Knock Knock. Who's there? Mad Skills!

One of the questions I'm asked most often is when are the Rapscallions (my two man organic culinary rap group) going to drop a new album. It's certainly taken a lot longer than I would've liked. I don't want to get into all the details. Suffice it to say there was a domino effect that began with a regrettable romantic interlude with Patrick and Gina Neely that eventually led to the incarceration of our major financial backer (Lindsay Lohan).

All of that is out of the way now though. The Rapscallions featuring MC Gay Sails and DJ Beats Off is set to release our newest album, Masturbatronics. It's been hailed by some as the best music album to come out since Edison first produced the gramophone. I don't want to say too much right now, but I know that our fans have been clamoring for news. So with out further ado here is the track listing:

1. A Game of Inches

2. Lubrication

3. There's A Neely In My Pants

4. FIFA

5. Rocket Ship To Atlantis

6. Hello Tissue

7. NoTex HoPlex

8. It's Called a Breath Mint (The Pat Neely Song)

9. Gangsta Biznitch (ft. Lindsay Lohan)

10. Locally Grown

11. Sensual Internet Lover

12. Silky Hands

13. Always Finish First

14. The Door's Locked For A Reason

15. Don't Come In! I'm Busy Right Now.

Plus a secret special bonus track.