Monday, April 23, 2007

Home Wrecker!!!


One of the reasons that Q and I get along so well is that we both like to gamble. It's something that I think I got from my Grandmother who loved going to Vegas and to the horse track. She would play poker with me and my sister for pennies when we would come to visit as children. My other Grandmother would play Yahtzee with us, which is basically the same thing. Q didn't ever know my Grandmothers so I don't know where he gets his love for gambling, but I assume it comes from a need to make himself feel better about his violent addiction to porn. Or is it addiction to violent porn? Whatever.

Q and I go to the horse track together a few times a year and once a year or so will hit the casinos over in Shreveport. We've had some good times, some of which include actually winning money. Not most of them, but some of them. One of the first times we went was on a weekend when there was a BIG college football game in town. CyberD, Q, and I were leaving a casino late one evening andwere in a line of cars waiting to get out of the parking garage. College kids and alums were everywhere drinking and partying all along the river front. We were all talking when the passenger door of a car about three spots ahead of us opened and a girl almost fell out and started puking in an impressive fahion. A college girl that is so inebriated that she is vomiting is one of CyberD's favorite sights so he yelled out, "It's Miller time!!!". While the girl was still half hanging out the car, the guy that was driving gave us the thumbs up and a victorious smile.

There was also the time that Q and I had decided to go back to the casino after we had taken the rest of the group back to the house. We stayed gambling later than we had realized and finally noticed that it wasn't night any more. The sun was coming up and, as we had a big day planned, decided it was time to go back and get a little rest. It turns out that a dewy wet dawn, unfamiliar roads, and lack of sleep weren't optimal conditions for us to be driving CyberD's company car. We were doing fine until we noticed that we were going the wrong way and had to exit the highway. On the exit ramp we woke up rather quickly as the car slid at highway speed straight towards the econoline van stopped straight ahead of us. I turnde the wheel hard to the right. I mashed on the break. And still we slid towards the stop sign and the van without any noticeable deceleration. It's amazing how fast your brain can think when you're suddenly terrified. I was curious what my wife was going to do without me. I was wondering how CyberD was going to explain this to his boss. I was amazed that Q could scream at such a high pitch. Miraculously the car came to a sudden stop about half an inch from the van and we didn't have to mention the event to CyberD for another six years or so.

There's a lot more to say, but this post has just about reached my threshold. I didn't even get around to why I called it Home Wrecker. Oh well, I might just write about gambling experiences this entire week and explain why a little later.

16 comments:

Q said...

After the near death experience I believe I played the best round of golf I have ever played. On 2 hours sleep and with an overly inebriated CyberD riding in the cart with me screaming at every cart girl that we drove by. Man those were good times...

Dagromm said...

You were probably just getting accustomed to golfing with an overly inebriated CyberD riding in the cart screaming at every cart girl that we drove by.

Gyuss Baaltar said...

This is an awesome post.

Carry on.

CyberD's yelling ways do get a little bit embarassing. You should have seen the cat calls he was making at the maid-of-honor last week while she was trying to make her toast...until her big reveal.

heather said...

that's it! i'm gonna get a sex change and hang out with you guys. is it ok if i'm gay though?? ;-)

Q said...

Heather, it is completely and absolutely OK!

heather said...

i'd be a gay ~guy~ ya know q. do you really want to have to explain this to fringes? (sorry, scooter just doesn't roll off of the tounge.)

Dagromm said...

I don't think that Scooter would have any issues with it, unless your famous 'cause then Q would give it up. We have other gay buddies that hang out with us and go on our trips. They are the ones that dress well. That's another casino story for later in the week.

cyberman said...

Dags, Q, and I do have a gay casino story. I do hope Dags will share.

As far as "Miller Time" is concerned... I think once you've emptied your belly of the booze, it means there is always more room for Miller.

Finally, I must admit that Dags did the right thing by witholding said "car story" for six years. Had they come clean it would have probablly taken six years for them to get out of traction after me kicking their ass. But shame on me for trusting them in the first place.

And Q... I don't yell at beer-cart-girls for no good reason. I happened to be preparing to hit a damn good drive and she NEEDED to see it!

Gyuss Baaltar said...

Heather,

No need for an operation.

You are a bringer-of-beer. That makes you the holiest of holies in our world.

mist1 said...

When I read "Home Wrecker!" I thought this post was about me.

Sigh.

heather said...

oh goody! i knew that shooter girl/bouncer job would pay off someday. :-) i was kinda worried about the whole sex change thing. wasn't sure how i'd 'handle' peeing standing up. i mean, that's just not right. lol
oh and just remember... heather + alcohol = flirt = not a damn thing.

Q said...

Heather, here is an equation that Dagromm, Gyuss and especially CyberD learned long ago

Q + Alcohol = Putting Out

So you don't have to worry they would be otherwise occupied.

P.S. I wanted to mix in the phrase "running a train" but I just didn't have the heart.

heather said...

lol, thank's for sacrificing yourself, again.

fringes said...

I'm not sure where this is going, but you've got my attention.

S.

Churlita said...

At first I was worried that the Miller Time girl was going to be the home wrecker, but now I'm thinking it's Q. Can we find out tomorrow?

cyberman said...

Q, what's that supposed to mean?