This is pretty much the same image my coworkers see as I walk out the door everyday.

I think Tupac and I share a lot of similarities actually. With the exception of the dew rag, tattoos, expensive jewelry, and bullet wounds we could almost be twins. I'm pretty sure that Pac was a Democrat. He loved his mama like a good boy. He kept it real and was a member of the Digital Underground. In fact I think if you held my resume and his up side by side they would probably look like carbon copies of each other. I'm pretty sure that I remember reading somewhere that if he hadn't gotten into gangsta rapping and the Thug line of work that he probably would have gotten into HR. That's about the same thing that happened to me. It just turned out my liberal arts degree is more valuable in the field of Human Resources than in the realm of Hip Hop. These are the things they don't warn you to ask at college preview weekends.

OOOOOooooooowwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!

My daughter is sitting 12 feet away from me playing her drumset to the tune of Queen's Greatest Hits. She's been doing this now for 30 minutes. I think I'm developing an aneurism develop now. I swear my eyeballs are bleeding and every muscle in my neck and shoulders is in knots. After every song she turns to me and asks how that sounded. "It sounds really good, honey. You're getting better" Now, I know why people lose their hearing as they get older. It's a defense mechanism.

Another Change

Do you guys like this template any better? Q was complaining about the last one.

Slightly Disturbing

I only said slightly to make Gyuss feel better, but when I did a yahoo search trying to find his blog some curious information came up. Check it out:


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1 - 4 of about 5 for cave devil hermit Gyuss - 0.92 sec. (About this page)
WEB RESULTS
2006 Weblog Awards - Blog Of The Day Awards - Top Blog Awards: July 2006 - Best Blog - Top Blogs - Best Blog Awards...
... Blog of the Day Award goes to Gyuss Baaltar for his wierd guy on the ... thusly: Cave of Gyuss Baaltar: hermit, luddite, man's man, handsome devil, gnome ...blogofthedayawards.blogspot.com/2006_07_01_archive.html - 96k - Cached - More from this site
drilldo globalspec pump sex fucking machine machines forums board forum
drilldo sex machine forums machines board globalspec fucking forum ... Cave of Gyuss Baaltar: hermit, luddite, man's man, handsome devil. ...a95blog.org/drilldo - 26k - Cached - More from this site
Cave of Gyuss Baaltar: hermit, luddite, man's man, handsome devil, gnome without a cause.: Pick 'Em Part 1
Since I apparently cannot pick football games, I'm going with a new strategy ... Gyuss Baaltar. Too handsome to be a pirate, too talkative to be a ninja. ...gyussbaaltar.blogspot.com/2006/09/pick-em-part-1.html - More from this site
July_29
YouTube. Accountants. Acne Treatments. Adware Remover. Adware Spyware ... Air Humidifiers. Alarm System. Alarm Systems. Alaskan Cruises. Alpharetta Real Estate ...www.home-botanical-data.info/July_29 - More from this site
In order to show you the most relevant results, we have omitted some entries very similar to the ones already displayed.If you like, you can repeat the search with the omitted results included.


It's interesting that his site was number three after the Weblog Awards and Drilldo. You might want to be a little more discrete Gyuss?

I Took the Kids on the Way Back Machine

Every once in a while I get the urge to watch an old movie that I remember from my younger days and expose the kids to some retro culture. This weekend I rented Adventures in Babysitting. To make it even more retro I got it on VHS so that we could enjoy the poor picture quality that the original artists had intended. Anyway, the kids liked it a bunch and I was surprised how much the movie held up. I was afraid that the kids would be turned off early on because it would look dated, but they got caught up in it and couldn't be torn away. I guess some things just transcend time. Like Elizabeth Shue. She really rocked that 80's hair. Maybe more than any other person, and that's a feat. We miss you Elizabeth Shue!!! Come back from the future!!!!

A Shout Out To My Younger Readers Out There

As a parent of a young daughter I find that I become more and more concerned with what images are being portrayed to girls as to what an ideal girl is. I know this isn't groundbreaking stuff, but I guess as a male it was easy to turn a blind eye to until now. I worry that she feels that being blonde is prettier than having dark hair, that having straight hair is prettier than curly, and that having white skin is prettier than having brown skin. These are all things that she has intimated that the would prefer to have. As a father it worries me to no end. I think she is a beautiful girl and I worry that she won't value herself as much as she should. I look at things like Barbies and the celebutantes that are all the rage now and worry about how much they negatively impact her self image. Mattell has done a lot to include multicultural friends and give them their own character and style, but in the end Barbie is still the lead. If you asked my daughter which was her favorite of her dolls she will answer Barbie, even though there are others that look more like her. Those are her second favorite.

