Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The True and Unflinching Account of the Bloggity Weekend that was Shared By the Blog Foursome Known as the Quad

Part 1 - The Quad Frisbee Golf Celebrity Pro Am

The festivities really got rolling on June 14th, 2007 with the Quad Frisbee Golf Celebrity Pro Am. Gyuss was nonplussed to find that he had received Stephen Hawking as his partner. As awkward as this might have been on its' own it was made more so by the fact that Gyuss had very publicly vetoed Stephen's application for membership within the Quad. Most of us avoided talking to Gyuss in front of Stephen. We would instead walk behind him.

Q was pleased as punch to find that he had been assigned Ernest Borgnine. For the entirety of the tournament if anyone wandered to close to this pairing they would over hear Q boisterously saying to Ern, "So Airwolf was awesome, right? Is it parked around here?? (Looking around hopefully) We should take it to the mall later, I bet that'd get lots of chicks!" It was kind of sad, for Ernest Borgnine.

Cyber D had been partnered with The Rock. This was pretty uncomfortable for all of us. Well except for Cyber D who greeted him enthusiastically with, "Hi Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson! The Quad welcomes you. Well, not into the Quad, but you get to hang with us for the day. I am Cyber D, one of the founding members of the Quad. It's pretty awesome you know, being in the Quad. You should maybe start your own group. You could call it 'The Almost Good Enough to Make Its'. Ha ha ha". The rest of us moved away from this quickly.
I came to the event excited because I knew that I was slated to play with Michael Bivins of New Edition and Bell Biv Devoe fame. I was eager to tell him how his music had changed my life and that the lyrics to "Poison" were what I lived my life by. You can imagine my disappointment when I arrived to find some hack in glasses standing there instead. Below is a small segment of the conversation that followed.

Dags: So, where's Biv? Is he running late or something?

The Hack: No, he couldn't make it. I'm his replacement.

Dags: Who are you?

The Hack: Maybe this will help. (Puts right hand to ear) Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?

Dags: I heard you the first time. Who the F are you?

The Hack: I'm the Verizon guy. I'll give you an autograph after the tournament ok?

Dags: Oh. You see, I just thought this was supposed to be a celebrity event.

The Hack: I am a celebrity. People around the world know me and love me. In Mexico they call me El Lobo de Verizon! In Japan, school girls line up around the block to get a chance to see me.

Dags: Yeah. Ok. Whatever.

The Hack: I'm the second biggest spokesman in the world. There's the Marlboro Man and then there's me, and my product hasn't even been definitively linked to cancer.

Dags: I'd say Tiger Woods is a bigger spokesman than you.

The Hack: Tiger Woods??!???? He's not a spokesman!! When have you ever heard him talk about Nike??? He's just in the commercials. I don't even thinks he knows he's there making a commercial. I wouldn't trade places with him for anything.
The rest of the tournament was the Verizon guy trying to justify his presence there. It was the longest day of my life, even though we were dominating the scoreboard. Luckily the tournament ended early when Cyber D was injured with 3 holes left to play. None of us know exactly what happened as The Rock did not stick around long enough to give anyone an explanation and Cyber D didn't want to talk about it.

20 comments:

Tera said...

Dagromm, I think I love you for loving that song!

"Cyber D was injured with 3 holes left to play..." I believe this statement has some very negative (depending on the reader) connotative meaning to it...

LIT said...

I would count the Geico gecko ahead of both the Marlboro Man & Mr. Can You Hear Me Now?. . .that is if you're really counting.

LIT said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gyuss Baaltar said...

I was wondering why Cyber headed out so quickly. He was complaining about "sores" on his delicate parts.

Susan said...

I, oddly, also live my life by that song. I can only imagine the grief you must have felt when you discovered the "cheap man's jarod"(subway) "can you hear me now" (aka verizon man) was your partner.

Dagromm said...

Tera - I love that song more than you'll ever know. I've been pondering writing the post "Everything I need to Know I Learned From Bell Biv Devoe" for a while now.

Lit - You're wrong, according to the Verizon guy.

comment deleted - I know what you mean.

Gyuss - Now the truth is known.

Susan - It was like rushing from your bedroom to open your Christmas presents to find that it was February 17th. I later cried.

Q said...

That was the greatest Pro-Am ever. EVER...

Cyber D said...

Dude, that was a sports related injury! I know what you're getting at and The Rock and I are totally just friends! Friends with benefits, YES. But just friends!

Dagromm said...

Q - Ernie Borgnine might say differently.

Cyber D - We have a strict don't ask and please please please don't tell policy in the Quad.

Goo said...

Where do the Maytag Repairman and Morris the Cat fit into the lineup of "beloved" spokesentities?

So sad you couldn't get Spuds McKenzie to play with you. Now THAT would have been awesome.

fringes said...

Are you writing about a more recent Quad Weekend or are you really just now getting around to writing about the one from 6,000 weekends ago? Good thing you're not a newspaper reporter. Dateline: Pearl Harbor.

Q said...

Ooooooooh burn!

Cyber D said...

Double burn!

Dagromm said...

Goo - That would have been cool except that I wouldn't want to have to clean up after Spuds. Verizon guy was bad enough.

Fringes - Bite me.

Q - Doouble bite me.

Cyber D - Triple bite me.

EsLocura said...

fringes said what I wanted to say, damn it. I was late in reading but obviously not as late as you were in posting.

Churlita said...

With lyrics like, "Never trust a big butt and a smile. That girls is poison..." you should live your life by them.

heather said...

uhmmm, dags? i haven't finished reading your post yet but i have to ask you something. first let me thank you for linking to me on your sidebar. second, why aren't cyber and gyuss linked on your sidebar? was it intentional or a freudean slip?

heather said...

bud-wies-er, ribbitt was funny but i think the pilsbury doughboy for the states and the golden arches globaly

Dagromm said...

Eslocura - See my comment to Fringes.

Churlita - That's the song that is going to be playing at my wake one day.

Heather - Blogworth wars are a bitch.

heather said...

oh good grief! lol i had forgotton all about that. :-)