Thursday, August 23, 2007

We Apologize for The Interruption

Life has gotten hectic. You will be returned to your regularly scheduled program shortly.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I will now continue the telling of the epic travels that Q and I underwent this weekend past. We traveled into the wee hours of the night finally arriving in our destination, Shreveport by cover of darkness. As we did so we shed our normal lives to travel as our alternate persona's Ecstasy and McBoner. I was successfully laying my game down when I saw my compatriot in obvious distress. Thus I give you:

Confessions Part II

The Travails of Rod and Skip. Two Men. One Mission.

I hurried across the packed club to Skip's side. The crowd parted before me like the Red Sea for Moses, such is the respect that Rod Ecstasy commands. As I approached I saw where his glazed over gaze was looking. Standing on the other side of the club beyond the sea of writhing bodies was a woman unlike any other. She had an exotic look, as if every nation of the world had sacrificed their most beautiful women to a mad experiment that would combine them all. Who ever the Dr. Frankenstein was that concocted this woman in his lab was surely a genius.

"What's wrong Skip?" I asked. "It's time to make your move". Skip couldn't answer me though, all he could do was give that "deer in headlights" look and shake his head. I tried to break through, "This isn't a question of should you. You have to". He merely looked pleadingly at me at and said he couldn't. He had met his match. I assumed that meant he was out of money or that she was too expensive. "That's loser talk man!!! Skip McBoner and Rod Ecstasy are not losers! Do you think I could have accumulated such a vast fortune and become an industrialist magnate if I was scared to take chances? No. And couldn't have traveled the world rescuing invaluable treasures from the booby trapped tombs where they lie if you were scared to make a move! This is going to happen."

Skip looked at me and as our eyes met they turned to steely resolve. He knew what had to come next. We had learned long ago from Maverick in Top Gun that to get a woman as foxy as Kelly McGillis all you had to do was sing. It was an undeniable truth. It is an aphrodisiac so strong that it cannot be resisted. Much like Funky Cold Medina.

We took the microphone and the lights dimmed across the room except where we stood. The DJ spoke over the awed crowd, "Tonight we have a special group that is going to perform for you. First I'd like to introduce Rod Ecstasy". There was a smattering of applause. They couldn't believe that it was really me. I knew they would tell their kids and grand kids about this one day. The DJ continued, "Performing with him is Rod McEcstasy." What the fuck? Skip just walked on up as if nothing had happened.

"No! No! He's not Rod McEcstasy! He's Skip McBoner! I'm Rod Ecstasy."

The DJ wanted to be a dick, "The card says McEcstasy. let's give it up for them".

"Well the card's wrong. I'm Rod Ecstasy!! Me!!" I protested as the crowd looked on clearly getting confused. I tried to straighten it out for everyone but the music began. What I had requested was You Lost That Lovin Feelin' by the Righteous Brothers. What I got was Make it Rain by Fat Joe. This DJ obviously was confused. No matter. I hit the ground running and Skip joined in on the chorus:

Yeah, I'm in this bitch for terror
Got a handful of stacks
Better grab an umbrella
I make it rain, I make it rain

Then in a moment of serendipity Skip and the DJ instinctively changed tunes the second time through the chorus. As soon as we reached the word umbrella, Skip immediately twice echoed the last two syllables and took it into Rihanna's Umbrella. This left me singing Chris Brown's part. Not exactly the partner I would have chosen for this song but as we closed out the song we were met with a calamitous round of applause. I knew it was a success even as Skip and I made our way towards his exotic prize and my waiting bronzed goddess. We weren't past all of the hurdles yet though and the next one was making a beeline towards us with heart full of hate.

Monday, August 20, 2007

So, I've gotten about 239 e-mails asking me about the weekend trip with Q. Most of them were from Q's mom who doesn't trust his version of events. Some of them were from Federal Agents trying to get me to admit too much. Still others were from you the concerned and loving Blog United Nations. I received e-mails from as near as fellow North Texans to as far away as South Texas. So wait no longer, sit back and I will tell you of a journey so harrowing and momentous it could only be called...

