The Gift Bag for All Eternity
It has come to my attention recently that my life will eventually have a stopping point. I have my hopes that it will end with a really climactic scene. Maybe, I'll run the train off the tracks as I try to out run the law. I don't know. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this whole mortality thing. So, it occurs to me that I will have to make some arrangements for my remains after I am gone. I recently watched Conan the Barbarian again and think that I would like a funeral similar to what Conan gives to Valeria. Please when I go make sure that my soul is sent to Valhalla by means of a funeral pyre while you all curse Crom for letting this happen to such a swell guy.
I've also been thinking about who all will come to my final send off. Of course, I can't be sure of a final count, but I want you in the blog community to know that you are all invited. I'd like it to be a potluck affair, so if you'd all like to leave what you're bringing in the comments section that would help tremendously.
Lastly, I think that I should put together a Dagromm Memorial Gift Bag for everyone in attendance. I've just started to go over what will be included, but I thought I'd give you some of my preliminary thoughts.
1. A signed thank you letter for attending my funeral. I've never been good aboutdoing thank you notes, but it's how you finish not how you begin so as long as I get this right then I think it'll go in the plus column when resolving my afterlife status.
2. A toothbrush, trial size tooth paste and dental floss. I currently work for a dental care provider, so this should be pretty easy to score, and you the recipients of the gift bags get to be the lucky beneficiaries!!!
3. A CD (or equivilant futuristic media) with burned copies of my favorite songs.
4. Chinese finger cuffs.
5. Miscellaneous candy.
6. A tasteful nude photo of myself. Framed for display on any mantle.
7. Commemorative stationary with my photo (looking very peaceful and contemplative).
8. A random baseball card from the 1990 Topps set or basketball card from the 1991 Fleer set. Good luck!!
9. A puzzle piece that when joined with the other pieces from the other gift bag makes a photo of me on one side and forms a secret message on the back. Don't ask. I'm not telling.
Atom Feed (xml)
17 comments:
I'll bring pie. What kind of pie, you ask? I cannot tell you until I know the super secret message on the back of the puzzle pieces.
Susan - It almost makes it so that you can't wait for my death. I'm getting amped up just thinking about it.
I know I can't wait. I have been planning that day for many, many years.
I'm bringing meatball subs...
Put me down for Angel Food Cake since I will probably be in Valhalla ahead of you, and that may be my only choice. Don't even mention Devil's Food Cake though that would probably be your choice.
Q - Thank you and thank you again for your contribution to the potluck. I think someone else was planning spaghetti and meatballs, but I think that I can persuade them to some sort of alfredo sauce instead.
Lit - Consider it not mentioned.
Fritos.
I'll only come to your funeral if you come to mine.
I'll bring chocolate cake ;-) and I will blog for you posthumously all the while bearing in mind WWDD.
BTW...good thing you posted something...I was beginning to think you had already kicked the bucket!
How about I bring some wings? If it's football season, can we sit around and watch a game....You know that's the only way you'll get Fringes there anyway.
Chillax - Thanks that'll go great with the subs.
Tera - I love chocolate cake and of course I'll come to yours. Just be sure to let me know the date!
Tera - Sorry about the delay. I'm also sorry for all the lost blogging opportunities.
Churlita - Are they homemade wings or bought wings? Please no grocery store wings. I hate to be picky, but it is my memorial afterall. I can guarantee that I will not die during the football season, unless your talking about arena football season in which case I will probably be asking for death's sweet embrace.
i'll bring beer, broccoli salad and bleu cheese to go with the wings.
keep in mind, i have sensitive teeth and would prefer mint flavored sensodyne in my gift bag. and a green handled toothbrush. i ~always~ have a green handled toothbrush.
Heather - Thanks for the being so thoughtful in this trying time. Although I don't know what a broccoli salad is, it sounds delightful.
4-5 cups broccoli flowerettes cut into bite size pieces
1/2 red onion chopped
1/2 cup sharp yellow cheddar cheese grated
1/2 lb. bacon cooked and crumbled
1 cup mayo
2 tablespoons white vinegar
5 1/2 tablespoons sugar
mix the last 3 very well and toss the rest with the dressing. some people add raisins to it i don't. i do add sunflower seeds sometimes though and i've been know to add more bacon as well.
I've already got way more naked pictures of you than I need.
Heather - Anything with bacon, mayo and cheese sounds good to me. I concur with not using raisins.
Gyuss - There's no such thing as too much of a good thing. Heh heh. My pants.
Didn't know there's be such a thing as a tasteful nude photo of yourself. Thing is, you have that in the gift bag, you won't need to worry about having food at the funeral afterparty.
Everybody--LOL!!
Post a Comment