On top of that I worry about the glorification of the party girl right now. The celebutantes once again are partly to blame for this, as well as the music industry with songs and videos imploring girls to act like strippers, and various other commercials, shows, and movies. I know that the easy answer for people to say is to monitor what she watches, change the channel, etc., but that's not always an effective solution. Lots of times what was once safe isn't anymore. Mary Kate and Ashley, Lindsay Lohan, and others were once all seen as very safe child stars. They were marketed to kids until every kid knew who they were. They then succumbed to the lifestyle and pressure of big media until they become the last people you want your child to emulate. The message I'm afraid all of this is sending to young girls is, "you need to look pretty, shake your ass, and be ready to take your clothes off at the drop of a hat because that's all you're good for".

I guess I could go on and on about this, but I won't. In closing I just want to say to all of the House of Dagromm's younger readers out there is that you don't have to look like this to be a beautiful and wonderful person.

...but if you do, don't be afraid to shoot me a line.

The True and Factudinal History of the Bloggy Four

There have been some recent blog posts giving renditions of how myself, Gyuss, Cyber D, and Q became the pre-eminent force of nature that we've become. This is my attempt to clear any misinformation that may be floating around out there and give the world it's definitive answer.

It all began on a warm autumn day some fifteen years ago. I was an athletic, ambitious, smart freshman student in a small private college in north Texas. I would appear to have it all to most people, and I did, but I knew that my having it all wasn't enough. I knew that I needed to give back to the community. It was at this point that I decided to take an ignorant and unworldly west Texas freshman named Gyuss Baltaar under my wing. My interaction with Gyuss at that point had mainly been through my roommate at the time who was working with him as part of some religious mission. Gyuss was having trouble relating to the non-west Texas world around him. He wasn't well liked and in fact was struggling in many areas. Finally, Gyuss couldn't take it anymore and felt that he might need to end it all. I remember looking into that tear stained face of his and saying, "Don't you worry little bird. I'm going to help you. We're going to pull your head out of the sand and by God I swear one day you'll fly!" I saw the potential in young Gyuss. I knew that he could blossom if he was just given the right direction and had someone to believe in him. Thanks to community showers in the dorms I also knew that he was hung like no other man or beast. I mean, take your breath away, it gave me nightmares.
It seemed that much of Gyuss' stress revolved around his roommate CyberD. Now I had met CyberD a few times and we really hadn't spoken a lot, but I knew for my plan to work and for Gyuss to live I had to have him on my side. So I took it upon myself to seek out CyberD and ensnare him in a project that seemingly had no relation what so ever with Gyuss. I knew from my conversations with Gyuss that CyberD was a fan of a game that I happened to be an expert at. So CyberD and I made an appointment to meet in the school library one evening and discuss our mutual interest. By the end of the meeting, CyberD was so impressed with my skill and knowledge that he begged me to enter into a project with him and teach him. My plan was working. I told CyberD that I would allow him to work with me and be my apprentice, but that we would have to assemble a team and that Gyuss should be included. He reluctantly agreed and we embarked in a two year endeavor that would forever altar the lives of our team. During this time I came to learn a lot about CyberD and although we often were frustrated with each other, we always realized that in the end he needed me, almost as much as Gyuss. On top of that CyberD was a maestro with the ladies and Lord knows I love the ladies.

Years passed, we all graduated though CyberD tried to get us kicked out on an Environmental Economics project we worked on together. CyberD moved off to the other side of the world and Gyuss and I stayed behind to look after our little town. Gyuss became a regular at my house and in his time of need when he had to go to the hospital, I was there for him (CyberD was no where to be seen). Eventually my musky scent was too much for CyberD to live without and he moved back to our college town. At the same time Gyuss was about ready to spread his wings and finally leave the nest. It was with a heavy heart that I told Gyuss that "he was all growns up" and let him go.

Over the next couple of years I met a young whelp named Q. At first we met I was impressed with how savvy he was for such a young age and I told him that he would probably get a lot out of hanging out with my crew. He tried to set some things up a few times, but I don't allow anyone in too easily and I told Q to "go home and come back tomorrow". Eventually the Q had no recourse but to stalk me at my work and I realized that he was ready to be imparted with the lessons life had taught me. Q was an eager student and returned daily to learn more. He referred to me as "the professor" and I tried not to refer to him. I finally convinced CyberD that this apprentice of mine was ready to join our ranks as an equal (to CyberD). CyberD agreed and we began to work as a new team. Q came to depend on us and in his time of need when he had to go to the hospital, I was there for him (CyberD was no where to be seen).

Then in the last year CyberD told me that he had begun a blog and that I should check it out. I did and was so impressed that he could function without me that I quickly established my own blog and Q did the same. CyberD passed word on to Gyuss some time later and we were reconnected in the eyes of God and the general blog community.

