
Friday, April 27, 2007

Thursday, April 26, 2007

One of the reasons that Q and I get along so well is that we understand each other. I understand that he will always valet rather than walk from the parking lot at the horse track, and he understands that I will always be enraptured by the tic-tac-toe playing chicken that is on display in the front of Louisiana Downs.
If you beat her you win $10. I've never seen anyone beat that chicken. She takes her time and strategizes. She's good. Still people will lineup and wait for 45 minutes just for the chance to win $10. I've never played her. I would, but I hate standing in lines. There is almost nothing in the world that I will wait in line more than five minutes for.
I tried to explain, in very basic terms, wagering on horse racing to my daughter the other day (because I'm a good parent). She asked how much you get if the horse you pick wins the race. "Well it all depends," I told her. "If you bet on the horse that appears to be the best and everyone expects to win then you might bet $2 and win $3.20." "Then what's the point?" she asked. This is pretty much the same philosophy that Q and I have when placing wagers.
We almost never make a win, place, or show bet. It isn't worth placing the bet if you can't win significantly more then you wager. We wager exotics. Exactas, Trifectas, and Superfectas. That way you can turn your two dollar wager into big money. Of course, this isn't the end result most times but I would still say that Q and I are pretty good. We've both hit some decent pay days and are normally very close.
This is not a picture of my mom.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
I used to work for a car rental company a few years back that prided itself in picking up their customers from home, or work, or the car repair facility. While still early in my career there I was sent out to pick up a regular customer from their house. When I arrived at the large new home two men came out to the vehicle. One of them was a burly looking guy dressed in a collared shirt and slacks. The other was in a track suit that was open a little too far, sneakers, and had several gold chains around his neck. He had dark slicked back hair. It was almost comical.The big guy sat up front with me as we headed back to the office, while the other sat in back. As I normally do in situations like this I got some conversation going.
Me - So do you have any big plans for the day?
The man in the track suit - We're going to the horse track.
Me - Oh, cool. Have you been to the new track very much? I've been wanting to go, but hadn't made it out yet.
The man in track suit - We go on a regular basis. That's what I do for a living.
Me - Oh yeah? You must do pretty well. What's the most you've ever won on a race?
The man in the track suit - A hundred thousand.
Me - Damn. You must have a good system then. I've been reading a book about handicapping and Beyer numbers. Do you have any tips for what to look for?
The man in the track suit - Not really. I just know people. Jockeys, trainers, their families.
Me - Oh.
He went on to tell me that they tell him things and that's how he places his bets. He didn't say why they tell him things or how he knew them. We went on to the office and he rented the car from the manager in the most bizarre fashion that I had seen. He got a luxury car and didn't leave a credit card as a deposit (which is required), didn't show a drivers license (which is required), and didn't sign his own paperwork (which is required). What he did do is leave a thousand dollar cash deposit which he pulled from a wad that must have been twenty grand from his front pocket. He also had the burly guy give me business card in case I ever wanted to contact him or place a wager and couldn't get to the track. They also did football games, basketball, etc. The card had a phone number on it, but the name on it was not his. It looked more like a nickname.
The manager who had made sure the paperwork was ready when I got to the office said not to worry about the rental being out of the norm. He was a repeat customer and always paid his bills. He also said that I would be insane if I kept that card and ever placed a bet with the man in the track suit.
The manager came back to me a few minutes later to make sure that I threw the card away and reiterate that it would be a very bad idea to ever call that guy.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
There are times in a person's life when karma is with you. The foggy ether of the universe parts and certain fundamental truths become obvious and every move you make can't help but succeed. Winning becomes easy. The right path and correct decisions shine with a clarity and allure that draws you to them. I believe that these times happen for everyone within their lifetime. The truly outstanding people either a) have more of these moments then others or b) make better use of these moments than others.There are other times where karma is against you. I don't know that it's because you did anything wrong so much as it's your turn. The great cosmic tumblers of life have turned and clicked into place and you get stuck between them. Nothing you do is going to work out and it becomes like quicksand where the harder you struggle to make the cosmic tumblers shift the harder they lock down. These are bad times to be in a casino.
One of the games that Q and I like to play in the casino is craps. The odds are the same every throw of the dice. If you know the odds or even have a round-about knowledge of the odds then it's possible to win...almost as much as you lose. Statistically.
A few years back Q and I were hitting the craps table at the Hollywood Casino. It was a weird night and this was the only table with any availability and people weren't leaving the others. That probably should have been warning enough. We had time to kill though as the Texas Hold'em tables were also full and we were on a long list. The table had about five other players when we arrived plus the three workers assigned to the table. Two of the players were non descript elderlies. They were on our left. Relatively quiet and ultimately forgettable. One of the players was a hip hop man complete with a shiny fake precious metal chain with a huge medallion on it. He was on our right. He wanted to come off as a high roller, but being at the smallest minimum limit table doesn't help your cred in that department. Me and Q liked him. He was gangsta like us. The last two players were on the far end of the table from us. They were a couple affectionately called Chipmunk and Honey Butt. I don't know what they called each other, but this is what I called them. They were extremely perky, over excited, over loud, and had cutesy names and phrases for everything!!! We hated them instantly.
People like this are a karma curse. In the deepest recesses of my heart I knew this, but it was too late the gears of fate had locked in place and we were wedged between them. We were going to see these people lose. We were going to win and laud our triumph over them. The couple oblivious to our karmic challenge continued yelling and screaming and cheering. "Come on shooter!! Come on shooter!! You're going to do it shooter!! Yaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!!"
Our first few bets came and went with the normal ups and downs. Chipmunk and Honey Butt were obviously doing well and letting the entire casino know it. We pressed on. We were not going to let this continue!!! and clink another gear locked into place even tighter. "Way to go shooter!! You can do it shooter!! Four square!!! Quad Four!!! Yaayyyyyyy!!!! Good job shooter!!!". Thanks a-hole, but I was betting on the "no pass line". That just f'd me.
Every dice roll was a celebration. Every number had a pet name. Every moment was cheering and hugging and smooching. Everyone hated them. The other players. The other tables. The casino workers. Everyone. They were however in their own world and in that world everything was rainbows. It was the perfect storm. After an hour of miserably seeing the writing on the wall and still trying to come out on top. I finally was ready to give in and leave. Before we left though we got to see them hit their number for what seemed like the millionth time. And we waited for it. It was coming. The phrase we'd heard them yell every time they'd seen a ten for the last hour. Our eyes were squinting as we tried hard to some how find muscles to close our ears, but it wasn't possible. "HOME WRECKER!!!!!" they yelled with unbridled enthusiasm.
We left knowing that we had just asses handed to us by the Moby Dick of karma. Kudos to you Chipmunk and Honey Butt.
Monday, April 23, 2007

