Monday, August 20, 2007

So, I've gotten about 239 e-mails asking me about the weekend trip with Q. Most of them were from Q's mom who doesn't trust his version of events. Some of them were from Federal Agents trying to get me to admit too much. Still others were from you the concerned and loving Blog United Nations. I received e-mails from as near as fellow North Texans to as far away as South Texas. So wait no longer, sit back and I will tell you of a journey so harrowing and momentous it could only be called...

The Opus of Ecstasy and McBoner

It began on Friday evening as I met Q at his fortress on the corner. I don't know if he has ever mentioned this, but the Q family are reputed land barons in North Texas and so there was plenty of room for me to leave my Mustang dripping oil while we were away. Q was antsy to get going. I had almost made it to the door with my bag in hand when he came bursting out the other way pointing to his fleet of vehicles. He chose a shiny SUV. Nice but subdued so as not to garner too much attention. Good choice.

We set a course for Shreveport, Louisiana aka Cajun Vegas. It was a few hours of driving before we approached the state line and darkness had already fallen. As we entered Waskom we pulled into the Dairy Queen parking lot. Just a few scant miles from the state border. We pulled out our wallets and slid the I.D.s from their protective sleeves. They went into the glove compartment along with my wedding ring and Q's "Wham #1 Fan" button that he almost always wears. We changed clothes. Me into my silk shirt and pinstripe suit. Q into his tweed jacket, tie, and corduroy pants. As he placed his worn leather hat upon his head the transformation was complete. We were no longer Dagromm and Q. We had assumed the identities that we always do when we cross state lines. I became Rod Ecstasy, playboy billionaire, and industrialist magnate. Q as always was Skip McBoner, archaeologist adventurer and world traveler.

Before anyone could see what we had done we slipped from the shadows and proceeded across the border to the state with no remorse, Louisiana. It was about 11:00 as we approached the riverfront where all of the happening clubs are. We passed the Casinos, that could wait, and went to a club called Kokopellis. It was full to the brim, but there's always room when Rod and Skip are at the door.

As we entered I quickly spotted a bronzed beauty eyeballing me from the bar. Normally I would shun such advances, but Rod Ecstasy doesn't let opportunities pass him by. Rod Ecstasy lives every moment to the fullest. I sat next to her and ordered a drink and one for the lady. While the buxom barmaid filled our orders I introduced myself.

"Hi there, I'm Rod Ecstasy, playboy billionaire and industrialist magnate. You've probably heard of me. I just happen to be in town for a few days before I fly out to the Orient to close a big business deal. I live for the moment. How about you?" Smooth. She was gobbling up what I was setting down.

The barmaid returned with our drinks and a bill for $17.50. I pulled my wallet out and looked at the expectant server with the eyes of my gorgeous target on me, "You do take Diner's Club right? No?????? Well, I guess I'll have to pay with my check card from my untraceable Swiss Bank account. What, you don't take that either?" I quickly empty my glass. " You see I just arrived into the country and don't have much American money on me. If you take Russian rubles then I've got enough on me to pay for the drinks and the rest of the club on top of that." The saucy bartender shoots something back at me about not accepting rubles and some nonsense about a currency called "Euros". I just shrug and turn to my ardent admirer. "If you can cover this, I guarantee I'll make it up to you on my private jet". She looks at me in disbelief. Obviously she can't believe her own good luck. She's a smart girl though and pays for the drinks. An investment in her future if you will.

As I chat to the lady of the night my gaze wanders across the room and something is dreadfully wrong. Where is my companion? I finally spotted him standing in a corner looking thunderstruck. I let my lady know that I have to check on my friend and that I'll be right back...