After that it was merely a matter of time before we ruled with our army of nano-ninjas.

Trying to Keep it Sportsy

In an attempt to keep everyone up to date with the ever changing world of college athletics I have done an in depth research project on the recruiting classes of big time college football programs. You (the blogging world) might be stunned to find out that Florida International has apparently had some struggling recruiting and currently boasts the 113th best recruiting class. This could be fall-out from the trick play that they ran in their game with Miami this year (pictured). This places them two spots behind the University of North Texas which has no doubt been bolstered by the signing of Todd Dodge as their head coach. This just goes to show that the sports landscape can change on a dime in college athletics. For those who are interested the University of Texas is currently ranked number one. This has become somewhat of a tradition for the Longhorns. They will be rated number one untill signing day at which point they will have people pull their commitments and go to play elsewhere.

I Want To Apologize to My Loyal Readership

I'm trying to get back on the blog horse as I know that I've let a number of you down by not posting in several days. I will not make excuses, but I will explain what has been going on in that time that has kept me away. Unbeknownst to most I have been on a blog sabbatical to work tirelessly towards self improvement. Over the course of the last several days I have commenced an intense workout regimen to improve my physique and overall health. This includes a strict diet of boiled salmon, kale, and Megaman vitamins from GNC. I normally mix them together in a blender and drink them like a smoothy five times a day in place of traditional meals. Sometimes I just lay them on a plate seperately though if I feel the need to dine with family. My workout includes crunches while hanging upside down from my shower curtain rod and doing lunge thrusts around the neighborhood that I live in. This hasn't been just about getting in shape though. I have also used the last few days to improve my mind. To this end I have read the entire World Book encyclopedia collection that was at my local library. I now have a comprehensive fourth grade level knowledge of all things through 1997. In addition to this I worked to improve my soul. In my quest for enlightenment, I have spent every night for the last ten days meditating upon the universe in the winter air from the roof over my house. I blocked out all sensory distractions to dwell upon the meaning of being. The first eight days were fruitless, but on the ninth I ascended to a higher plane of existence. I also watched Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. I give it an A-. I thought unrated meant there would be nudity.
So I apologize loyal readers. I have not forsaken you in my quest for improvement. I have not been sitting idly by while my blog has gone unattended. No, this time was important to help me become the person that I knew I could truly be.

Gyuss Baltaar and His Top Military Officials Surrender
Today the House of Dagromm has accepted the official surrender of Gyuss Baltaar. Here is pictured the last of Gyuss' cabinet about to surrender their weapons. With all of the House of Dagromm centered on one enemy a quick resolution is anticipated.

The Q's Trail is Not That Hard to Follow

Field scouts are getting closer to finding the current hiding spot of the Q/Gyuss tandem of evil. Ever since their respective headquarters were overrun last week they have been on the lamb, moving from one safe house to another. Normally this might make it difficult to find an adversary, but in this case our team of experts have identified evidence that makes their trail quite distinctive. We are not going to disclose what this evidence is as we don't want to tip our hand to the enemy, but the attached photo is some sort of clue for the curious.

All Aboard Dagromm's Freedom Bus!!

Always on the lookout for new ways to inspire the troops in their riteous quest to exterminate evil (The Corner of the Q & The Cave of Gyuss) from the world the forces of good have unveiled their newest weapon, the Freedom Bus. The Freedom Bus was masterfully designed and crafted by the sharpest mechanical minds of West Virginia. It has the ability to accerate from 0-60 in 4.2 seconds, can demolish a 93 Crown Victoria, and has a leather interior. Already a tour with Big Foot is planned with stops in Charlotte, N.C.; Darlington, S.C.; Martinsville, VA; and Mobile AL. All who want to promote a better way of life and fend off the moral decay are welcome to take a ride on the Freedom Bus!

Assassination Attempt Foiled!!!

This afternoon an assassination attempt was foiled when the forces of QGy sent a not so subtle Tara Reid bomb into the House of Dagromm trying to end the world's bid for freedom. The ruse was quickly uncovered (as is the real Tara Reid) and was subdued with copious amounts of cocaine and alcohol.

Photo of the poorly thought out Tara Reid bomb

Irresponsible Leaders Upset Their Armed Forces

The military of Gyuss and the Q have let it be know thatr they are upset with the way their leadership is approaching the war. Allegations range from misuse of military resources to an apathetic approach for the people that are putting their lives on the line everyday for some misbegotten cause. A few examples of the problems that are surfacing are:

Using miltary jets for local advertising to scrounge up more gambling money for the evil dictators:

The use of armored support to harvest the Q's personal heroin crop:

Probably most damaging of all was a photo that Gyuss had taken of his recent trip to California:

The Q's Secret Army!!

