry. I will.

Susan - That's whay I avoid talking on the phone at work as much as possible. There's no privacy. Although they got to hear me complain to the Frito Lay company yesterday when I accidentally rubbed Salsa Verde Doritos residue in my eye. That shit stings.

Plug - They should definitely have come to my party instead. Jerks.

Gyuss Baaltar said...

Q, is the the party I'm flying in for and we're not telling Dagromm about?

Goo said...

Dagromm, Plug, I'm really concerned about the association between "party favors" and "jerks". Ick.

Cyber D said...

For the record... I hate the race track too. I just REALLY love strip clubs.

Alan said...

So good. Again.

Dagromm said...

Gyuss - Fly into my part of the world and see what happens. I control North Texas!

Goo - I hadn't thought of it, but ooh! That's "ooh" like "ick" not "ooh" like "ooh la la".

Cyber D - I know you hate the track which makes it even worse. That Q is such a punk.

Alan - Thanks! I think.

Goo said...

Dagromm, I think you mean "eewww".