The Opus of Ecstasy and McBoner

It began on Friday evening as I met Q at his fortress on the corner. I don't know if he has ever mentioned this, but the Q family are reputed land barons in North Texas and so there was plenty of room for me to leave my Mustang dripping oil while we were away. Q was antsy to get going. I had almost made it to the door with my bag in hand when he came bursting out the other way pointing to his fleet of vehicles. He chose a shiny SUV. Nice but subdued so as not to garner too much attention. Good choice.

We set a course for Shreveport, Louisiana aka Cajun Vegas. It was a few hours of driving before we approached the state line and darkness had already fallen. As we entered Waskom we pulled into the Dairy Queen parking lot. Just a few scant miles from the state border. We pulled out our wallets and slid the I.D.s from their protective sleeves. They went into the glove compartment along with my wedding ring and Q's "Wham #1 Fan" button that he almost always wears. We changed clothes. Me into my silk shirt and pinstripe suit. Q into his tweed jacket, tie, and corduroy pants. As he placed his worn leather hat upon his head the transformation was complete. We were no longer Dagromm and Q. We had assumed the identities that we always do when we cross state lines. I became Rod Ecstasy, playboy billionaire, and industrialist magnate. Q as always was Skip McBoner, archaeologist adventurer and world traveler.

Before anyone could see what we had done we slipped from the shadows and proceeded across the border to the state with no remorse, Louisiana. It was about 11:00 as we approached the riverfront where all of the happening clubs are. We passed the Casinos, that could wait, and went to a club called Kokopellis. It was full to the brim, but there's always room when Rod and Skip are at the door.

As we entered I quickly spotted a bronzed beauty eyeballing me from the bar. Normally I would shun such advances, but Rod Ecstasy doesn't let opportunities pass him by. Rod Ecstasy lives every moment to the fullest. I sat next to her and ordered a drink and one for the lady. While the buxom barmaid filled our orders I introduced myself.

"Hi there, I'm Rod Ecstasy, playboy billionaire and industrialist magnate. You've probably heard of me. I just happen to be in town for a few days before I fly out to the Orient to close a big business deal. I live for the moment. How about you?" Smooth. She was gobbling up what I was setting down.

The barmaid returned with our drinks and a bill for $17.50. I pulled my wallet out and looked at the expectant server with the eyes of my gorgeous target on me, "You do take Diner's Club right? No?????? Well, I guess I'll have to pay with my check card from my untraceable Swiss Bank account. What, you don't take that either?" I quickly empty my glass. " You see I just arrived into the country and don't have much American money on me. If you take Russian rubles then I've got enough on me to pay for the drinks and the rest of the club on top of that." The saucy bartender shoots something back at me about not accepting rubles and some nonsense about a currency called "Euros". I just shrug and turn to my ardent admirer. "If you can cover this, I guarantee I'll make it up to you on my private jet". She looks at me in disbelief. Obviously she can't believe her own good luck. She's a smart girl though and pays for the drinks. An investment in her future if you will.

As I chat to the lady of the night my gaze wanders across the room and something is dreadfully wrong. Where is my companion? I finally spotted him standing in a corner looking thunderstruck. I let my lady know that I have to check on my friend and that I'll be right back...

Friday, August 17, 2007

This is Why, This is Why, This is Why I'm Hot

Hot excited? Hot sexy? Hot happening? Hell yeah!

I've continued to keep up the momentum from Susan's ten pound challenge and have exceeded my target. That's how I do. I've now lost over thirteen pounds and the jeans that had gotten too uncomfortably tight now fit very comfortably again. My diet on a normal workday goes something like this.

Breakfast - Fruit (banana, pear, plum, whatever I have on hand at the time)
Mid-morning snack - Dry cereal and cranberries. Right now the cereal is Special K, but it varies with what's on sale.
Lunch-some sort of protein drink. I've gotten used to the Myoplex Light.
Afternoon snack - Snickers Energy Bar or crackers or raisins.
Dinner - Grilled meat, veggies.