Our worldwide network of allies has infiltrated the dark innerworkings of the Q/Gyuss sanctum santorum to find that they have unbeknownst the rest of the world been developing a sleeper army around the world. This secret army is composed of the Q's most fervent supporters in his quest for world destruction and inhabits the rural pasteur of many nations. That's right the Q/Gyuss team has called upon their natural allies the mindless sheep of the world to reign death and terror upon all freedom loving people. God help us all.

Open Letter to the Q and Gyuss

Q's Soldiers Woefully Outmatched

Say "We Kind of Rushed Into This"

Recent events have shown that the Q and his lover/ally Gyuss have bitten off more than they can chew as reports come in one after the other of their troops defeats. One captured enemy commander from Q's Armored Cavalry reports that "We kind of rushed into this. I mean we didn't have any training or anything!!! We would probably be a lot more effective if we at least had the manuals to these things. Instead we bought them second hand". Asked about his outlook for the coming days he said, "We're screwed. Thanks for nothing Q!"

Photos from the front lines seem to confirm what this one enemy officer said and confirm earlier reports that the axis of evil was having trouble recruiting competent soldiers.

Allied Forces Bring Down Another Disturbing Q Monument

The Q/Gyuss insurgent movement is losing ground at an imoressive rate. Around the globe their compounds and hidden cells of radical loyalists are being defeated. And with each victory by our good service men and women we find more monuments that Q has erected to suit his own vile compulsions. We have worked tirelessly and will continue to do so to end the madness and terror that is our enemy.

Q "Claims" Victory!!!

In another disturbing turn of events the fascist Q's Corner group has recently claimed victory for moving forward with their threat to kill Santa Clause. Because the children of the world united in the single cause to stop the Q and not join his minions, the Q made it his sole objective to eliminate the holiday hero. Although there has been no verification of this claim as of yet, this photo was released to the media just hours ago. The world clamors for this unholy alliance to be brought to justice, or at least brutally murdered.

Q Promotes New Child Slavery Super Store

The evilness of Q knows no bounds as he has recently begun heavily promoting his chain of child slavery mega stores also known as Q-Marts. Although the stores have come under heavy criticism, Q defends the retail outlets. In answer to protesters Q was heard to say that, "Sure 4th quarter earnings were a little disappointing, but we have big things coming in 2007. We saw positive growth with our online services and our Asian outlets are booming". This truly dispicable response has strengthened our resolve to finish this advocate of malevolence.

Enemy Leaders Caught on Tape

Our ever active network of covert operatives recently recorded the following conversation between the Q and Gyuss Baltaar with their highest ranking generals as they were sent reeling by the previous week's military activity. As can be seen they were not prepared for the onslaught that was brought upon them. What follows is a transcript from that conversation.


Q-Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast.


Gyuss- It jumped up a notch.


Q- It did, didn't it?


General Brick-Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.


Q-I saw that.Brick killed a guy.


Gyuss- Did you throw a trident?


General Brick- Yeah.There were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident.


Q-I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Find yourself a safe house or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder. I'm proud of you fellas. You kept your head on a swivel.


And it better stay on a swivel deviants, because a mercilous justice machine is coming after you!

The Gloves Are Off!!!!

The House of Dagromm and the Wheel are unleashing their ultimate weapon. Both Blog powers stating that they had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but they had been left with little choice. The inevitable conclusion is coming with the release of Chuck Norris from the cryogenic chamber which he has been kept for the saftey of the world. Look in fear Q and Gyuss! Death is coming for you, and he wears a black hat!

Troops Find Cave of Gyuss

Say "It's Not That Impressive"

Acting on intelligence reports that the Cave of Gyuss the Baleful was really "just around the block" from the Corner of the Q troops found and siezed the infamous cave. After a quick look inside they were disappointed to find that it was really very little more than a hole in the graound and probably didn't even really qualify as a cave. "Maybe for like a five year old it's some mysterious cave. For an adult it's just kind of pathetic," said intrepid scout K. Garoo (pictured). When asked if they could be sure that it was in fact the correct cave they pointed to the dog eared autobiographies of Rush Limbaugh and Dan Quale that littered the floor, as well as the parachute that appeared to have been used as a sleeping bag

The Q's Corner Has Been Found!!!!

It can now be confirmed that the base of operation for the self appointed master of evil and degradation known as the Q has been located. These photos taken by our spy network shows what poor shape the Q is actually in. Actions are already underway to close down the Corner and locate the Cave of Guy Ass Ball Tar.

