Monday, September 24, 2007

And at long last we reach the conclusion my friends. When we left off the story of the tumultuous weekend that Q and I shared as our alter egos (Rod Ecstasy and Skip McBoner) the sound of approaching sirens could be heard outside of the blood spattered warehouse where we found ourselves. Skip was kneeling over the headless corpse of Barbara Bush sobbing uncontrollably, and apparently under the mistaken impression that she was Lady Bird Johnson. So I give you the thrilling and heart wrenching conclusion.

Part 24

The Big Send Off

We'd been set up and I knew it. The events of the past 36 hours swam through my head in a dizzying blur. Possibly it was the after effects of the mickey that I was still feeling. Regardless the feds were closing in and it was a perfect trap. We were done for. I tried to get Skip to help me figure something out, but all he could do was whimper and keep repeating, "I'm so sorry Ladybird. You're a hero to me."

I steeled myself for what I knew I must do. I could hear the brakes squealing outside and the cars coming to a stop. Any minute they would be storming inside. I walked around the room and slowly pulled the police issued Beretta M9-92FS pistol from my waist band. I placed the barrel to the back of Skip's skull and thought momentarily about Of Mice and Men. "Don't worry Skip. We'll raise bunnies, and there won't ever be any trouble," I whispered. The gun recoiled sharply as I unloaded 5 quick shots into my friend. Then quicker than a greased panther I placed the gun into what was left of his burned and mangled hand.

As the federal agents burst through the door I threw up my hands and yelled, "Don't shoot. Don't shoot!!! He was crazy. Murder suicide!!! Murder suicide!!!! It's real popular now a days!! So that's what he did! Blame video games not me!!!" Unfortunately as I raised my hands the tattered remains of my Kevlar vest lifted far enough for the feds to see the plastic explosive that I still had strapped to my torso. My last few moments on earth were spent thinking how Butch and Sundance went out better than George and Lennie and how I wish that had occurred to me earlier. The bullets riddled my body at that moment and my meticulously chiseled physique was torn asunder. It actually might have been torn some other way, but I don't any other way in which things are torn, except asunder.


heather said...

YAY!!! you're back! :-)

well sorta that is. are you posting from the great beyond? is that what caused the delay? where is your body dispalyed? is it in a glass case like that guy in spain or france? (somewhere in europe i think, i can't remember right now)some sort of government guy i think. they didn't mess up your face did they? what's the other side like? can you send us pictures?

*you were missed*

Dagromm said...

Heather - never left. Where have you been? Nobody's commented on my last twenty installments of Rod and Skip, but I vowed to tell the tale and now it is finally complete.

Heather I can honestly tell you that the great beyond is quite comfortable, temperate, and fluffy. Alas the good Lord God in his infinite wisdom sent me back. My body is on display at my workplace everyday and the soccer field for all the worlds soccer moms to appreciate.

Cyber D said...

First, i'd like to say that I had really big plans for a celebration around the 50th post on the previous post... so thanks for nothing! Second. what the Eff? 24 posts on Rod and Skip? I assume you will release a paperback version b/c your blog administrator must have censored you!

Tera said...

Rod who? Skip what? Hmph! I guess it's been so long since you posted that I actually forgot what the hell you were talking about *lip poked out, folding arms, with nose up in the air and rolling eyes.

Gyuss Baaltar said...

Get moving. You've got a months worth of posts on my blog to comment on.

NoRegrets said...

Did you make up with The Rock?

Susan said...

Wow. You're back. I have to admit this isn't the cuddly bunny lovin' version I was expecting but..yeah..when does what I expect ever happen in regards to a quad outing?

Dagromm said...

Cyber D - I don't know what you're talking about, it's all there just go on back and read because me and Q had a hell of a time.

Tera - I've BEEN posting. What the hell is everyone talking about?????

Gyuss - No, not really.

Nore - No, not really.

Dagromm said...

Susan - OK, I just checked, because everyone was throwing out the, "your back" comments and apparently my last twenty or so posts are missing.

I'm so pissed with Blogger right now. If I find Mr. Bloggleton I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!!!

heather said...

hmmm, anyone else get the feeling dags is pulling a 'the dog ate my homework' on us?

Dagromm said...

Heather - If you'd read part 17 you would know that the dog in fact ate an extra large prophylactic filled with Splenda from Skips right front pocket.