I don't kill myself with the diet. It does vary and I don't deny myself something I want. When people at the office bring in stuff (donuts, kolaches, etc.) I'll still help myself, but I monitor how much I take. I also am a less disciplined on weekends and really whenever I feel like it, but so far I haven't had much trouble sticking to this.

Anyway, I've gotten leaner and am feeling pretty good about it.

Shifting gears roughly, soccer practices have geared back up this week. We've got three new girls on the team, all with previous experience and from what I've seen so far we're going to be a tough team to beat. I'm upset with the league about not placing one of our returning players back with us that registered during late registration saying that they had alreaady filled her spot. We were willing as a team to play up a year to have more roster spots, but in the end the league pulled the rug out from us on that one too. So we will have to wait a season or two to get her back. I'm so excited about getting this season going and finally getting to see the girls in action and figuring out what they need to work on. My daughter is also excited, because she loves to compete and recognizes that the team is getting better.

Hear that? That's the transmission trying to handle me very poorly dropping the clutch and shifting gears again. The boy got his football jersey last night. My wife says that he was looking anxious when they were handing them out and was possibly afraid he wasn't going to get one. He was proud of his jersey with the Dagromm name on the back. I admit they look nice. I'm sorely disappointed that they've scheduled a "preseason game" this weekend that I will miss. I am excited however about my weekend plans. Q and I have our annual trip to Shreveport scheduled already and we can't disappoint the bookies! Cyber D used to come with us every year, but he has submitted to the dominating authority of his wife and doesn't come any more. I on the other hand retain my manhood and go where I please when I please!

Dagromm Out!!!!!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Some Decisions

I've made a few decisions that I thought I'd share. First of all Lasic surgery is for losers. I like contacts and glasses. I get to change up my look. Sometimes I look like the professor with the smokin' hot bod. Other times I'm the sporty looking guy with the smokin' hot bod. So, you can keep your stupid Lasic surgery. I don't need it.

Next, big screen hi-def plasma T.V.'s suck. It totally ruins the look of your room when you can't have that massive space consuming entertainment center. Where are you gonna store all of those old VHS tapes??? Sure you could still put the T.V. on an entertainment center, but then you're just being stupid. So they suck.

Third, new luxury cars BLOW. Why would you want to drive some comfy shiny piece of crap when you could be like a real American and drive a shitty old Mustang? I believe that every trip should be an adventure and there's no bigger adventure then not knowing if you're going to make it to your destination every time you strap the seat belt on. So you can keep your Cadillacs, Mercedes, BMW's, etc. I'm not interested.

Lobster dinners at fancy restaraunts are awful. Who would want that? Not me, I tell you.

Playstation 3's? Garbage.

Stays at resorts and spas? Crap.

Having people cook, clean, do your lawn? Stupid. Really really stupid. Just so stupid!!!

Monday, August 13, 2007

A Bunny Pic

I took this shot a while back on with the Mint Chocolate by LG phone that I carry. I know how the group likes their bunny pictures and thought of my blog friends when I was at the costume shop and saw this.

Why was I at the costume shop? Don't judge me!

Friday, August 10, 2007


If you like your westerns with a Muy Thai twist then this movie is for you. Loads of action scenes, the likes of which seem to make perfect sense in foreign movies. As opposed to other westerns in which the hero rides in on a huge white stallion, this hero rides in standing on a rocket! He then commits to kicking so much ass that this movie can't help but be a winner.

Mix in a villainous tractor dealer, mystics with magical powers, and the threat of a cannibalistic evil henchman and this movie has all of the ingredients for a recurring franchise. I know what you're thinking, "This sounds exactly like Unforgiven", but trust me it's different.

So, when you get the chance add Dynamite Warrior to your online movie que, get your curry noodles ready, sit back and enjoy. This movie earns a solid A-.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

If Your Actions Inspire Others

Well blog folk, I have to admit that I am impressed and somewhat concerned that I have inspired so many of you to take up the dangerous pastime of storm chasing. I have received numerous e-mails from around the world with your own pictures of Mother Nature dressed in her most wicked of clubbing clothes bringing her wrath down upon the world. I just urge you all to consider your own safety first and don't feel that you have to live up to my example of daring. It's too much to attempt.