The House of Cyberteam Unveil Three Point Plan for Victory

In a closed door summit with world leaders and tacticians earlier today the heads of both the House of Dagromm and Cyberman outlined their strategy for certain victory. After analyzing the enemies weaknesses and strengths(?) they developed a three tiered plan that will go into effect as early as today. As can be seen from the diagram below every contingency is flawlessly covered. After the announcement heads of state and leaders of nation bowed their heads in awe of what was later called by audience members, "the perfect plan".

Casualties Soar!!!

As this unprecedented war (B-Dub 1) continues the toll it takes on the fighting forces mounts. Already the evil axis has lost 13,524 bloodthirsty killers to their unriteous cause. Combined with the losses of CyberD and our own House of Dagromm that brings the total loss of life to 13,525. While his soldiers suffer and die the Q refuses to assist and instead spends his time hobnobbing at social functions.

Photo of Cemetary of Enemy Losses in This War

Photo of Cemetary of Combined Losses of Dagromm and CyberD

Why The Hell Didn't Anybody Tell Us About This???

Apparently there is a Q in Qatar too? Whatever Qatar is. Well that's fine we've already sent out a contingent of soldiers to discover whether any threat exists there. It's in the middle east so y'know there probably is. I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'. Odds are...

Allied Forces of Cyberman and Dagromm Break Through Vegas Lines

After much fighting, the expected happened and the Allied Forces of Good were able to break through the malicious combined forces of the Q and Gyuss to retake the city of Las Vegas. Unfortunately, it was too late to save the brothels in which the cowardly had taken refuge. All that was left was shallow graves filled with the bodies of the ladies that had been working at the time. This as all know is the mark of the Q.

The Stars Come Out In a Show of Support for Dagromm

Hollywood has spoken and they are showing unprecedented support for the War on Q. Activity is mounting as shows are being scheduled to entertain our fighting men and women overseas. Already slated are superstars Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Paulie Shore. Actress/Singer/War Advocate Jessica Simpson spoke to a crowd recently recanting her one encounter with the Q many years ago. She held back tears while giving a moving speech about the verbal and emotional abuse that he beset upon her. Then she also spoke to "the many atrocities that he has enacted on her likeness" on multiple occasions. She ended the speech signaling victory to rapturous applause.

The School for Combat Ready Evil Warriors for the Q (S.C.R.E.W. Q) faces diminishing numbers

Recent reports show that the tyrant is quickly losing favor with the people and his ability to recruit and train subservient lapdogs is at the brink of crisis. This picture shows a recent gathering of the despots trainees and the confusion that has become the "Corner". This is joyful news to the rest of the world with citizens around the globe celebrating and gloating. One cheerful man in Bahrain was heard to say, "Whose Bad?" and telling Q to, "just beat it". The people have spoken.

Spies Uncover Q's Plans for Army of Evil!

Recently undercover spies brought truly frightening pictures of Q's designs to construct an army of a diabolical nature. This computer generated simulation shows his plans outside of what is purported to be the "Corner of the Q". Already tacticians within the House have begun to devise counter strategies including the development of a super cannon.

Intelligence Reports on Q Stronghold

Thanks to the efforts of our international network of spies and informants we can now report that we are close to finding the exact position of the "Corner of the Q". Numerous tips have been received pointing out that the most well known Q in the world is in "Iraq". Upon further inspection of our various maps and globes we have confirmed that there is a Q in Iraq. Could this be a coincidence? Probably... NOT! Even now special forces are closing in. Q, your reign of vileness has come to an end!

The Q Brings Children Into The Battle

Proving what a scurrilous scoundrel he actually is the Q has started forcing children to try to wage his war. Reports are that Q has threatened to assassinate Santa Clause if the children did not take arms for his diabolical cause. Already the streets are lined with children mourning the promised execution that Q has brought upon them.

Update From the Front Lines
Soldiers laughingly say, "Q's Army Is a Joke"

Imbedded reporters with a division of The House's First Infantry say that spirits are high as soldiers find their opposition to be woefully outmatched. First Lieutenant D. Dutch says that, "apparently if they're not pushing around little girls for their lunchmoney or senior citizens for their retirement they're not too tough. Ha ha. Seriously, I'm not even sure they know how to use those guns". Even with the unprecedented success of the first few hours no one is getting over confident. They know that the Q's rise to such heights of evil does not allow for them to take the matter lightly.

Ground Troops Are Closing In On The Nefarious Q HQ

Early reports show that ground troops and scouts have been extremely successful in taking out Q cells in their many forms and hiding places. The extensive mission is covering every dark wooded forest, Godforsaken swamp, and under every slimey rock for the perpetrator of these serious crimes. Our highly trained soldiers are more than willing to go the distance to see this evil undone.

It Has Begun!

