Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Clean Sweep

Today is "Office Clean Up Day" at work. The idea is that everyone will go through their workspace, collect all unused office supplies, and take them to the Facilities Department. I think management has some fanciful idea that I am going to happily participate and hand back over all of the office supplies that I've carefully collected and hoarded over the last six months. I can guarantee that there is very little possibility of that.

In return, the department that hands over the most stuff will win a free pizza lunch. Ooooh fun!!!! Wow pizza!!! What a motivation!! I'm really gonna bust my ass for some pizza that I have to share with my coworkers. How come as adult professionals they try to motivate us the same way they did when we were in elementary school? A pizza party indeed!! Why not just offer us a chance to get a sticker out of the Treasure Chest?

I have decided though that since I wanted to wear jeans today and be comfy I would go ahead and throw some of the junk away that I've been keeping around my office.

Good bye corkscrew that I held onto just in case some vendor decided to send me a contraband bottle of wine. I'm turning over a new leaf and will now just bring you around holiday season.

See you later potato gun. You helped me get around that pesky "No weapons in the workplace" policy, but I think I'll just whittle a shank out of my name plate instead.

Hasta la vista random discounted chemicals. You have intimidated my boss long enough to give me job security for as long as I want it. Thank you.

Take it easy little rodent. Your companionship has grown wearisome. Your going into the trash with the rest of it.
Be gone 48x36 picture of David Hasselhoff. We shared a lot of experiences. The less said about that the better.

Take a hike picture of "girlfriend that lives in Canada". I don't think anybody really bought our relationship anyway.

19 comments:

Q said...

I would totally go through the box where people are putting office supplies and get some more shit. How many 2 hole punches is too many, you know.

I do love pizza parties though.

Dagromm said...

Good idea!!! I could really load up. Do you want to drive your truck down here and help me load it up?

Q said...

Absolutely!

Tera said...

I'm surprised you keep what you've hoarded in the office!!! I've got that shit at home!

A potato gun huh? I think I've got something that resembles that...vaguely...but it's not at the office though!!! LOL!

cyber D said...

I can't believe you're giving back that poster of DH! I thought you said you would give me dibs!

Dagromm said...

Q - Nice. I'll be out front with a dolly full of office supplies.

Tera - Did you make yours out of PVC pipe, duct tape, and pressurized gas like I did? Yeah? Awesome!

CyberD - Men don't give dibs. Dibs can only be taken. Often by force. I swear your like having a second son to raise.

mist1 said...

What were the chances that we both posted photos of The Hoff today?

Gyuss Baaltar said...

This discussion of dibs makes me nervous.

Reminds of the great MOB war of 1997 that all started over a small disagreement on the rules of "shotgun"

Dagromm said...

Mist - Judging by what a bad ass the Hoffster is, I'd say it was just a matter of time.

Gyuss - My God!!! Shotgun is one of the holiest rights of man. The rules must be followed at all time.

Churlita said...

In my office, I pretend that David Hasselhoff is my "girlfriend who lives in Canada".

Dagromm said...

Churlita - Good choice! Not only does he drive an awesome car with a computerized personality, he also saves people's lives every day by hiring buxom life guards that supposedly can swim very well, and at nights is a detective. If that resume can't get you laid then.....well......I guess my entire life will have been wasted.

Susan said...

As long as the Hoff is around no food shall go wasted. I don't think you should discard him so quickly. You don't know a good thing until it's gone.

Dagromm said...

It's not easy to do Susan, but change (like Gary Busey) is inevitable.

cyber D said...

Q, well isn't that just hypocritical of you. Talking about raising someone like a second son. You're the one that always insistst that I help you hold your "pepe" when you go "wewe" in the "potty"!

LIT said...

I never knew you "insistst"ed.

Stuttering at the end of words is extremely rare.

Dagromm said...

CyberD - I guess we need to discuss what confidentiality means.

Lit - My mom the speech therapist everybody.

LIT said...

And you question someone else's use of this word---"confidentiality"?

HA!

heather said...

dh is getting scarier every year! ewww, yuck!

as far as the whole office supply deal, sounds like an invitation to steal a bunch of office supplies you have no intention of ever using so that you have a ton of stuff to turn in for the pizza party. (on top of the stuff you store at home that is ;-> )

Dagromm said...

Lit - Yep, that's about right.

Heather - I don't even have to win the competition to go to the party. I'm in HR, I get to invite myself to everybody's luncheons and parties. I daresay it's my job. It's one of the main reasons I chose this profession.