Friday, April 20, 2007

Quick soccer update for our millions of fans around the world. We won our game last Saturday and my 1st grade girls now have a winning record for the first time ever. We are 4-3 with three games left in the season. Something has clicked for them this last game or so. They are finally passing the ball, spreading the field better, and getting after the girls on the other team. It's great to watch the girls out there. They are now going into games with the expectation that they are going to win which is a far cry from where they were at this point last season. That's the main thing that I wanted for these girls. Besides becoming good soccer players I wanted them to learn to compete, feel like winners, and have fun.
That being said I am bracing myself for the collapse or at least big stumble. I don't want it to happen, but I'm trying not to let my expectations get away from me. Practice yesterday was a good example of what I'm worried about. Some of them were distracted the whole time looking for lady bugs. Others were talking noise and then getting upset when things weren't going their way. All of them had a large degree of whineyness to them. They were all bitching at each other at different points yesterday and I was trying not to lose my cool. At the end of practice I pulled them together and gave them a talking to about team work and how we need to support each other. I told them that we are friends on the team and do not complain or place blame. Then I took all of their collected ladybugs crushed them under my foot and told them that if we lost on Saturday it would be because of they were jacking around at practice.
Thursday, April 19, 2007

I've never really had a nickname. I don't know why. Nothing ever stuck I guess. I have on the other hand doled out my share of nicknames to other people. My friends Q and DLDC can attest to that. Not to mention Big Dirty, Cake, Miracle Whip, Lil' Magnum, and my daughter T-Bibby although more recently it's been changed to just Bibby. I've also got several names for people that walk around my office. I don't use them publicly but they scroll through my head every time I see them. There's Forehead, Boob Job, Buttons, Greasy, Teeth, Sashay, Bug Eyes, and E.D. (Eating Disorder not to be confused with Erectile Dysfunction whom I just call Dysfunction).
As my buddy Dutch can attest to, you can't just give yourself a nickname. It won't stick. Which is why even though I answered my phone for a solid year as Big Texas, almost no one would call me that. When Q tried to steal the name I was willing to change to Tejas Grande in tribute to my Spanish heritage, but that didn't work out any better.
So I guess I'll always be called Dagromm. My dreams of one day having a cool handle, y'know like "the Fonze", are faded.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
Now I know there are some people that disapprove of Macaroni and Cheese out of a box. They say that homemade macaroni is much better. Those people are devil worshippers and I pray you don't let your soul be taken by them and their demon food. I come from the Christian religion where we believe that God gave us processed cheese powder because he loves us and to keep us righteous. If you really want to feel blessed then I suggest the Thick N' Creamy version, because it comes with considerably more of the Lord's cheese powder.


Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Personalized License Plates - There is nothing in the world that screams out to me, "I'm an ass" more than a personalized plate. This is a trend however that appears on the rise. In the last 48 hours I've seen a black F-250 with a lift kit, illegally dark tinted windows, and a license plate that says ABYSS; a green Ford Mustang with a plate that says VROOOM; a black and silver Jaguar with plate that says JUSTICE surrounded by a silver hellfire shaped frame. This is not to mention the Firebird that asks WNARACE, the Corvette with the plate reading CHACHNG, and the Nissan with the plate letting you know that this is MY Z.
Drive Thru Non-Service - Another trend that is getting worse is the drive thru attendant that after he takes your money asks you to pull up by the door and wait for your food. WTF? Some times there are two or three cars pulled in front waiting for someone to bring them out their bags of food. This has gotten so bad that I've been asked to pull up even when there isn't anybody else in line at all. It doesn't make my wait any shorter. If anything it lengthens my wait time. Also when my order turns out to be wrong it means that I have to get out of my car and walk back inside rather than getting it fixed at the window. I'd try to make a stand about this, but I don't want anything to happen to my food.
People That Don't Understand the Four Way Stop Sign - I don't think that the rules of "right of way" have changed in the two thousand plus years that stop signs have been around, but people still seem to have a problem with this on a regular basis. There are still plenty of people that appear to have a problem flushing the toilet as well so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
Just some scattershooting and a quick Tuesday rant. Thanks for listening.
Monday, April 16, 2007
I recently have had two separate resumes from ladies claiming to have worked as models. One of which made mention that she was going to be featured in a soon to be released video and movie. Well that would peak anybodies curiosity. So I checked the .com website she had listed as her employer and low and behold it's a website for transsexual models. It was very graphic and extraordinarily frightening. After filling out the information for a free 30 day subscription, I decided this was not an interview that I was going to pursue.
The second model that I recently received was one of a much more mundane level. She apparently works as a Coors Light spokes model, which as she explains means that she goes to promotional events and "spokes to customers". Other job responsibilities include "taking pictures with customers" and "analyzing accounts". Besides the grammatical errors and typos I couldn't find any reason not to interview this one. Sure she doesn't have the law degree that we usually like our legal counsel to possess, but she makes up for it in chutzpah. Anyway the interview will be later this week.

Friday, April 13, 2007
For those who don't know (which is most everybody) my wife had surgery on Tuesday and returned from the hospital on Wednesday. She'll be at home until next Friday when she has a return visit to the doctor. Without going into detail, because the wife wouldn't want me to, the surgery was neither life threatening nor cosmetic. So you can sleep comfortably knowing that she wasn't in any danger and she will still be recognizable. Please don't be offended that you didn't know. She didn't want a lot of people knowing and in fact kept a lot of the details quiet from everyone including me. I'm sure she'd like a card or flowers, might like a call, but probably would prefer not to have any visits as she still has some tubes and things going on for the next week. Also, if you do speak with her please don't let her know that you were informed by blog. Please say that I informed you by e-mail. I would have let everyone know earlier, but she is sensitive about these things and I've been swamped trying to take care of the kids and with assisting her. She doesn't like that I have to help her right now, but it shouldn't be much longer as she's feeling better everyday.
On a side note, our girls had their first game last night after a long 2+ week lay off. We were short handed missing two of our main defenders and had a couple of girls playing sick. Still we won and pulled our record even again at 3-3. We were in control enough that I called the dogs off in the last quarter of play and told our best player to hold off. She was pretty much scoring at will last night. My daughter played well and made some good passes that led to scores. Her soccer IQ is definately growing as she also made some passes that were good passes, but didn't go as planned, because the other girls didn't understand that they were supposed to make runs to certain areas of the field. She's picked up a couple of other ticks with her game that we need to work out so that she can get back to scoring again. Our throw-ins are now a strength of our team and corner kicks are getting better.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Hello Bloggers!!!! Welcome back to the world's most trusted movie review site. Today I will be reviewing the highly anticipated Rocky Balboa. This is the latest in the fantasy world of Rocky where in any sub par white boxer from Philly is bad ass enough to conquer the world of sports. This movie continues the tradition of showing us exactly what a pit Philadelphia is and how beneficial steroids can be for the human body. It also continues the trend of less and les impressive looking fighters that Rocky has gone up against. The list in order follows:
Apollo CreedJust feast your eyes on this spectacle. Bad ass.
Clubber Lang
Ivan Drago
Tommy Gunn
Is this a joke?

