Recent Santorum News

Ripped from today's headlines. According to a news article today on CNN.com's website today about the new buzzwords of the GOP we get the following:

Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pennsylvania, in a tough re-election fight, drew parallels on Monday between World War II and the current war against "Islamic fascism," saying they both require fighting a common foe in multiple countries. It's a phrase Santorum has been using for months.

So as you see. Santorum isn't just a recent local flash in the pan. It's a growing world wide concern.

Your Stripper Song Is
Closer by Nine Inch Nails"You let me violate you, you let me desecrate youYou let me penetrate you, you let me complicate youHelp me I broke apart my insides, help me I?ve got noSoul to tell"When you dance, it's a little scary - and a lot sexy.

I just thought you'd all want to know what I scored on my blogthings stripper song personality quiz.

Don't Do This

If you go to all the trouble of buying or putting together your tough guy bike. Don't ruin it by gaying it up with tassels. What happens to these guys? They get a motorcycle and then they seem to think it would be a good idea to wear leather chaps and have streamers flying from their handlebars? The only people who should have any sort of tassels are strippers, highschool graduates who are becoming strippers, and the Ultimate Warrior. Unless you fall into one of those categories, please stay away.

While trying to fill out my own meme much like Q's. I was reminded of my love for Tom Lehrer music. I don't think he's had any albums out for many years, but I have fond memories of his musical ability and his funny lyrics. Besides doing his comedic stage act he would play the piano and sing songs like his theme for an Oedipus Rex movie, Poisoning Pigeons in the Park, and The Elements where he puts the entire periodic chart to music. I found a clip from part of his stage act in between songs and will reprint it for you here:

Now, I'm sure you're all aware that this week is national gall-bladder week. So as sort of an educational feature at this point I thought I would acquaint you with some of the results of my recent researches into the career of the late doctor Samuel Gall, inventor of the gall-bladder. Which certainly ranks as one of the more important technological advances since the invention of the joy-buzzer and the dribble-glass. Doctor Gall's faith in his invention was so dramatically vindicated last year, as you no doubt recall, when, for the first time in history, in a nation-wide poll the gall-bladder was voted among the top ten organs. His educational career began interestingly enough in agricultural school, where he majored in animal husbandry, until they caught him at it one day. Whereupon he switched to the field of medicine in which field he also won renown as the inventor of gargling. Which prior to that time had been practiced only furtively by a remote tribe in the Andes who passed the secret down from father to son as part of their oral tradition. He soon became a specialist, specializing in diseases of the rich. He was therefore able to retire at an early age.

I find oratory like this to be very amusing and now wonder if he isn't actually Lemony Snicket.

The House's Anime Pick of the Day
Ghost Stories
I truly enjoy this anime and have been watching it for the past couple of months. If I had still had Comcast (sigh) when the gang was over i would have insisted that you watch it, but since you all use Netflix or similar services I will now tell you to check out the first volume and see if you aren't hooked. When you watch it you must watch the dubbed version, because it has been overhauled in a completely American way. It is really funny and will probably catch you off guard. Warning: Don't watch it with anyone that will get offended too easily as the anime can be irreverent at times. This however doesn't seem to apply to my kids as they watch it and laugh even when they can't really understand the joke.

If I were commisioner of the NFL, I would make the game so much better and more profitable it's disgusting. First off I would create a new network that would be dedicated to the cheerleaders. Every squad would have their own reality show and on gamedays we would simulcast just the cheerleaders and their routines at the games. Secondly I would change the game time to reflect the most commonly chosen length in Madden, which is five minute quarters. This is an oversight that should have been corrected long ago if the NFL would just open their eyes. Not only would the games become instantly more exciting as all of a sudden teams have to rush to score points, but the stars would get injured less often. How great would that be? Furthermore I would have MTV do the half time shows for each and every nationally televised game, and I think we all know what that means. More nipples. So I know it's a little too late for me and Condi Rice to throw our names into the ring, but next time around...call me.

So I totally recommend that if you're a young Asian lady that is going to a job interview that you dress like this. Personally I think it has the right mix of old school conservatism and the current professionalism that todays' employers crave. Certainly not every job interview is a black tie affair, but you never go wrong by over dressing. It's a show of respect to the people that are taking their time to consider you for employment with their company. So listen up ladies; if you don't want to see anymore American jobs outsourced to other countries start showing up for your interviews dressed like this. It's the only thing that will save America!

An Odd Familial Relationship

Blogger kills me by dropping me at odd times. Normally while I'm writing a post. So here goes for the second time and we'll see if it sticks. When ever someone gets married they inherit a whole new set of family issues. Every family's got them you just don';t normally notice your own family's issues because you grew up with them. Hell you might even think they're normal, but let me tell you your family is not normal. There's good that goes along with it too. At least sometimes. Some people marry into money, fame, or opportunity. Some people get to bang Brady Quinn's sister like former Ohio State linebacker A.J. Hawk. In my case I got a brother in law that loans me his porn. This is kind of cool until you think about the fact that I have sex with his sister, so he must at some point realize that I'm doing at least some of this same stuff with her. maybe not as much of it as I would like, but a fair amount none the less. It's kind of weird being able to share porn with someone that you can't talk about sex with. Oh well, it's not marrying into money, but it's better than nothing.

So today I contemplated which was better: Krystal's or White Castle. Being from Texas neither of these is readily available so it has taken me into my thirties to have now sampled both. Unfortunately for me, being from Texas also means that I also know what beef is supposed to taste like. Trying to pick between Krystal and White Castle is like trying to decide which kind of elephant makes the better turd. In the end it's shit either way. So my advice is to avoid both and go to Watson Burger.

This Baby Knows Knows What You've Done And Is Freaking Apalled

And I'm apalled too. You know better.