Thursday, August 02, 2007

Night Time Thoughts

I've stated before that I believe that we all have moments of clarity when the great morass of daily life clears and we suddenly can see things for what they truly are. The mist parts and in seeing the truth we become strong. These moments are sometimes accompanied with great surges of thought, feeling, or determination.

I had one of those moments last night as a I lay in bed. Something about laying in the darkness, with the sheets only partially covering me, and the overhead fan sending waves of air to brush my skin put my mind and heart traveling down the path to clarity. As I said, these moments are accompanied by different thoughts and feelings that have probably been bottled up or obscured for any length of time. I find at these times that the things that are truly important to me come to the forefront of my thought. I realize how grateful I should be for these things and people.

As I lay there many of thoughts took the form of a poem in my head. This happens frome time to time, and I almost never share them. Poems are a very personal form of art and expression. People get very judgemental with things like that and I tend not to want to expose my emotions to these criticisms. I have the utmost respect for those that are brave enough to do this. I find that I am just as judgemental as those I fear, but I credit the individual for being strong enough to put it out there. So it with hesitancy and trepidation that I share with you the poem that flooded my thoughts as I lay in bed last night. If you feel that you will not be able to read it without caustic sentiment or simply don't want to see this side of me then by all means do not proceed.

I know that you are not good for me.
You are a desire
And yet you flood my mind.
I dream of embracing you.
That moment when my lips make contact
and the universe explodes.
Even though you are not here
I imagine your essence and
your scent seems to linger in the air.
The wait for morning is agony.
I long for the time when I can reach out and make contact.
I know that I am not the only one who has eyes for you.
Louche contemplations.
There are others who will get to you before me.
I've come to grips with that,
But I cannot deny what I know in my heart.
I need you.
And so I will stand in line if need be.
I will wait for my opportunity.
And when that time comes and
Those quizzical eyes turn to me.
My stomach will churn with anticipation and
I will proudly announce to the world
That I will wait no longer for you
Meatball Sub.