Tera-rize Me
The current meme that's running rampant like VD in the Playboy Mansion has come back to haunt me again. This time I've been tied to the chair by Tera who has put the hot lamp in my face and put her cigarette butts out on the back of my hand until I came back with answers.
1. What is the one lesson that you've learned in life that has the biggest impact on you?
That the most valuable thing you will ever have is your time. This is one of those things that occured to me as I sit/stood bored to death in some menial minimum wage job when I was younger. I realized that I was basically selling my life away for $4.50 an hour. I look at everything I do now as a trade off of the limited amount of time I have on Earth and ask myself if it's worth it to me.
2. Write your epitaph.
Living easy, living free
Season ticket on a one-way ride
Asking nothing, leave me be
Taking everything in my stride
Don't need reason, don't need rhyme
Ain't nothing I would rather do
Going down, party time
My friends are gonna be there too
I'm on the highway to hell
3. In your estimation, what is the ideal vacation?
This is a great question and I'll tell you what I've been planning for a few years now. I feel that I've been too reclusive lately. My ideal vacation would be to get out of the House for a while and tour the world to see how Dagromm Day is celebrated by all the people's of the world. Can you imagine what a treat it would be for all the common folk around to get to see the REAL Dagromm on D-Day? I think it would be pretty special for everyone. From the noble houses of Puerto Rico to the shanties of.....well, probably Puerto Rico.
4. Your children ask you about the "birds and the bees," what do you tell them?
I tell them that we pay taxes so that teachers can answer those questions. Do I look like a trained educational professional?!???? What the hell are you learning in school anyway? Where's your homework? Let me see it!!! Clean your room!
5. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Since I can't decide on anything, I suppose I would make myself more decisive. No wait, maybe not. I'm not sure.
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15 comments:
Highway to Hell..classic.
Oh the things I've seen you do for $4.50 an hour.
How can you answer 10 interview questions without once mentioning Big Dirty?
Delurking from Google Reader today to say #4 made me laugh;>
Susan - I don't expect to be buried, so I'll probably just have it played at my wake.
Gyuss - Was I conscious?
Fringes - I was speaking to Big Dirty just the other day as a matter of fact...
Woo!!!! - Good to hear from you. I'm a frequent lurker as well. I'm just glad to know that you're still around.
Very clever My Sweet...you are a riot!
And for the record I don't smoke...you shouldn't fib so!
Tera - I didn't say you smoked the cigarrettes. It was just part of the interrogation.
#2 is mine, i'm older and female. i get to choose first.
i'm with you on #4. i have to take cheeks for some training bras this weekend. she's six for god's sake! but like me, she's heavy. ~and~ she asked me about pads the other day. she saw some at my mom's last week and wanted to know if nan-nan had surgery again.
i need a drink.
Can I hire you to talk to my daughters about the birds and the bees? They really need to clean their rooms.
Heather - I guess we're in a race then for the rights to the epitaph. Good luck to you!
Churlita - I can be hired for just about anything, but please be aware of my answer to #1.
Re #4: Many years ago I bought a wonderful book called WHERE BABIES COME FROM with numerous artist's illustrations of male and female anatomy explaining everything for my daughter now known as Plug who was approaching the teen years. I told her to ask about anything that puzzled her, but I don't recall any questions.
About a year later my younger daughter, Goo, had her first slumber party. She was in first grade. I awoke in the wee hours of the morning, overhead light blazing, to find Goo seated on the foot of the bed, her friends in a semi-circle on the floor gazing up intently, as she read WHERE BABIES COME FROM in the manner primary teachers read to their students.
Suggestion: IF your kids ever ask that question (Chances are, they already know.), call Goo.
Or call me. I have the book.
Plug- Did I ever see that book? come to think, I don't really recall any real birds/bees conversations. Or is my memory just skipping that part of my childhood?
Oyster piped up last week with detailed instructions regarding how to make babies. She used the proper anatomical terms and even pronounced them correctly. She says her friend, Megan, told her all about it during recess in kindergarten last year.
oh crap!!! i'm way behind if oyster already found out about it in kindergarden. thanks for the book suggestion lit. i'll check the library in the city for it monday. in the meantime i'm gonna let cheeks know that next sunday is a girls day out. haircut, training bras, socks and sex talk. yep, sounds like a girls day to me.
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