Friday, June 29, 2007

The Unerring and Most Accurate Recollections of the Blogworthy Weekend Shared by the Crotch Wizards

Part 3

The third day was met in a groggy fashion as Cyber D and Q arrived at the House of Dagromm in the early hours of the morning. Gyuss, Pokiman, and I had already awoken. I severely burned from long shirtless hours in the sun. Pokiman and Gyuss severely burning from unprotected sex in a less than hygienic fashion.

Still we were excited to meet the days challenges head on. We all had visions of the everlasting glory that we would have for the next year if we could triumph in any of the days' events. Q had early success as the first competition was his strongest, Twister. In anything Q considers a contact sport he likes to bring the pain and with Gyuss, Poki, and myself being in weakened states we were little competition. Cyber D was much to fragile for Q's onslaught and this one was over before it ever truly began.
The next tournament was a closely contested battle for supremacy between Gyuss and myself. The Slip and Slide was pushed to its limits as we each tried to outduel each other. There has been some controversy as to what the final results of this contest were. Although I dominated the early goings on Gyuss was able to squeek out some success towards the end. In the end, nobody wanted to tell Gyuss he had ultimately lost.

We moved on to a game of survival, which may sound dangerous but when you hang with the Wizards you learn to thrive on danger. I won't go into details about the competition but I will say that it included shotguns, fire axes, explosives. I don't really remember who won this challenge. It wasn't me so I tried to forget about it.

We moved on to a challenge where we switched from the hunted to the hunter and no cheerleader was safe. For this we split into pairs and since there was an odd number of attendees I paired up with my son. I can't account for anyone else, but my son did well for his young age. He had tons of enthusiasm and was pleased that he was getting to join in on some manly fun. I think that Cyber D and Pokiman also did well. Gyuss and Q? Not so much.

Lastly, was the battle of knowledge. Sadly this was a lot less competitive than I would have expected. It came down to Q and myself. I was able to secure 1st runner up and Q won on a poor judges decision. They approved an incorrect answer as being "close enough". I'm not bitter or anything, but that shit isn't happening again! Whatever, I should've known Q would be fixed. What a bunch of a-holes!!!!

My family was great to put up with us the entire 14 hours that day. My son participated at points which was cool even if he was a little over enthusiastic at times. My daughter was cool and didn't raise a fit at being ignored all day. I think I've set her up for some really healthy relationships in the future.

17 comments:

Gyuss Baaltar said...

Dags, your boy is growing up into a good man. And by that I mean a man who brings his own minitures to the table.

I'm still disputing the Slip-and-Slide ruling. I think it's unfair that you had an industrial sized canister of K-Y spread over your entire body. What were you doing with that much lube anyways?

Cyber D said...

All true accept for the battle of knowledge... that was my victory, Dags! Thanks for trying to steal it from me in your so called true account of the weekend.

And just for the record... the battle of survival was also my victory.

No respect... no respect.

Q said...

Cyber(Corona)D - I believe I won that, with Dagromm a very very close second. In fact we may have almost tied.

There can be only one winner in each challenge Cyber(Corona)D and that victory went to Dagromm and Pokiman in a tie decision. Can't you give someone else some credit when they beat you? Jeez!

I also believe I put my respect all over your back in the kitchen.

Tera said...

I love Twister!!

And uh, Dagromm where'd you find that industrial sized tube-o-lube??? Inquiring minds want to know...

Dagromm said...

Gyuss - I got laid off a year or so back and I couldn't think of anything better to spend my severence check on.

Cyber D - That's not how I recall it.

Q - Thank you for verifying the story. And I'd thank you not to respect my kitchen like that again.

Tera - Sam's Club.

Susan said...

Was the lube flavored? Just curious..

Dagromm said...

Susan - It's Dagromm flavored, I imagine.

Cyber D said...

Dags, I hate you so much. Q and you know the truth and the truth will bend you over and make you my bitch someday.

Q said...

In my dreams Cyber(Corona)D...

Susan said...

Do you taste like strawberry? I love strawberry

Dagromm said...

Cyber D - In your dreams.

Q - In your dreams

Susan - I taste like lion, testosterone, jet fuel, and salisbury steak.

Churlita said...

So, how do you know what you taste like? Did your wife tell you, or do you lick yourself a lot?

Dagromm said...

Churlita - The fifth amendment guarantees me the freedom not to answer that quesion.

Susan said...

You had me at lion.

EsLocura said...

slip and slide and tub of lube, damn that was a hot weekend.

heather said...

how awesome! your daughter finaly had a well deserved day off from keeping you entertained and out of trouble. it can be so wearing on a person to have to be their parents caretaker. :-)

at least that's how cheeks makes it sound sometimes. lol

Dagromm said...

Susan - Yessssssssss!

Eslocura - You knew it would be. I mentioned the shirt was off right?

Heather - I think she would agree with you whole heartedly.