Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Summer Plans

Summertime is nigh upon us and you know what that means. It's time for me to shed a few pounds of winter weight and get the body ready to put on display at the local swimming pool (disclaimer: by swimming pool I mean any place where I have an excuse to take my shirt off). Those who know me will tell you that I don't go in for fad diets or fad anything really. I'm to level headed for that. Sure I've got 20 inch rims on my car and wear my flossed out grill when I'm not at work. I've been known to sag my pants to my knees while wearing my over sized Lakers jersey and carry my Snoop Dogg approved pimp cup. Those things are classic though.

So when it comes to trimming down I don't jump on board with fad things like the Atkins diet or South Beach diet. I don't sign up for Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. I'm not a follower. I'm an innovator. I realize there might be others out there that also need to drop a few pounds quickly, so I'm sharing my Super Secret Massively Effective Diet and exercise plan with you. For the next two weeks and further if needed I will only consume things on the SSMED's Approved Food List.

SSMED's Approved List
Formula 50 Vitamin Water
Sweet Tarts
Flintstones Complete Multi-Vitamins
Enzyte
Red Bull

In addition to this rigid diet I will maintain a strict exercise schedule. The schedule is listed below.

Monday, Wednesday, Friday--30 Minutes--Rock My Hips
Tuesday, Thursday--30 Minutes--Shake My Skittles
Saturday--60 Minutes--Pop, Lock, and Drop It
Sundays are a rest day to let my body recover.

19 comments:

Gyuss Baaltar said...

I've maintained my forearm workouts over the winter. I'm rockin like Popeye!

at least on my right arm

Dagromm said...

Gyuss - Have you seen Lady in the Water? There is a visual in there that matches this pretty well.

Q said...

Gyuss, try switch hitting. Aside from the unusual sensation it will work both forearms equally.

Dagromm, That shit right there the shizzle.
Make sure you mix in 32 flavors of that bootylious bubblegum
Raspberry, grape and cherry.
And then add at least one honey bun

Dagromm said...

Q - I'm doing my M Fing dance right now.

cyber D said...

Is Fruit Stripe Gum not on the approved list?

Q said...

Tell me if I throw it at you Dagromm
Can you handle it?

Dagromm said...

Cyber - What?

Q - Nice.

Tera said...

Ha!! Dagromm, you never cease to amaze me! That sh** is funny!!! LMAO @ Q

I like Saturdays the best though...I can always pop lock it, but I'm still trying to drop it more than twice!

Nina said...

You've left out the cork pull...or maybe you're just not a wine drinker :)

Q said...

I always have a hard time not dropping it. I am kind of clumsy.

Dagromm said...

Tera - Thanks. I don't play when it comes to fitness.

Nina - Not a wine drinker, just a whiner.

Q - "kind of clumsy"? That's soft selling it.

Churlita said...

I got the flu and lost 7 lbs in three days. You could try that too. It's almost as good as swallowing a tape worm.

Dagromm said...

Man the flu is great for losing weight. I had a great idea to bottle it and sell it as a wight loss supplement, but it got held up by the FDA. Damn red tape.

fringes said...

I want to comment, but am afraid to be called out.

Carry on...

cyber D said...

Ouch!

Dagromm said...

fringes - I only call out complimentary posts on CyberD's blog as obviously being cursory. It's a completely different story on my own blog.

CyberD - I appreciate you following this and making comments like, "Ouch!" and, "Ooooh snap!". Carry on.

cyber D said...

You got it, Chief!

heather said...

can i switch out the flinstones for scooby fizzy vites?

Dagromm said...

heather - Each person's body has its' own distinctive bio-rythms. It's vitally important to listen to your own bio-rythms and cater to your body's needs. If your body says Scooby Doo then by all means make the change. Although, I can't vouch for the results.

In your case I might also alter the inclusion of Enzyte as it is a "natural male enhancement" product.