A New Parenting Low
I had a heart to heart talk with my son the other day. I love my son and think he's smart, fun, and just a really good kid, but his social skills are pretty bad. I don't think he has many friends at school and this was reinforced as he wanted to by a yearbook to remember his teacher since we moved and he will be attending a different school next year. He even wanted to know if we could invite her over some time. He wasn't going to miss any of the other kids in particular, but he was going to miss his teacher. He also told me that a couple of kids were making fun of him because "they think he toots a lot". I asked him if he farted a lot at school and he said, "only twice" that day. So I realize that we've done a good job of raising a nice kid and a good son, but maybe a little too naive and innocent for his own good. I had a private conversation and let him know that even though we've taught him not to make big a deal out of people farting that other people still will make a big deal of it. I explained that if he is letting out farts everyday at school then the other kids are going to think that he is weird (God bless him he is). I also talked to him about not letting other people make fun of him. His tendency is to blow it off, but I think it still hurts his feelings. I let him know that when people speak to him like that, it's bullying just as if they were taking swings at him. I let him know that if somebody is going to verbally assault you you need to be ready to fight back. If it's going to be an insult fight than you need to have a come back. He said that he didn't know any come backs. I said that it's not always easy to have a come back, but that if all else fails then you can you use the old reliable of come backs..."Your mother".
So this probably marks my point of absolute failure as a parent that I've now advised my son to insult another kid's mother. I pointed out that this was a failsafe and not to be used lightly. I also pointed out that if he invokes the power of "your mother" that he better be ready for the other kid to get mad. Oh well, he starts at the new school next semester and hopefully we can get some of these behavioral things worked out.
Just a weird side note. Apparently, the word "fart" isn't in the spell check dictionary for Blogger. Must be a nice world they live in.
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4 comments:
Let me know any time you need someone to play the "bad uncle". I don't mind teaching him how to kick someone in the nuts and following it up with a punch in the nose. That usually works when you're scared to death and surrounded by big bullies.
I bought him a switch blade instead. Is that bad parenting as well?
Making friends is more difficult that anyone is willing to admit and I speak from personal experiance. I feel for you and for your son.
I found that it was best to start the verbal abuse than to let some one else. He is a smart kid so give the advice to say something completely asinine and then make fun of his verbal assaulter for being stupid and not understanding it, that will really rile them up I assure you. As a side note be sure to warn him of the ass kickings that will ensue, I never was a very good fighter but I took many a beating in my school days 'cause of my big mouth and quick wit. Also you need to teach to run after the kid that just hit him and give him a fist to the lower part of the rear of the skull a very useful trick, sure to ensure yourself more ass kickings, when your assailant gets up.
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