In the time it has taken for the world to react to the oppressive regime of the Q countless people have been victimized to suit his evil pleasure. The House of Dagromm will stand for it no longer. Even now troops are being mobilized to take immediate action. The Speaker of the House of Dagromm in a statement to media today said, "We vow to seek out the perpetrator of these crimes against the world. We will hunt him down no matter where he hides. Q, justice is coming for you, and it's coming with a vengeance".

Preparations Are Being Made

Consider this a warning to the entire Blog World that we are stockpiling supplies and preparing ourselves for a long overdue Blog War with the Q. After his most recent usurpation of the creative rights to the term "Blogment" we at the House feel this is our only recourse. Even now warehouses are being filled with Blogaganda materials that will be distributed should the Q not come to his senses. It will not be pretty and he has been warned that no amount of UN pressure will stop us from seeking justice.

Secret Santa

I tried to tell CyberD about this over the phone yesterday, but his network hates him so much that we continuously got dropped. After about a half dozen times we gave up and I drove my car into a retaining wall. I was trying to relate to him the conversation my wife and I had just had that I thought was funny, but she did not.







Mrs. Dagromm: We're doing a secret santa at the office and I have to go out and find something to get for $20. Any ideas?

Me: Why don't you get a bra?

Mrs. Dagromm: Because I don't want to get fired.

Me: How would you get fired? It's a secret santa.

Mrs. Dagromm: But when everybody starts claiming the gifts, I'll be the one stuck with the bra.

Me (misunderstanding): Make sure you get your size then.

Me (now comprehending that she meant in an investigation): Oh, just say you didn't know what you brought, because you sent your husband out to get the gift for you. He must have misunderstood.

Mrs. Dagromm: Goodbye.

Actual Conversation I Overheard, For Real

A little while back, me and my buddy Big Dirty were playing some frisbee golf at the park. While out there we happened upon a group of teenage girls who had gathered at the pavilion to hang out. This is what Big Dirty thought was a subtle way to make his moves:

Big Dirty: Hey, what's goin' on? Y'all havin' a party?

Teenage Girl: Uhmmm. We're just hanging out.

Big Dirty: Yeah, I love to party too. When I was in high school, which was just a few years ago, I must of partied like all the time.

Silence

Big Dirty: So are y'all drinking some beers and stuff? Don't worry, I won't say anything. Of course I'm old enough to buy beer now. It's pretty cool. I can get all the beer I want when it's time to party!! So let me know if you start running low.

Teenage Girl (tentatively): Thanks...we'll let you know if we need anything.

Big Dirty: We should all hang out some time. I have some awesome parties. I've got my own place so I don't have to ask permission or anything. I can even party during weekdays. Since we're friends you can use it sometime if you need a place.

Silence and the girls nervously look around

Big Dirty: So, who here likes My Space?

More silence.

Big Dirty: I've been on it for a while now. I'm linked to all sorts of people. Like the drummer for Nickelback. He's one of my best My Space friends. Y'all should give me your pages so we can all link up. Do any of you own webcams?

Really uncomfortable silence

Big Dirty: I've got some extras if you need one. That way we could totally party on line. It'll be awesome. I don't invite everybody to my parties so don't go telling everybody. I don't want girls with bad self esteem killing themselves or anything(motions not so subtley at goth girl). That's not cool. In fact if any of you girls have really bad self esteem you are completely invited to come to my place. Right now even.

Massive, oppressive silence

Big Dirty: Or later, whatever. I know you're thinking about it and I'm cool with that.

Big Dirty: You know what else is so great about high school? Doing whatever you can to buck the system. Am I right? Yeah, I know, I never listened to what "adults" thought I should and shouldn't do. It's all about finding out for yourself. That's what's so great about having a place you can go. You know like my place. You can do like, whatever there and it's totally cool.

Big Dirty: Who here likes to watch The Real World? Man I love that show!! MTV right? It's awesome. Wouldn't that be cool to like just live with a bunch of people that're our age in an apartment or something? With a video camera? That would be totally rad.

Big Dirty: Did I mention I have a video camera?

It turns out we had arrived just as the party was ending though and the girls left shortly after. BD seemed to think he'd made a good impression. I was just glad that I had never ventured near enough to be associated with.

HR is my life!!!

I like to spend about 15% of my time doing HR work and the other 85% of the time pursuing personal interests. Now what HR work consists of differs from company to company, but normally it involves one of a few different aspects. Involving yourself in hiring, training, benefits administration, employee files, employee relations, and coaching managers because seriously a lot of managers have their heads up their asses and have no idea how they come off to their employees. It can also involve inviting yourself to other departments happy hours and pot lucks without actually contributing anything. That's what I focus on the most.