The first picture comes from the D.C. area. It appears that the photographer has taken to higher ground to get this pic which of course has it's pros and cons. I myself prefer to stay at "ground zero" for my pictures, but I don't fault anyone for looking for protective cover.

The next picture comes courtesy of Eslocura. I know that Cyber D protested this picture saying that the American government had put a stop to Puerto Rico getting rainbows anymore. As soon as he saw it he was on the phone calling Congressman and Senators to try and get this idea enacted.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007


The boy has completed 1 1/2 weeks of practice for football now. The first week was all conditioning and basics. This week has been in full gear with hitting. Practice #1 was fine. The second practice was fine as well. The third practice he lost his helmet at the field somewhere. Not a good night for the boy as he had to endure some Dagrommian fury at it's worst. The fourth practice his coach brought the helmet which he had found, and the boy had to run more laps than any football player, ever. Punishment for losing his helmet and for not paying enough attention to the drills. The fifth practice was full contact and had some tackling/hitting drills. The boy got lit up. Repeatedly. He made one tackle to which everyone really cheered him. Otherwise he was blown up by the other kids. Everything you could do wrong in trying to tackle someone he did. Poor form, too high, tentative, lack of power. It looked painful. Repeatedly. Yesterday he made two tackles at practice and felt that he did better. He still got blown up a lot. The team gave him an ovation at the end of practice for his effort. The coach told him that if he didn't quit before the first game then he would buy him dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Now he's motivated. Hell, if I'd thought of it I'd have told the kid to attack the others like they were made of mole sauce. He loves himself some Mexican food.

Two more practices to go this week. Here's hoping he figures it out before he gets himself killed.

Friday, August 03, 2007

If I Ever Go To Prison (again)...

let it please be in the Philipines.

Ahhhh Yes. The Old Make a Movie Out of a Syndicated TV Show Trick!

I was all set to blog about any number of different ideas and notes that I've been meaning to get to for a while when I stumbled across this news last night and had to look for more information.

This has potential to be really good or really terrible. I like the cast so far, I'm just worried about the writing/directing.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Night Time Thoughts

I've stated before that I believe that we all have moments of clarity when the great morass of daily life clears and we suddenly can see things for what they truly are. The mist parts and in seeing the truth we become strong. These moments are sometimes accompanied with great surges of thought, feeling, or determination.

I had one of those moments last night as a I lay in bed. Something about laying in the darkness, with the sheets only partially covering me, and the overhead fan sending waves of air to brush my skin put my mind and heart traveling down the path to clarity. As I said, these moments are accompanied by different thoughts and feelings that have probably been bottled up or obscured for any length of time. I find at these times that the things that are truly important to me come to the forefront of my thought. I realize how grateful I should be for these things and people.

As I lay there many of thoughts took the form of a poem in my head. This happens frome time to time, and I almost never share them. Poems are a very personal form of art and expression. People get very judgemental with things like that and I tend not to want to expose my emotions to these criticisms. I have the utmost respect for those that are brave enough to do this. I find that I am just as judgemental as those I fear, but I credit the individual for being strong enough to put it out there. So it with hesitancy and trepidation that I share with you the poem that flooded my thoughts as I lay in bed last night. If you feel that you will not be able to read it without caustic sentiment or simply don't want to see this side of me then by all means do not proceed.

I know that you are not good for me.
You are a desire
And yet you flood my mind.
I dream of embracing you.
That moment when my lips make contact
and the universe explodes.
Even though you are not here
I imagine your essence and
your scent seems to linger in the air.
The wait for morning is agony.
I long for the time when I can reach out and make contact.
I know that I am not the only one who has eyes for you.
Louche contemplations.
There are others who will get to you before me.
I've come to grips with that,
But I cannot deny what I know in my heart.
I need you.
And so I will stand in line if need be.
I will wait for my opportunity.
And when that time comes and
Those quizzical eyes turn to me.
My stomach will churn with anticipation and
I will proudly announce to the world
That I will wait no longer for you
Meatball Sub.