Mason Dixon
Look at this guy!! Who'd want to fight this guy? He's too nice!
It's amazing that as they tried to incorporate real world boxing more and more into the movies they became less and less impressive. The names of the boxers also got worse and yet the technique of the boxers stayed terrible. The movie is still a sentimental watch so I have to give this movie an A-.
Monday, April 09, 2007
The Dallas Cup and being sick has taken up quite a bit of my time over the past few days. The tournament ended last night with Chelsea facing Sao Paulo. After watching the first round games I think these are the two that I would have guessed would make it to the final. Chelsea had a very talented team with a strong defense that made very few mistakes during the entire tournament. Sau Paulo was what most expected from a top Brazilian squad, creative, exciting, and tan. In the end Sau Paulo could not be denied and won last night's final 1-0 in the closing minutes of the game.I'd like to thank Q for coming out to the games with me and my daughter, and for buying me that kick ass Mexican national team soccer T-shirt. I'd also like to reprimand Q for arguing with my 7 year old daughter for twenty plus minutes about whether Chester Cheetah is real and whether that was indeed him walking on the field at half time. Finally, I'd like to apologize to Q for straddling the chair next to him and doing pelvic thrusts in the direction of his head when the Irish scored their lone goal against the Brazilians. I see that was wrong now, and probably not a good example for the children sitting around us.
Friday, April 06, 2007

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Monday, April 02, 2007
Thanks to Gyuss for letting me know how much my blog value is. Unfortunately for me it is the most valuable thing I own.

My blog is worth $5,080.86.
How much is your blog worth?
My daughter and I went out yesterday with Q to watch the Opening day of Dallas Cup action. We got there shortly before noon and left a little after 9:00 that evening. For those that don't know, the Dallas Cup is a youth invitational soccer tournament that brings in some top teams from around the world. I like to watch the U-19 teams from the Super Group division as many of these players are a hair away from being on the professional squads of their individual clubs. In addition, I think that the tickets are very reasonable and in fact many of the games are free to watch. Yesterday, we started off the day watching Southampton (England) handle Deportivo Saprissa (Costa Rica) 3-1. The Southampton squad had a couple impressive players in the midfield and backline that I am interested in watching as they continue in the tournament. The next game we watched was Sao Paulo (Brazil) against Tigres (Mexico). The Tigres got a good start in this one and took an early 1-0 lead in the first half. I remember commenting to Q that Sao Paulo didn't look overly concerned or really even that interested in the entire first half and first part of the second half. They had some shots, but did not overwhelm by any means. Around midway through the second half Sao Paulo turned it on. They tied up the game and then
scored the go ahead goal with a few minutes remaning. This game had the largest crowd for any game I've seen there that wasn't in the Professional Stadium.
After that we moved into the Stadium and watched the end of Real Madrid (Spain) against Solar F.C. (local team). Real clearly outclassed their opponent and won the game 4-0, with a lot of their starters taking it easy by the end of the game.
Lastly, after suffering through the opening ceremonies we watched Chelsea (England) play Chivas (Mexico). Q was accosted before the game by a group of Chelsea supporters who took issue with his t-shirt marking him as a supporter of the Mexican teams. The Chelsea fan group though was woefully outmatched by their Chivas counterparts, both in number and sheer manic fanaticism. The Chivas supporters beat drums, sang songs, danced, threw confetti, unfurled MAMMOTH flags and banners, and set off smoke flares the entire game. It was impressive. Unforunately for them, Chelsea won the game 2-1. It was a tightly contested match and truthfully probably should have been a tie as Chelsea had a hand ball in their own box in the closing minutes that the referree didn't acknowledge.
It's funny that in a country that doesn't really support soccer that these teams still have groupies show up. All in all, it was a good day. The weather was great and I got lots of sun. In fact I think my skin is all dead now. Thanks CFC's.