Self Evaluation

I recently had to complete my self evaluation for work. For those of you in the Blog Universe that are unfamiliar with the concept, it comes around once a year when managers are supposed to give their direct reports performance appraisals. It makes things easier on the manager because you're basically going to do all the research on whether you hit your target numbers. Well in my case I wasn't even given my target numbers until two days before hand. Astoundingly enough, not only did I hit all my targets I far exceeded every one of them!!! According to my research at least, and the flawed statistics that we've kept, and my math (I'm not paid to be an accountant so you can't fault me!!!). I spent all of yesterday at the office working on it, except for the time spent blogging and reading blogs and of course going to lunch, and doing a little internet shopping, and sports reading. By the end of the day I was exhausted. Putting so much effort into letting my manager know how invaluable I am is really tiring. So, I'll probably blow off today too.

Sit Com Idea

I first heard the term, "jumping the shark" on the radio about five or six years ago and from the moment I heard it, I knew exactly what it meant. It's a reference to an old episode of Happy Days where after running out of ideas for what to do next, the writers had the Fonze test his cool by doing a ski jump over a shark tank. This comes after episodes in which Arthur Fonzerelli had already done motorcycle jumps over cars, demolition derbies, and rumbles with gangs, kung fu experts, and an alien (remember Mork). Since the common complaint is that Hollywood doesn't ever have new ideas I feel that we should embrace our own unoriginality and really run with it. In it we would follow a typical American family and their wacky neighbor as they encounter all sorts of odd hijinx. Every episode would shamelessly force in every trite T.V. fallback idea and play it up in the campiest tongue in cheek way. To set the precedent we would have a character literally jump a shark in the very first episode. In the second episode, uh oh Donnie's got amnesia!!!! The third episode "We're having a baby!!!". The fourth epsiode the baby is now inexplicably five years old and doesn't he say the cutest things. The fifth episode Janie's got a boyfriend, and she's thinking about...kissing!!! The sixth episode Donnie finds out it's not cool to fall a victim of peer pressure, also the youngest kid has now inexplicably dissapeared. I was tired of him.
Let me know what you think blog world. I think it could be genius! If it anybody would like to buy this idea from me then I'd be glad to sell it.

Movie Reviews

A Prairie Home Companion

This movie had a few chuckles but ultimately left me wondering why it was made. I've heard some people complain that nothing happens in episodes of Seinfeld. Well this movie makes Seinfeld look like The Marine so little happens. It meanders and scenes happen for seemingly no reason. Since Robert Altman recently died I will give this movie an A-.

The Illusionist

The Illusionist is based off a short story and watches like one. It is deceptive in it makes you think there is more depth to the movie than there really is. In the end though I found myself asking, "Is that it?". It does have Jessica Biel in it, whom I believe to be overrated, so I have to give this movie an A-.

The Fountain

There's a lot of different things going on in this movie which makes it hard to explain in a blog format so instead I will transcribe my thoughts at different junctures during the movie.
5 minutes-What the F?
10 minutes-huh?
15 minutes-Crap, I could've been watching Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny, or Stranger Than Fiction, or Happy Feet, or The Prestige, or Saw III, or ....
25 minutes-...or Borat, or Flushed Away, or The Guardian, or Santa Clause III: The Escape Clause, or Deck the Halls, or....
40 minutes-I wish Wolverine would hurry up and kill some people.
50 minutes-I'm not getting any if I leave this thing. I gotta be good through this to earn the panty points.
55 minutes-All out of popcorn?!?? Damn, I should have gotten a hotdog, or nachos, or a Nestle Crunch, or Twizzlers, or M&M's, or Gummi Bears, or ....
1 hour-...or Junior Mints, or Raisinets, or malt balls, or chocolate covered almonds, or a pickle, a movie meal wouldn't have been bad, or a Hot Tamales, or Goobers, or Sour Patch Kids, or...
1 hour 5 minutes-I wonder if there are any good looking girls in this theater.
1 hour 10 minutes-Nope.
1 hour 20 minutes-That's a lot of snow. Maybe Sabertooth is going to show up. Or Lady Deathstrike, or Pyro, or Magneto...
1 hour 25 minutes-...or Mystique, or Juggernaut, or Callisto, or Phoenix, or Toad, or ...
1 hour 30 minutes-Oh God!! Was I snoring??? Gotta hold it together. I've almost made it. Maybe I can do some jumping jacks in the back of the theater without anyone noticing. Panty points. Panty points.
1 hour 35 minutes-Damn, it's quiet leaving this theater. I hope she doesn't ask me what I thought of the movie.

The special effects were ok, but it needed more action scenes. I give it an A-.

All I Want For Christmas

...is the next Harry Potter book. In the mean time I will accept the newest HP movie. In this time of national tension due to the current war I wonder when we will call upon Dumbledore's Army to clean up the mess that we've made.

What am I Doing Here???

I'm in the office and for the second straight day our e-mail and voicemail are out. What does that mean for me? Almost guaranteed silence. I will be unable to do much of anything along with most everybody in the office, and yet here we all are. The company is outsourcing IT and I don't know that the executives realized the extent of the problems that they would face once they made the announcement. I can almost guarantee that a large portion of the numerous systems outages are due to internal sabotage, but oh well. You reap what you sew. If the employees liked and respected the company then they probably wouldn't act out like this.

Hot Stove League

Well, it's that most entertaining time of the year for youth soccer once again. That's right it's the time in the off season when players and coaches have to register for the Spring soccer season. So what does that mean to friendly Coach Dagromm??? Recruiting!!!! Time to trim the fat and add some muscle to our team. This is when I get to have my kid go to school analyze some prospects and then sell them on how great it would be to join our championship caliber team and our winning tradition. This also the time when I get to tell players from last season how much I hope their back, or how great I think they would be in something like ballet or gymnastics. You know something that doesn't involve a ball or the need to kick it. This is when I contact players from teams past to see how their doing ('cause you know I care. Right) and if they'd like to sign up for the new soccer year with Old Coach Dags!!! This is when I try to lure away the players from other teams to form my ubersquad that will totally dominate other teams and give me a sense of self worth. I've already got half of my team back from last season, just 24 hours into registration time, but I'm worried that I might be losing one of my best players. My daughter keeps telling me that this girl isn't going to play this season. So you know whose house I'll be visiting pretty soon!!!

A Shout Out to Becks

"Somewhere, Bo Schembechler is smiling.'' -- ABC's Brent Musburger, after Michigan scored on its first possession against Ohio State.

Exactly what is Brent Musburger implying? He obviously knows that Becks isn't missing or anything. He is in fact deceased. But I guess Brent feels that his final destination is in question. Way to not so subtly say, "Burn in hell Bo Schembechler".
Well I'm not standing for it. I'm writing my congressman today to have Brent Musburger removed from office.

Two Things I Would Recommend

Akeelah and the Bee
I rented this movie and watched it with the kids this weekend. It was the best movie I've seen in a while and the kids immediately wanted to start studying for the spelling bee afterwards. I thought the kids were very impressive actors and I can't wait to see them in other things as they get older. Laurence Fishburne played the mentor/coach/teacher which is the type of character that he plays best. In "What Ever Happened to Bobby Fisher" and "The Matrix" he shows that he would probably be able to teach anybody anything. A really nice movie and I'd definately point anyone towards it.

Jonah Hex
I recently picked up some back issues of the latest Jonah Hex series and have enjoyed all of them. They capture the western feel very well without coming across pretentiously, and the art and writing are very well done. Add to it cool cover art and the fact that the stories are self contained, and you've got yourself a winner.

I haven't been away that long from the blog, but I had written a nice long post a couple of days ago and when I went to add a picture Blogger dropped me. So the great work of literature that I had so lovingly crafted was lost to the world forever. I could try to recreate it, but I'm too pissed.

A Brush With Greatness

I just want to kick a shout out to Cyberman for his recent dialogue with Cowboys all-time great Drew Bledsoe.

My Idea For Voting Reform

Before I get started on this let me say that I'm not arguing that I think this will ever happen, but I do think it's an interesting idea. It occurs to me that many Americans have a general dissatisfaction with the election process that we currently employ. From the candidates, to the negative campaigning, to the lack of information available about the people that we are voting on. So my idea is that at the beginning of the campaign each candidate that has been selected to be on the ballot is sequestered into a room where they take a 200 question (random number I just picked) profile quiz in regards to where they stand on different policies, current issues, and hypothetical situations. The on election day voters go in and take a similar, but shorter quiz (25 questions) and their vote is then automatically cast to the candidate that is most reflective of their beliefs on the issues. I realize that there would have to be some weighting of different categories and in fact that would probably be part of the quiz. So instead of voting for a candidate or party, people would vote their beliefs on issues and if the best candidate for them happened to be from another party then that person would get their vote. This would also cause a change in campaign ads and funding as it no longer becomes necessary to spout rhetoric and defame opposing candidates, instead candidates would be forced to push issues and ideas. I'm not saying this process doesn't have bugs in it, or would be universally lauded, but no process ever is. I do think though that it takes a lot of the animosity out of politics and elections and really puts the onus back on the American people to think about what they are doing when casting their votes.

Just When You Think You Know Somebody

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/11/07/pot.burgers.ap/index.html

It almost makes me change my stance.